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from-the-clouds · 4 years ago

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Kiss Me More (Part IIII) - Zemo/Reader

Masterlist | Part One | Part Two | Part Three |

Summary: Reader ponders the decision they made after meeting Zemo in Riga. Series now complete!

Words: 5.2k

Warnings: Kissing, marijuana & alcohol abuse, heavy angst & depression, small reference to suicide, implied casual sex, yearning

A/N (also check out A/N at end when finished reading): This is it, everyone! I was going to end this completely differently originally, but after some thinking -- and some light peer pressure from ya’ll, I did something a little different. I did fight with this part the most out of all of them, so I hope it’s still good. Please enjoy. And thank you for all the love on this series, it’s been so fun to write! Also I was listening to this song while writing this.

---

The incessant buzz of her alarm clock jolted her out of her dreamless sleep. Fumbling in the dark, she slapped the top of it, hitting the snooze button and looking at the interface with bleary eyes.

4:00 A.M. It stared, indifferent, back at her tired face.

She groaned, squeezing her eyes shut and lamenting, bargaining, half expecting the clock to turn back time when she opened her eyes again. Unfortunately, it did not. With a huff, she threw back the covers and stretched, disturbing the orange cat that slept in the empty spot next to her where her husband used to lay.

Snorting, the cat lifted its head to look at her as she climbed out of bed before curling back up in a ball where her feet had been.

“Don’t mind me, just getting ready for work so I can feed us,” she said, grumpily, then in a moment of repentance, affectionately scratching her behind the ears.

She had always been a night owl, so she didn’t think it would be possible to ever get used to waking this early. No human was meant to function at this time. It was the one part of the job she hated most. The rest of it was manageable, though it was still work.

Setting about her morning routine, she showered, made coffee, and donned her uniform. Eating a day-old bagel and nursing her coffee on her tiny balcony, she looked out over the darkened horizon. It was far too early to even enjoy a sunrise.

There was a saying, time heals all wounds. After her husband died, she’d heard it a lot. It was a saying she had come to find true. But it’d been well over a year since she’d left Helmut, alone in that swanky hotel room, and it still hurt like it was yesterday.

“I understand,” he’d murmured, and she felt the ghost of his kiss on her forehead, arms around her waist, even now. She shivered, not from the chill of the morning air.

She’d left her old life behind, all of it. Sam and Bucky, too, about a month after their time in Riga. She couldn’t look them in the eyes after what she’d done.

But, she was proud of what they’d accomplished. They’d defeated the Flag Smashers. Bucky seemed happier, more at peace. Sam had accepted his role as the new Captain America. John Walker seemed to have faded into irrelevancy. All the loose ends had been tied up in a pretty little bow.

Except for hers.

Which is why she moved, sold all the stuff in her tiny NYC apartment, and packed her car full with what she couldn’t bear to part with, some photos and momentos from a different lifetime. Her car didn’t stop until she hit the Atlantic Ocean, on an island just south of Charleston. All but undiscovered by tourists, the residents in the sleepy beach town kept to themselves, and she could go about her life in peace, undisturbed.

She couldn’t just run away from her problems, that was why she’d left Zemo. It seemed counterintuitive, but in her mind, it made sense. The problems would catch up to her, like they always had. The dissatisfaction she had with her life, with herself, was always going to return. And she knew she had to be alone to deal to face it head on. Like a wounded animal, crawling into the woods, there were only two ways things could end here; either she’d heal and come out stronger, or eventually she’d die. And so far, the healing part wasn’t going great.

Each day was a matter of convincing herself that she’d made the right choice. Especially now, as her eyes burned, fighting to stay open against the inviting embrace of sleep.

Despite it being dark outside, the bakery was bustling already when she walked in the service entrance. It smelled amazing, as always. Sweet and warm, a cacophony of aromas, baking bread, fresh coffee, sugar.

She set about the usual preparations to open up, packaging orders for the regulars, sweeping the floor, wiping down countertops. Once the place was open, she didn’t have to work the register, as she prepared batches of dough in the back for proofing, to be baked the next day.

Before, she’d been a terrible cook, but she’d grown comfortable in the kitchen after learning to bake. There was something satisfying about working with her hands, at this point she’d memorized all the recipes and the work became second nature to her. Now, she always had fresh bread and pastries in her kitchen, although they were the slightly disformed, ones the shop owners deemed too ugly for the glass display cases. Daylight was cherished, even if she barely saw it inside the shop. Because while she was awake, busy with work, her thoughts remained pleasant.

At night it was the hardest. Things got quiet, lonely. When she got home, she poured herself a drink. Cheap whiskey, the kind that came in a plastic bottle and burned on it’s way down. She had never been much of a drinker before, she was now. Her thoughts were more manageable after a drink. Especially because she was usually thinking of Helmut.

It was often that she wondered what he may be doing, and those thoughts usually ended with the image of him lying in the sun, poolside, on some island in the Pacific Ocean, drinking expensive champagne with a supermodel. It wasn’t a particularly comforting thought to her, and yet she was plagued by some variation of it every night.

Sometimes, she’d humor herself, and imagine what they might be doing had she decided to stay with him. Unfortunately, thinking of that was more upsetting. She wanted it, selfishly, though she wasn’t willing to admit it.

When she was younger, it had been so easy to block out the pain, to just press forward, no matter what. Much to her dismay, it didn’t get easier as she got older. Years of watching those she loved in pain, years of being in pain had taken a toll on her resilience. She wasn’t the strong woman she once was, she was weak.

That night, one drink had turned into two, into three. Wallowing in her own self-pity had become second-nature, she felt like Hamlet, lamenting her circumstances, a constant turmoil monologuing in her brain. But this night felt particularly worse, for some reason.

For the record, she had been doing better. But she was all-too-familiar with how grief worked, pulling her back down the dark side of the mountain, where she was forced to fight her demons over and over again. At some point, they were going to win.

It was a funny thing. Despite the loss of her husband, who she had loved dearly, his death had been easier to accept. Final. She couldn’t bring him back. Helmut on the other hand, was still out there, an open wound that could never fully heal.

Before she knew it, she was four drinks in, at her bedside table, fumbling through the bottom drawer, until she found what she was looking for.

Back on her couch, she stared at the card in her hand, the hastily written phone number on it, an international line. Helmut had given it to her, the day she left, stuck it in her purse while she wasn’t looking. She didn’t discover it until she had returned home.

It had been months since she last did this, pulled the card out of its hidden place in her drawer, placed it on the coffee table in front of her next to her phone, and considered dialing it. It had been a frequent occurrence when she first moved here, when she couldn’t find a job and spent most of her mornings either hungover, or stumbling home from rendezvous with men whose names she wouldn’t remember, and she wouldn’t care to, because there was only one man she really wanted. She could only hope he’d be as close as one call away. But she never called.

I mean really, he’d probably moved on by this point. If she was going to call, she should have done it months ago, when there was more of a chance that he’d give a fuck.

She considered this a setback. But she’d made her way halfway through the cheap bottle of whiskey, it was the drunkest she’d been in ages and she was curious. She didn’t know whose number it was, who’d be on the other end of the line, and never knew why Helmut would want her to have it to begin with.

At this point, she wasn’t capable of good decision making. In general, it hadn’t always been her strong suit. So why did doing the right thing matter now? It didn’t, she decided.

Taking a swig of whiskey straight from the bottle, she ensured she wouldn’t remember what happened next, at least not clearly.

The phone rang twice before someone picked up. “Hello?” she didn’t recognize the sound of the man on the other end of the line immediately, so she didn’t answer. All she had wanted to do was maybe hear Helmut’s voice, he didn’t even need to know it was her that was calling.

“Hello?” the man repeated, and she realized it wasn’t completely unfamiliar. The grandfatherly, comforting tone wasn’t her former lover, but someone close to him. And she supposed that wasn’t terrible.

“Is this Oeznik?” she asked.

“It is,” he said after some hesitation. “May I ask who’s speaking?”

Truthfully, she was shocked she’d allowed herself to go this far. This was a bad idea. If she stopped now she could get off without doing any real damage. But just as she was about to hang up, she heard her name, muffled, on the other end of the line.

“H-How do you know it’s me?” She raised the phone back to her ear.

“I thought you sounded familiar,” Oeznik chuckled, low and soft. “Helmut told me you might call.”

“He did?” she squeaked. “Yes, although it was awhile ago. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I uh….I….well….” she managed. “I guess I just….I guess I wanted to see how he was doing.” Her words flowed together like the liquor she was drinking, she knew she sounded drunk.

“Good, since we last spoke,” he said. “I don’t hear from him much these days...maybe every couple months. As you might imagine, he’s trying to keep a low profile for the time being.”

She nodded. Perhaps Zemo was as lonely as she was, hidden away in some cabin in the middle of nowhere. Though she had to imagine it looked much nicer than her current place, and maybe he had better company than a portly orange cat that begrudgingly liked him. “I understand.”

“How have you been?” he asked.

It sounded stupid, but she realized it was the first time someone had asked her that. Sincerely. Checked up on her. Even if she was the one who had dialed the number in the first place.

“I’m good,” her voice cracked. “Just keeping busy.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” he said. “Helmut always had such nice things to say about you.”

“Really?” she couldn’t stop herself.

“Of course, would you like me to let him know you called?”

“No, no...I wouldn’t want to bother him,” she choked on her words, something catching in her throat.

“Are you sure you’re alright, dear?”

“I’m okay, I just….” she felt tears prick at the back of her eyes, lowering her voice, since she didn’t think her normal register would come out as anything other than a whine. “I think I made a horrible mistake.”

“What’s the matter? What did you do?”

She shook her head, shaking the tears loose and now they were lining her lashes, threatening to spill over. However, she managed to make the next words she spoke come out clearly. “Nothing, I just...it’s really stupid, I really shouldn’t have called.”

He sighed on the other end of the line, and she felt like, despite her attempt at staying calm, he could still see that she wasn’t somehow. “It seemed Helmut was awfully sweet on you,” Oeznik’s words next came hesitantly, calculated. “I shouldn’t be telling you this, but he told me if you ever called, to help you with whatever you might need, no matter the ask.”

Oh God, what had she done? A sob left her, one she couldn’t control, and she clapped her hand over her mouth to stifle any more. Her tears were flowing freely now, tracking down her cheeks and along her chin. She wiped at them clumsily, clearing her throat.

“That’s very kind of him, but you can’t help me. I’m so sorry to bother you, please just forget I even called,” she forced a smile on her face so that hopefully he could hear it. “Goodbye.”

She hung up, horrified, and within seconds had deleted the call log from her phone. She’d been thoughtful enough not to memorize the number, and the lighter she used whenever she smoked sat in front of her. Without a second though, she burned the card, watching the paper blacken and disintegrate, until it was all but a pile of soot on her Wal-Mart coffee table. It was a fair punishment, and ensured she’d never get the chance to embarrass herself like that again.

And then she cried, sobbed into a pillow next to her, until her tears ran dry and she wore herself out, falling asleep on the couch alone. When she’d wake the next morning, the only evidence of her actions would be a throbbing headache and a dead phone.

She wouldn’t remember the call.

----

Life went on, as it always did. It had been about a month, and since that night she grew more indifferent, remembered how to ignore heartbreak. For now, she was stuck in her purgatory, waking up before the sun and falling asleep before it set, smoking joints, drinking cheap liquor, and going on the occasional date with people who she didn’t really like, tourists who would leave after a week and wanted temporary company.

Despite everything, she partly believed things were getting better. Maybe they weren’t, but the possibility that someday they would seemed feasible. And that was enough, for now.

On her days off, she’d walk to the beach and lay on a blanket, reading a book until the sun dipped below the horizon and lit up the sky in hues of pinks and purples. She found a record player at an antique store and began collecting vinyls, listening to obscure artists whose albums she found in the $1 bin. It wasn’t so bad. Life wasn’t so bad.

She took a shower after work. Tomorrow was her off day, and she wasn’t sure what she had planned besides maybe watching a movie and getting stoned. Maybe she’d try going to the beach. The weather was getting warmer, and she could even go swimming if the water wasn’t too cold.

Exhausted from her day of work, she laid down in her bed, still in her robe, her hair wrapped in a towel around her head. The sun was setting outside, the windchimes she’d hung outside slowly clanging together, birds singing in the warm spring air. Her cat hopped on the bed, offered an affectionate trill and curled up at her side, purring, in a rare display of affection. A cool breeze drifted through the open window. And for the first time in over a year, she felt content. Closing her eyes, she savored the moment, committed it to memory, so she could recall it the next time she was drunk-crying in front of her TV.

She fell asleep slowly, so slowly that when she woke, startled by something in her kitchen clattering to the floor, it felt like she hadn’t even been sleeping at all. The clock next to her red 11:31 p.m. and it was pitch dark outside, the cool breeze from before had grown stronger and her bedroom curtains were billowing, wind whistling loudly through the apartment. Her cat had left her side, and she frowned, shivering in the sudden cold.

Pulling the towel off her head, she made her way over to the window with the intention to close it, sleepily, lazily, until she heard something else. A creak in the floorboard. A heavy footstep in her kitchen. That wasn’t just her cat.

Some kind of muscle memory was ignited then, an ancient instinct that called to her from a different lifetime. Darting across the room, the gun she kept was in her hand, stealthily pulled from its hiding spot beneath her mattress. Truth be told, she never thought she would’ve needed it. Anyone looking for her would be smart enough to kill her in her sleep, not be so foolish as to wake her first with their heavy footsteps.

A dark silhouette stalked through her kitchen, moving slowly. It was a man, she assumed, based on his broader figure, and lack of coordination. In her experience, women were often stealthier without trying. He took another step, the floor creaking below him, shuffling on bargain linoleum.

Staying low, she crept forward, ducking stealthily behind furniture, avoiding the spots on the floor she knew made noise. It didn’t appear the intruder had a weapon, in fact, it seemed he was bumbling about, searching for something. A burglar, and a bad one at that. An island full of vacation homes owned by rich doctors and they thought they’d find valuables in her shitty apartment?

It wasn’t until she was standing directly behind him, gun aimed at his head, that she finally spoke up.

“I believe you’ve come to the wrong place,” she said flatly. “Whatever you’re looking for, it’d be in your best interest to leave empty-handed.”

Her eyes were still adjusting to the dark, but the intruder froze, arms slowly raising in defeat, empty-handed, as he turned around to face her. In the dingy room, she couldn’t make out any of his features, could only see that he was clad in all black.

“Unfortunately, liebling, that wasn’t my intention.”

She would’ve recognized that voice anywhere, though the endearment he’d used was enough to clue her in. Hitting the lightswitch with her free hand, she was face to face with the man she’d spent the past year trying to purge from her memory, Helmut Zemo.

Her gut twisted, her mind raced, but the only thing currently bubbling up, over the surface of every other emotion was the pure, seething rage left behind in the wake of fearing for her life.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” she stepped towards him, gun still raised, fuming.

“Hey, hey!” he staggered backwards, hands raised, eyes averted.

“I thought you were a fucking robber!” she hissed. “I thought you were here to kill me!”

“Lower your voice,” he scolded. “You’re going to wake your neighbors.”

Taking a deep breath, she realized she still had her gun trained on him and she lowered it, clicking the safety and discarding the weapon on the countertop. “What the fuck?” she asked. “What the hell is wrong with you? What the fuck are you doing here?”

“I didn’t know you had such a mouth on you,” he smirked, but she wasn’t finished, and she glowered at him.

“You broke into my apartment!” she growled.

“I had to be sure I was in the right place.”

“Yeah? You couldn’t have knocked first?”

He nodded, eyes trailing down to her hands, which were trembling, she hadn’t even realized. He seemed to understand what he’d done then, and she flexed her fingers, eyes locking with his. “I suppose...you may be right,” he said, surrendering.

She felt the rage subsiding as she took in his appearance. He looked not so different from the last time she’d seen him, except a fair amount of stubble covered his jawline in a short beard. He was still devastatingly handsome. Zemo’s dark eyes, filled with longing, drank her in, tilting his head as his gaze shifted to her lips. It was like she could read his mind, she knew what he wanted, what he was thinking. And her body was going to betray her if he kept it up.

Despite everything, she was still upset. Upset and embarrassed, as the light was doing an unflattering expose of her tiny, cluttered apartment, full of mismatched furniture and water-damaged wallpaper that her landlord refused to replace. It probably gave the prison cells that Helmut had spent years in a run for their money, and was in stark contrast to every other aspect of his life.

“What’s this?” he asked, gesturing to the empty liquor bottles on her countertop, stowed in her trash can. “Have you been drinking?”

“Not tonight,” she quipped, on guard. Had to be. As much as some old instinct told her to throw herself into his arms, press her lips to the underside of his jaw, and let him envelope her in the comfort of his embrace, she knew she couldn’t.

“Hmm,” he brushed past her, frowning, looking disappointed, as he made his way to her living room.

“How did you find me?” she asked, eyeing him wearily.

“I’m a wanted man, I trace every call that comes into my estate,” he said over his shoulder.

Helmut was taking inventory of the cramped space, staring at the photos she’d hung in a collage on the wall behind her couch, with a few watercolors painted by her late husband. One in particular, that he was focused on now, was from her wedding. Of all the memories she chose to hang, this one was her fondest, her former partner was all dark curly hair falling into deep blue eyes, and she was the portrait of a blushing bride, wearing a dopey love-drunk smile, gazing at him, ignoring the camera.

“You looked so beautiful on your wedding day,” he said, turning over his shoulder to look at her. He was so out of place here, standing in her living room, for a moment she thought he might be a hallucination, some physical manifestation of the heartbreak she’d experienced. “Although that doesn’t surprise me.”

She flushed, suddenly self-conscious in her thin black robe and still-damp hair. It occurred to her that she wasn’t looking her best, which made this whole situation that much more disconcerting. However, the compliment disarmed her slightly, and the anger she felt began to dissipate, slowly. She was going to offer him something to drink until her cat, who had been absent through the chaos, suddenly jumped up on the back of the couch and promptly hissed at him in an attempt to defend her territory.

“Pumpkin, be nice,” she said, although it was mostly to placate Helmut. Pumpkin never listened to her.

Helmut let her sniff his hand, and she was stunned when the cat rubbed her face against it. Of course, Pumpkin would like him of all people. That made sense. Then again, she supposed it made them not so different. He turned away to look at the rest of the room. “I see you haven’t kicked that bad habit you told me about,” he gestured at the ashtray full of roaches on the coffee table.

“Did you just come to my place to insult me?” she asked, putting her hands on her lips and feigning confidence. She could’ve rolled over and cried and told him how much she missed him, how many nights she’d spent crying over him, and while all of it was true, she felt indignation was the better option for her self-preservation.

“That’s a good question,” Helmut turned to face her now, hands in the pockets of the leather jacket he was wearing. Completely inappropriate for the weather here, but he didn’t seem to notice, or care. “Why do you think I’m here?” he asked.

She shrugged, feigning indifference. “I don’t know, but you shouldn’t be.”

He snorted, his frustration evident, and she saw a glimpse of the man that so many feared, the side that had earned him his dangerous reputation, that had him locked away in a high-security prison for nearly a decade. “I didn’t come all this way for nothing, draga, we’re going to have it out.”

“Fine,” she said, lacing as much venom as she could into her words to prepare herself. “Then get on with it.”

He stared her down, and the expression her wore startled her, something sparkled in his eyes, mischief, relief maybe? It was insulting. Like he didn’t take her seriously. But there was something else there, too, something she couldn’t quite put her finger on, but it was wiped from his visage before it registered.

The tension in the room dissipated slightly when Zemo sat on the arm of the worn couch she’d bought from a yard sale, and she winced. “I spoke to Oeznik the other day,” he said flatly, snorting, eyes focused on a stain on one of the rugs she owned. “He told me he had the pleasure of speaking to a friend of mine about a month ago.”

Frowning, she tilted her head, her eyes meeting Helmut’s. Something in her brain sparked a memory she’d once dismissed as a dream after a particularly bad night of drinking.

“He was concerned, you see, because this friend didn’t seem to be in the best state of mind,” Helmut rose from the arm of the couch, stalking forward slowly, and she couldn’t move backwards, not even if she wanted to, as he could pin her easily against the front door. His voice grew louder, faster as he went on. “He said she was crying, slurring her words, he told me he thought maybe she might be-” Helmut cut himself off abruptly and closed his eyes, clenching one of his fists, a look of distress on his face as he took in a terse breath. “I won’t finish that thought, but you’re a smart girl, you can imagine what I’m getting at.”

Swallowing hard, the phone call came back to her in pieces, the tears, sobbing on the phone to a man she hardly knew. It was the night she finally admitted to herself she’d made a mistake, even though she’d already known it, deep down when she left him in the hotel room.

“Please forgive me for breaking in tonight,” Helmut said. “But I couldn’t bear the thought of you not answering the door, I needed to see with my own eyes that you were okay.”

Exhaling through her nose, she looked at the floor. “It’s not like that. I had too much to drink.” she said, keeping her voice as steady as possible. “It was just a bad night.”

“Then tell me, what was the horrible mistake you made?” he asked, stepping closer. He was close to her, now. So close. And his proximity made everything more difficult.

God, if only she could remember exactly what she’d said, the only thing that came to her were the emotions, desperation, sadness, grief. It was all too much, and he was threatening to bring them all back to destroy her again.

“I shouldn’t have called,” she said, shaking her head. “And I’m sorry. What do you want me to say? What do you want from me?”

“What do I want from you?” He asked, tilting his head, his eyebrows pulling together. “Do you have any idea how worried I was? How hard it was to sit on a plane when all I wanted to do was be here? With you?” His hand rose to cup her cheek, stopping just short of her face when she flinched away from his touch.

“Please stop,” she managed, the burn of tears behind her eyes almost menacing. The last thing she needed was to cry in front of him. “You’re undoing everything.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” he asked.

“You’re….you’re here,” she murmured weakly, wetness seeping, glossing over her pupils. “I only have so much capacity for pain right now, if you touch me now, you’ll ruin everything.”

No one ever had this kind of hold on her, she’d never bent her rules to appease anyone else, and she’d gone toe to toe with super soldiers. He was just a man, and yet, he terrified her.

“You really want me to leave?”

She couldn’t answer, but one tear escaped, sliding down her cheekbone, and she sniffled.

“I’m not the one who did this to you,” his thumb, swiped along her face gently, wiping it away. He’d touched her, just barely, and she was reeling.

“I know,” she stuttered, gasping. “I know it was me, but I thought I was doing the right thing.”

“You are so stubborn.” His expression softened as he looked upon her, his thumb tracing underneath her jaw, tilting her head upwards to look at him. Malleable, she obliged. “I’ve thought about you everyday since the night we spent together. You’ve plagued me. That can’t be a coincidence. Are you really happier this way? You must be honest with me.”

She shook her head, blinking out fresh tears. “No, I’m not. I just thought...by the time I realized I made the wrong choice, you’d have moved on. People like us don’t get to be happy.”

“Says who?”

How could she refuse him anymore? This would continue to go on until she gave in. And from the beginning, she wanted to give in. There was no use in fighting the inevitable. The small point of contact -- his hand on her chin -- radiated impressive warmth, and she could feel every part of herself being attracted to him, quelling some ache deep within her.

Reaching up, she clutched at Helmut’s palm, which didn’t last long, because he pulled her into his arms, nestling her head underneath his chin. She melted into his embrace, finding solace in the warmth of his solid frame.

“Come home with me,” he coaxed softly.

“I will,” she murmured, surrendering to the comfort of his presence. “But you have to let me bring Pumpkin.”

He chuckled, warm and amiable, the vibration of his chest echoing in her own. “Of course, you’ll bring Pumpkin,” he murmured into her hair. Oh, how she had missed hearing him laugh. They could’ve stayed that way for hours, and she would’ve been content, but he pulled away, hands on either side of her face as he studied her.

Unable to hold back any longer, she leaned in to kiss him. It was chaste at first, all the memories of her last night with him came flooding back quickly when he parted his lips to deepen the kiss, but she didn’t want that quite yet, just needed a moment to process this. The simple comfort of being held by him, kissed by him, was more than enough for now. He’d been waiting for this, she could assume in the way that he responded, pulling her impossibly close so she was engulfed in him.

Her stomach flipped, a warmth blossoming in her chest as he pulled away, their foreheads touching. “Oh, I missed you,” she sighed, shivering as his beard tickled her neck, his mouth on her sensitive skin.

“And I, you,” he murmured. His eyes studied her, carefully, up close, and for the first time since meeting him, she really let him see her, teary-eyed and vulnerable.

She would never let him go again.

---

A/N: So here we are! I know it’s been a ride, but I’m really excited for these two. However, I don’t feel like I’m done writing for Zemo yet. If ya’ll have any headcanons, thoughts, questions, requests, etc, feel free to drop them in my ask box or shoot me a DM. I’d love to talk more about him. I also would be down to write more oneshots based around this series, because I am sort of like….okay, they obviously have a connection, but they don’t know that much about each other, and I may or may not have a light future already mapped out for them. I might do an epilogue at some point even. But if you have anything you’d like to add, let me know!

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musingsofsaturn · 4 years ago

Text

Just Imzadi Things™

Fandom: Star Trek The Next Generation

Ship: The Enterprise Will Riker/Deanna Troi (no I’m not going to stop making that joke)

Rating: T because adult themes are lightly suggested. There are also mentions of death.

Words: 2,100+

Summary: Five things that become perfectly normal when you share a telepathic bond with someone you’re pretending not to be in love with.

Author’s Note: Okay so I read this post from trekkingamongststars and loved the implications of them anticipating each other’s needs and just... the accidental intimacy of their bond? So I was thinking about all the lovely little ‘I’m in love with you but trying not to be because I value our friendship’ things that probably happened as Deanna and Will reconnected. Anyways I am just so soft for these two so I hope you enjoy this fluffy little collection of Just Imzadi Things™.

~ Saturn

O N E

Betazed was a warm planet. Its climate was almost tropical, and the air was often thick with hot humidity that nurtured the vibrant plants of the gardens and natural spaces of the planet. Deanna loved the sensation of sunshine on her skin, enveloping her in comforting warmth. She’d grown up with it, and a sunny day would always remind her of home.

In contrast, the Enterprise was a decidedly chilly starship. With so many people from all different cultures and climates, she understood that the temperature on board had to suit the average comfort level of the crew, but Deanna still sometimes wished that that average level was just a few degrees higher.

Fortunately, she was able to adjust the temperature in her own quarters. It was kept high, and she loved the flood of warmth that escaped when she opened the door and stepped into her private space, where she was free to suit herself and be properly comfortable.

The first few times she’d been in Will’s quarters, the rooms had been the same temperature as the rest of the ship. And why wouldn’t they be? He was familiar with Alaskan winters. He hardly needed the level of warmth she did in order to be comfortable.

But as she started to visit more often, and as their telepathic connection strengthened, the temperature in his quarters had started to increase over time. She knew why; he’d commented on how warm her rooms were the first time he stepped inside, and had begun to pick up on her mild discomfort at how cold the rest of the ship felt. Whether that was telepathy, or just him reading her body language, she couldn’t be certain.

What she could be certain of though, was that Will was gradually raising the temperature in his quarters, even if she wasn’t there to appreciate it. Over a series of weeks, so he himself could acclimatise to it, he’d successfully adapted his own living space to suit her needs and make her comfortable.

That thought made her feel warmer than any Betazoid sun ever could.

T W O

The first time Deanna brought Will some food without asking, he hadn’t even realised that he was hungry.

He’d been writing reports and reviews for an hour that had slipped into two, then four, until he didn’t even recognise that time was passing. The chime of his door pulled his mind away from his work abruptly, and his voice was hoarse from lack of use when he invited the guest inside.

Deanna entered tentatively, carrying a bowl of something that smelled fantastic. “I brought you some soup. You need to eat.”

“That’s very kind but I’m not hung-” The statement was interrupted by a ravenous growl from his stomach as she placed the bowl in front of him on the desk, pushing the PADD to one side as she did. She smiled knowingly at him as he quietly said, “Thank you.” He tucked in.

After that, it became a regular occurence between them.

It wasn’t a conscious thought; they never asked the other to bring them food like a waiter. Sometimes, like the first time, they didn’t anticipate that it was needed at all.

But they could sense the subtle need for sustinence within each other. Will knew exactly when to turn up at her office with a chocolate mousse when she’d had a difficult appointment. Deanna seemed to arrive on the Bridge with perfect timing to deliver a coffee when she could sense his focus wavering. And once, they’d met in the corridor on the way to each other’s quarters, carrying food that they hadn’t wanted to eat alone when they knew the other would benefit from some company.

More than the food, it sustained them both to know that the other was thinking about them. To know that their needs were recognised and that someone cared about relieving them, that was the kind of nourishment that would last a lifetime.

T H R E E

Starfleet officers are trained to accept that they and their colleagues are at risk while serving. Everyone aboard the Enterprise has a tale of losing someone in the line of duty, whether they be a friend, family member, or lover.

For more senior officers, they even accept that their decisions and orders could be the reason that someone dies. It is a great burden and responsibility, and it takes its toll more than anyone ever seemed to admit.

In front of others, she accepted his cool and collected demeanour with regards to a recent mission. No one could have anticipated that there was an explosive device from a long-ended war still buried at the entrance to a small cave. And Will never could have predicted that ordering a member of his away team to quickly investigate that cave would have caused an explosion that knocked them to the floor and killed the young ensign instantly.

A young Bajoran, the ensign had only been assigned to the Enterprise that week. She had just begun to form friendships, and had shown that was a friendly and compassionate member of the crew. Will had sensed that, with experience, she would have climbed through the ranks of Starfleet. She had a promising career ahead of her.

Had.

The whole time he was discussing the incident with the captain, he maintained his composure. He filed the necessary reports, wrote a sincere statement to the ensign’s family, and later returned to the surface to continue their investigation of the area. To the outer world, he seemed measured; not uncaring and detached, but not emotional and defeated either. He was the model of a First Officer coping with a hard situation.

Deanna recognised his inner turmoil, however. She could sense his guilt, the feeling that he should have been the one to die, not the one who gave the order that snuffed out the woman’s life when she’d barely had chance to live it. She could tell that he was reeling from the terror of being caught on the outskirts of the blast, and the horror of realising that a member of his team hadn’t survived. There was an aching sadness in him; the knowledge that a loving family was about to learn that their daughter wasn’t coming home weighed heavily in his mind.

Later, when his shift had ended and he finally had a chance to return to his quarters and retreat into his thoughts, he barely got through the door before the weight of the day slumped his shoulders and made his large frame seem to collapse in on itself.

But Deanna was waiting for him. Her inky eyes met his as he started to cry, and he knew that she was the only person in the galaxy who could understand how he felt in that moment.

Wordlessly, she wrapped her arms around his body, pressing as much of herself into him as she could. The pressure was good, reassuring, and he returned her embrace with shaking limbs.

His face burrowed into her shoulder as sobs racked through him. She didn’t say a word - there were none that would help anyway. Instead, she continued to hold him close, permitted him to be vulnerable and exposed without any judgement or expectation.

There was nothing she could do to relieve him of his grief, but standing in her embrace, crying like a small child for the first time in years, Will felt the closest thing to peace that he’d experienced that day.

F O U R

Deanna awoke with a start.

It wasn’t the first time she had suffered from a nightmare, and it wouldn’t be the last. Gasping for air, she sat up and ran her hands through her hair. The images that had haunted her were already slipping away.

In the dark, she fumbled towards the replicator and quietly got herself a glass of water. Her heart was still racing slightly, adrenaline coursing through her veins, but it had only been a dream and she knew she would be alright.

After finishing her water with slow sips, she went back to bed. She felt calmer, and knew she was tired, and it seemed liked the sensible thing to do. With a few deep breaths, she closed her eyes and tried to empty her mind of thoughts.

Almost an hour later, she was still awake.

She hadn’t been able to get herself comfortable - the material of her pillowcase seemed to scratch at her cheek, it seemed she had one too many limbs to arrange them in a way that suited her, and a sudden leg cramp in her calf had been the final straw.

Deanna didn’t really know why she chose to leave her own quarters, a robe wrapped over her nightgown for propriety’s sake. It was a short walk to Will’s quarters, and it seemed as though no time had passed at all before she arrived at his door.

Hesitating, she almost turned to return to her own rooms. Will was definitely sleeping, and she felt guilty about waking him. Not to mention it seemed so pathetic to go crawling to him because she couldn’t sleep after a bad dream.

However, in the instant that she decided to leave, the door opened for her. She hadn’t pressed to ring for permission, hadn’t overrided any security systems, and there was no way Will had known she was there and just opened the door to let her in and stop her dithering.

No, he had programmed it to open automatically for her, just as it would for him.

Touched at this unexpected display of trust and familiarity, Deanna stepped into his quarters. She made her way to his bedroom, and quietly climbed in to lay beside him.

He didn’t wake up as her arm wrapped over his chest and she snuggled into his back, seeking warmth. Deanna was lulled to sleep at last by his soft breaths, and the knowledge that she was safe and welcome here.

F I V E

As the pair of them strengthened their Imzadi bond, it seemed that their feelings throughout the day had become shared.

Will would be sat on the Bridge and feel a sudden rush of satisfaction. He smiled to himself every time he realised where it had come from. He knew that Deanna had had a long day full of appointments with members of the crew, and she had decided to treat herself to a chocolatey dessert. That satisfied burst he felt had been her tasting the first bite of a sundae or piece of cake, perfectly balanced with chocolate, cream, and fudge.

Deanna discovered that watching Will play poker was almost as entertaining as playing herself. When she had folded her hand, and it no longer mattered if she used her empathic abilities, she loved to zone in on Will’s feelings, and he opened his mind to hers when she was no longer playing. In many ways, she became his ‘tell’, as she had to work hard not to grin when she experienced a rush of mischevious energy when he bluffed, which was only amplified when the bluff worked.

Will came to recognise how the people Deanna interacted with could affect her mood. He knew when she was with Beverly, because he could physically feel her mind relaxing over their telepathic link. He also knew when the two were engaging in salacious gossip, as a feeling of giddy curiosity came over her as Beverly disclosed various secrets. The Imzadi bond between Will and Deanna made it so he knew exactly who she liked and disliked, and to what extent. And he once learned just how strong that bond could be when Lwaxana Troi made a comment that was so intensely irritating to Deanna that it made Will’s eyes roll without warning from four miles away.

Deanna learned that she could always get an honest opinion on her outfits, whether Will knew he was sharing it or not. She never minded the flood of attraction that leapt from his mind to hers when he saw her in some of her more flattering dresses. People can’t control their natural impulses of attraction like that, and she had learned not to read into it. However, she knew that Will would be embarrassed if she ever acknowledged his more lustful feelings, so she politely pretended not to pick up on those feelings when they arose.

Will spent years being convinced that he was learning to empathically block his more erotic feelings from reaching her mind. Since she never even flinched when his feelings became far more than friendly when she walked into a room in a certain blue dress, he was certain that he could appreciate her beauty and his own fantasies without it reaching her.

It was only when he arrived at her quarters in a particularly revealing v-neck wrap one evening and she wasn’t quick enough to mask the warmth of attraction that filled her mind (and by extension, his), that he realised just how much their telepathic bond had probably been betraying him all along.

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takonei · 4 years ago

Text

Beta AU - Main story, Chapter 5, deadly life (Part 5)

Note of the author: Guys, gals and pals following this story, chapter 5 is finally coming to an end.

Chapter 5: An oath to one’s lost humanity - Deadly life

...

He's...

He's dead.

Rantaro is dead.

Why was he still crying? Why was he still so afraid?

This was the fifth execution he was witnessing. Why did this one feel so different? So heartbreaking? So...

... Personal?

Shuichi couldn't discern what was in front of him, his vision blurred by the tears and the overwhelming dark thoughts his mind had been drowning him in for days.

Before he knew it, his knees gave out. He felt a few tears fall, letting his view clear enough for him to notice he was on the checkered floor of the courtroom.

The violinist couldn't hear anything that was happening next to him. Were any of them crying? Wailing? Holding each other into their arms?

So much he couldn't focus on.

"He... Rantaro..."

Shuichi didn't even realize he was saying this out loud.

His view slowly became hazy again due to the non-ending tears flowing on his cheeks.

The sound of his heart racing was loudly echoing in his head.

But the devastating thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a heartwrenching cry.

Miu dropped to the ground as she screamed her lungs out, wailing the loss of the one they had all trusted. The one who became a role model for her and helped her become the person she was now.

The one she had cared so much about, even more than the rest of them.

Although Shuichi could not pay full attention to it, Kaito and Kokichi went by her side to comfort her.

"Why? Why did it have to be this way?! Why didn't he trust us with this?! Why did he decide that carrying us without any sort of help was the right thing to do?! Why didn't he think he deserved our recognition for helping us?!"

"I don't understand..."

She sobbed, hands gripping her head.

"I don't... I don't understand anything at all..."

...

Shuichi was still frozen.

Why indeed?

Why did he deny their gratefulness for the actions he had done?

And of course, was still lingering the never-answered question he had asked himself so many times already...

... What was madness and what was reality?

The thin line that was so clear to him had been reduced to shreds over the trials, the deaths, and their suffering.

A crazy and unbelievable world they had learned to accept, and then was proven to be even crazier than they had all first thought.

...

He could feel Kirumi's tall figure next to him still staring at the black screen.

Shuichi barely heard the sound of her heels approaching him.

He couldn't even raise his head to look at her.

To his surprise, she set a knee down next to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "... Are you okay?"

A low voice that reeked repressed sorrow.

A simple question with a simple answer.

...

He doesn't know what took over him.

Before he realized what he was doing, the violinist had wrapped his arms around her, head buried in her chest. A grip stronger than he ever had on anyone in the entirety of this horrible game.

Was he so starved for comfort that his first reflex was to childishly clutch the person offering it?

What was he thinking? Why was he clinging to the trained killer who had the strength to throw him across the room?

Hadn't he had learned his lesson back then?

Had madness consumed him as well?

...

Kirumi didn't push him away, though.

After some time, she hesitantly placed her hands on his back, hugging him back without complaining.

He couldn't even find the courage to mutter a word. He could only cry his eyes out, shaking in her arms.

Shuichi didn't know how much time they would all spend mourning the slow death of their symbol of hope, in a wordless room filled with the sobbings and the cries of the ones fate had cursed.

Sixteen at the beginning, five alive as of now.

Eleven had perished under the despair of murderers and brutal executions.

He could only wonder why they were the ones still alive.

Why not Himiko? Korekiyo? Tsumugi? Keebo? Ryoma or Rantaro for that matter?

Shuichi kept crying. Life was unfair, and there was no one to blame but their captor.

Or captors, if what Rantaro said was true.

But right now, he couldn't bring himself to focus on theorizing about their situation.

The two were kept in this hug. He could feel Kirumi's rapid heartbeat in her chest. It felt so intimate, so private, and probably the most vulnerable he had ever seen her.

How could they even understand each other? They had lived completely opposite lives. Drastically different experiences that had forged them into the people they are now.

Although...

... The darkness surrounding them may be what was bringing those different worlds together, forcing them to coexist and cooperate to defeat a greater evil.

Worlds slowly decomposing as reality itself wasn't even trustworthy anymore.

Kirumi kept gently petting his back.

There was nothing around him anymore, just the tight embrace of the mercenary...

... And one, single tear falling on his head.

...

Shuichi doesn't know how much time passed before he regained a bit of consciousness and control over himself again.

And when he moved a little, Kirumi immediately gave him some space. She seemed to be at least a bit better now.

They didn't exchange words, and instead, silently helped each other to get back up.

He must be a mess, but at least Kirumi had the decency not to comment on that.

Monokuma was gone, surprisingly.

Miu was still sitting on the ground, looking at the void with eyes reddened by tears that had now dried.

Kaito and Kokichi seemed to have been trying to comfort each other as well.

The violinist swallowed before approaching the three.

"Are you... Okay?"

Kokichi glanced at the grieving Miu. "Hey... We should... We should get out of here."

He was right. This courtroom was only making matters worse.

The street artist rubbed her eyes and took Kaito's hand to get back up.

They looked around the courtroom, which seemed to have fewer lights on than before, like a store that had closed hours ago.

"Monokuma didn't even bother trying to make us leave..." Kokichi muttered.

"Not like he could have done anything." Kaito glanced at everyone. "We're all complete emotional messes."

There was a silence that lasted a few seconds.

Miu slowly started walking towards the exit.

"Let's just leave."

The ride in the elevator was quiet, and Shuichi was somehow grateful the machine kept emitting its loud mechanical noise. At least he could focus on something other than the dark thoughts in his mind.

They stepped outside the shrine. The sun had long gone down by now.

The five last survivors walked back to the dorms, each to their respective rooms.

What was going to happen next?

Would this game even continue? Rantaro might have failed and gotten executed, but he might be right, at least to an extent.

According to him, they could not trust anything they knew. Not themselves, their memories nor their pasts.

But also that this game was now completely devoid of sense and rules. What sort of motive would even incite them to kill anymore?

He could only hope the bear would indeed get bored and stop this massacre once and for all.

...

He closed his dorm room door behind him and fell onto his bed.

He didn't feel like sleeping, but didn't feel like staying awake either.

Shuichi stared at the other side of his room, not even bothering to put on proper clothes to sleep.

...

*knock* *knock*

He was suddenly taken out of this half-sleeping state when someone tapped on his door.

They could have used the doorbell, but Shuichi guessed they didn't want to make too much noise.

"I'm coming..."

The violinist slowly got up from his bed and opened the door. And here was standing...

Kirumi.

"W-What are you doing here?" he mumbled, rubbing his eye.

She was still in her uniform, and had visibly not tried to rest like he did.

"There's something important I need to address. I'll be waiting for you in the courtyard."

She immediately closed the door and left.

"W-Wait!"

Too late.

What was that about?

He went to the bathroom to splash water on his face.

Shuichi stared at the mirror, but somehow, this reflection didn't feel like his.

"The person you all loved and cherished, Rantaro Amami, the ultimate medic... Never existed."

...

Was he real? Was he nothing but a pale copy of another person?

Could he even call himself Shuichi Saihara anymore?

He could only try to imagine what was on Rantaro's mind all this time.

The violinist shook his head.

Not now.

He put on his shoes and left for the courtyard.

Just as she said, Kirumi was here, alone.

"U-Um... What did you want to talk about?"

"I'll wait until everyone gets here."

Everyone? What was important enough for her to call them here?

He could only wait and see.

None were in the mood for small talk, and that was perfectly fine.

The three other survivors came one by one, Miu being the last to arrive.

They all looked like they had tried to sleep, but were either kept awake by the terror and sorrow they were all feeling, or were waken up by Kirumi herself.

"So? What's the deal?" Kaito asked.

Kirumi crossed her arms, not glancing at anyone in particular. "I wanted to tell this to all of you immediately, but considering your current states, I preferred to let you take a break from this... 'Trial', if we can even call it that way."

Fair enough. But... What was it that couldn't wait until tomorrow?

"I've had this feeling ever since the execution. But to investigate alone would have been selfish and stupid on my part."

The mercenary raised her hand, palm facing them. She tightly gripped her sleeve. "You see..."

She pulled it down, revealing what looked like a strange electronic pin planted in her arm, a tiny smudge of dried blood where the needle was entering her skin.

"... I have a feeling that this case is not over yet."

Shuichi's eyes widened, both in horror and shock.

"W-What the hell is this?!" Kaito yelled. "Why the fuck do you have that in your arm?!"

The violinist could tell this was new. After all, he had seen her bare arms twice before, and she sure as hell didn't have that.

"I'm fairly certain Rantaro is the one who planted it on me."

Miu visibly perked up at the mention of his name. "What does Rantaro have to do with this?!"

"Remember when I grabbed him by the collar earlier?"

Shuichi winced. This moment wasn't the most joyful and pleasant to think about.

"I believe he planted this when he put his hand on my wrist. I didn't think that much of it at the time, but I could feel something in my arm ever since then. And I doubt he would have done this for no reason at all, and more importantly discreetly enough for Monokuma not to notice, or at least comment on that."

What... What else did Rantaro plan for this case?

"B-But..." Kokichi stuttered. "That must have hurt... How didn't you notice him planting it in your arm? I mean... You said you 'believe', like you are not sure..."

Kirumi froze.

...

Her condition.

They still didn't know.

She sighed. "I guess I had to reveal it someday."

"I don't feel physical pain. I never did. Rantaro knew that already, and I believe he took advantage of this to transfer one final message he couldn't allow Monokuma to take away from us."

"YOU WHAT?" Kaito yelled.

Shuichi looked at him. "She's telling the truth... I've seen it for myself."

"Hold on, when??" Miu frowned.

"Uh-

"Now isn't the time." Kirumi interrupted the discussion. "Rantaro must have given me this piece of evidence so we would have one step ahead of Monokuma. If we don't use it carefully, we will waste it."

Shuichi nodded as she watched her putting her sleeve back in place, not bothering to take out the pin. But perhaps it was safer this way.

"I've been thinking about it since the end of the trial, and there is only one place this could be useful in. Follow me."

They glanced at each other, but followed Kirumi without questioning. She must be staying silent so Monokuma wouldn't try to ruin their final investigation on this case.

The group climbed up the stairs of the main building one by one, and she stopped...

... In front of Ryoma's research lab.

This was where the two had prepared their plan without the cameras watching them. And if Rantaro didn't want Monokuma to investigate before them, then it must be the right place.

Once in the lab and after locking the door behind them, they decided to look through everything to find a hint.

But something caught everyone's attention quite quickly.

The locks on the boxes.

They let Kirumi climb there to see if this was indeed the answer.

...

"I believe this has something to do with the boxes, but not this one. However, I do have a theory."

She climbed down and showed them the pin.

On the part that had been outside of her arm was a tiny blue square with several black dots and one single white dot.

"The pin is the key, but it opens only one lock, I think."

Kokichi tried to get a closer look. "Oh! Like the square may be a map of all the boxes and the white dot is the correct one!"

"That could be it."

After figuring out how the map worked, they let Kirumi climb on the box supposedly noted white.

*click!*

The sound of the box being unlocked was loud enough for Shuichi to hear.

"Bingo."

Kirumi climbed inside the box and after a few minutes, she went out.

And in her hand was...

... A camera with one of the anti-electronic bomb magnets on it.

"What is this?" Kokichi asked.

"I mean it's a camera, but... Do you think something important is in here?" Kaito asked.

Kirumi stared at the object. "I have a very bad feeling about this."

But they didn't have a choice. This was the very last hint Rantaro had given them.

And Rantaro's plans, as insane as they were, were able to catch Monokuma by surprise, even by failing.

Was he still helping them from the grave?

The group sat down as Kirumi put the camera in place so everyone could see.

"... Here goes nothing."

She turned the device on.

Two videos were saved. The first recorded video was a minute long and the second was about seven minutes long.

"Perhaps we should watch them by order of recording?" Miu suggested. "I don't know... It's just my guess..."

She seemed to have gained a bit of energy back. Enough to investigate on the legacy Rantaro had left behind.

"First video it is." the mercenary selected it and pressed the play button.

...

The video started. It was Ryoma's lab- they could recognize the boxes and the signature lighting. It looked like the camera was positioned to film the entrance.

The gadget didn't seem to have been activated by anyone, yet was somehow recording.

But before they could wonder how, someone appeared on the screen.

Ryoma.

"So? Everything is in place?"

Shuichi jumped at the voice of Rantaro.

The medic appeared on the screen with a hacking gun in his hand.

"It's filming. Be careful, we only have one shot."

"I know that already."

Rantaro positioned himself behind the door, and Ryoma disappeared from the field of view right after taking out his own hacking gun.

The medic stared at where Ryoma supposedly was and nodded.

"MONODAM! WE HAVE A QUESTION ABOUT THE RULES!!"

Rantaro yelled probably louder than necessary.

He tightly gripped the gun, finger on the trigger.

...

The door suddenly opened and Monodam walked in.

A beeping was heard- supposedly the electronic bomb.

The two jumped out of their hiding spots, Rantaro kicking the door to close it.

And to everyone's surprise, both had pulled the triggers.

However, something made Shuichi's heart stop.

Rantaro's shot missed, going past Ryoma. And the latter's shot was the one to take the robot down.

Ryoma fired a couple more times as Rantaro nonchalantly walked towards the now dead mascot, not even bothering to help.

"... He's deactivated. We're good."

Ryoma looked up to his partner. "Could you have at least tried to shoot a bit further away from my face?"

"Sorry. At least we're good now, right?"

"Yeah."

...

So many questions ran through Shuichi's head.

Rantaro shrugged. "But hey, the first part is over. I'll let you take care of Monodam while I get to see how Monokuma is going to ruin the exisal hangar assault. I'll report everything to you later on."

"Got it, boss."

Ryoma took out what looked like a remote and then...

...

... The video brutally ended.

Rantaro... missed? And more importantly, on purpose?!

Which meant...

Monokuma was wrong. Rantaro was not the culprit of this so-called case.

But... Why didn't he say anything?

Why did he let himself get executed?!

The camera was here with the proof!! Why didn't he defend himself?!

The others were also under the shock of this revelation.

"Rantaro... Didn't do anything...?" Kokichi shakily mumbled.

"Monokuma... You..." Miu muttered. She suddenly slammed the nearby box with her fist. "You fucking bastard!! This was someone innocent you executed!!"

Innocent...

Somehow a part of Shuichi hoped he was indeed the one who killed Ryoma. To think there was a possibility he was executed for nothing...

He didn't even want to think about it.

The little game the judge and the condemned were playing had deadly stakes that meant nothing to either of them.

Now that Monokuma was gone from their group and Rantaro was dead, they could only try to put the final puzzle pieces of this miserable trial together.

Their motives and the rules, the lies and the truth.

Shuichi thought he knew Rantaro by now, but...

Whoever was with them during the trial and on the video felt like a total stranger.

...

"There is a second video. And I have a feeling this will be somehow worse." Kirumi broke the silence, narrowing her eyes at the tiny screen.

They had all realized Monokuma's mistake, and their mistake as well.

But whatever the second video showed couldn't change the truth of the first.

Rantaro was executed either for the wrong reasons or for absolutely nothing.

"Are you guys ready?" Kaito asked.

They exchanged glances and nodded.

Kirumi selected the video and pressed play.

...

The camera moved slightly as if it was being adjusted.

But on the screen was a scene that immediately made Shuichi stiffen.

A rope. A chair. A white neon light.

This video was about Ryoma's death.

The camera in place, Rantaro moved in front of the lens, checking if everything worked.

"It's recording."

"Good."

Ryoma appeared on the screen.

The two walked towards the chair and rope. Ryoma climbed on the seat and placed the noose around his neck.

...

"So this is it, huh?" Rantaro said. "This is where your story ends."

Ryoma shrugged. "You know it doesn't. Not now, at least."

"Yes, yes, I know. But you're about to die, Ryoma."

...

"... I'm doing this for you guys. You better win, alright?"

"Don't worry. We will."

There was a long silence between the two.

"... So? Shall we proceed?" Ryoma asked.

"Of course."

Rantaro rummaged through one of his inner pockets and took out...

... A small bottle filled with transparent liquid, exactly the one he had tried to drink during his execution.

He handed it to Ryoma.

"Thanks."

The weapons maker opened the cap.

"What on earth did you mix for the smell to be that strong?"

"Do you want the full list?"

"I'll pass."

Ryoma approached the container to his lips, and...

... He drank the entire bottle.

Rantaro took back the empty container, putting it in his pocket.

"This tastes awful."

"Told you so."

Ryoma snickered. "You better win this trial, Rantaro Amami."

The medic didn't seem to react.

He watched as the other soldier seemed to feel nauseous, and not even ten seconds later, he collapsed.

Ryoma was dead.

Rantaro stared at the scene for about a minute.

He then proceeded to snatch the chair from under his feet.

The lifeless body swung for a moment, but stopped moving rather quickly.

This was the exact same horrifying scene they had all discovered earlier.

The medic approached the camera with the chair and sat down.

He stared at the lens, not a single emotion visible on his face.

(BGM)

"If you're watching this, then it means the plan was a success."

"This means that I was both executed and Monokuma failed at being a competent killing game host."

"You see, I spent days preparing this specific poison for the plan. A poison that could act in a matter of seconds and could not be identified through bloodshot eyes, vomited blood or anything else."

"After all, right now, the blood in Ryoma's body is still circulating enough to create the marks around his neck that will make you all think he hanged himself."

"So if everything goes according to plan, Monokuma will have marked his death as either hanging, suffocation, or strangulation."

"But in reality, his death was never related to the rope."

"And if I get executed, this means he would have done so for absolutely no valid reason at all. I didn't disrespect any rules, I didn't kill Monodam, and I didn't kill Ryoma. Which means..."

"... That I am completely innocent in the case of Ryoma Hoshi, the ultimate weapons maker."

"In other words, absolutely everything about this case is nothing but pure lies and inability to take care of a simple suicide. Cause of death wrong, rules broken, innocent executed for crimes they didn't commit..."

"Nothing but pure failure on Monokuma's part."

"You may wonder why I did this. Why we prepared this entire plan. Well..."

"Most of the reasons are what I told you after the trial. About destroying Monokuma's will to continue the game. But there are a few more reasons for my actions."

"Why did I let myself being executed? Why didn't I show the proof with the cameras? Well..."

"I didn't want to."

"I wanted Monokuma to go through his entire thought process only to realize he had been wrong all along and had broken the rules for absolutely no other reason than his incompetence."

He chuckled.

"Isn't that what he loves to do? To get our hopes up and make us fall into a greater despair?"

"So how about we turn the tables for once?"

"Monokuma, you thought you had managed to put an end to our plan, but that was never the case. You fell right into my trap because you always let us do whatever we wanted."

"You miscalculated everything about this."

"Ah, but you guys don't know what I'm talking about exactly."

"The cameras showed him that I was preparing a poison. But this poison was not to end my life on my own terms like he thought I would do in case the plan failed. It was for the plan itself."

"But you may ask, what exactly did I take out of my pocket later on during the execution? Well... If I even managed to do so? The answer is quite simple."

"It was plain water."

"Nothing but still water available in this lab. As stupid as this sounds, any transparent liquid could be mistaken for water and vice-versa. Quite convenient if you ask me."

"Anyway, there is another question that you probably asked yourselves at some point."

"Why wasn't *I* the victim of this case?"

"You see..."

"I was supposed to. I was the one who volunteered to be the victim."

"However, Ryoma didn't let me. He wanted me to live no matter what. And that's when I got a better idea."

"To manipulate Monokuma into killing me."

"Of course, I omitted a lot of details when I explained the plan to Ryoma, or else he wouldn't have accepted to help me in this. I told him I would show the videos after Monokuma votes me guilty, but being executed was my intention since the very beginning."

"Now does that mean Ryoma's death was useless? Absolutely not. This plan wouldn't have been a success without his sacrifice."

"I do wish he didn't have to die this way, but the end justifies the means, as they all say."

"Although, I'm getting off-topic here."

"..."

"Hey, mastermind."

"Do you see it now?"

"You failed, and I won."

"We both did this little game of play pretend for three weeks and you lost."

"Admit your defeat. There's no point in continuing because everyone has already realized by now how pathetic this shitshow really is."

"And even if you don't immediately give up, everything will end soon enough."

"..."

"... Well, I do have one last thing I want to say to you, asshole."

Rantaro smiled and raised the middle finger.

"Get fucked, mastermind."

...

Shuichi couldn't believe his eyes.

Rantaro... He had won.

He was exactly where he wanted to be.

In the afterlife after dying as a martyr.

Everything he supposedly felt was nothing but an act to manipulate Monokuma. Lies that had fooled them all, including the mastermind.

This meant that when the investigation had just started, now hours ago, when they looked at the information the bear had given them to investigate...

... The game was already over.

Shuichi couldn't even comprehend how insane this was.

Out of all the things Rantaro could have done to try to defeat Monokuma, this was the last thing he expected him to do... And yet he felt like he should have.

He could somehow hear the deranged laugh of the medic in the back of his head, mocking them all from the world of the dead.

Mocking Monokuma for his mistakes... And perhaps laughing at the absurdity of his own life too.

A man filled with illusory memories, perishing from a meaningless death.

There was not even a single bit of dignity left of him. His whole honor had been shattered to pieces by this killing game.

...

The violinist thought about the conversation they had in the morning.

"I won't be able to die in peace until I'm absolutely sure this game is over."

The way he smiled as he was dying, leaning against the bridge pole with nothing but ashes in his lungs and blood flowing out of his shoulder...

He died satisfied.

He died in peace, knowing his plan was a brilliant success.

An ending that was a tragedy to them, but a blessing to him.

Rantaro... He was really...

... A mastermind of his own.

"..."

"Rantaro, you filthy bastard."

"You actually won."

"I should have known what I was getting into when I made this decision back then."

"A move that I now realize cost me my place of 'ultimate mastermind', but a move I do not regret in the slightest."

"You were a wonderful adversary. I am glad I got to fight you in this nonsensical game, although there are a lot of things I do regret. And I do wish you were here for the final trial."

"..."

"I was wrong to underestimate you."

"This whole madness..."

"That's why you started the act, isn't it?"

"To make me lower my guard and think you were not as much of a threat as I thought you would be."

"At first I didn't believe your bullshit thanks to Kiyo. However, the more this game went on, the more I realized you were slowly drowning in your own despair."

"But I made the mistake of thinking you wouldn't be a worthy opponent in those conditions, and thus you managed to pull out a plan even greater than anything I've ever done in this game."

"Congratulations, Rantaro."

"I admit defeat."

"You're observing me from the afterlife, aren't you? In that case..."

"Watch."

"Consider this a promise, or a gift."

"I will finish what you started."

"I am going to put an end to all of this."

"..."

"Oh well..."

"You already made sure this game would end since the very beginning of your crazy plan, didn't you?"

#ndrv3 #danganronpa v3 #ndrv3 au #beta au #main story

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evabellasworld · 3 years ago

Text

Storm of the Republic

Chapter 19

AO3 Link | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19

——————————————————————————————

Summary: When Tup murdered General Tiplar during a battle, Anakin Skywalker and Captain Rex dispatched Ahsoka, Fives, and Yara to solve the mystery that was plaguing the Clone Army. Meanwhile, Senator Padme Amidala contacted Commander Fox, Commander Tori, Riyo Chuchi, and Dipper to help her continue investigating the death of Palpatine, suspecting that Dooku was behind the evil plot. But when Dooku send an ISB agent to stop them, the team had to race against time to search for the truth, which could alter the course of the galaxy.

————————————————————————————

Tapping her foot on the carpeted floor, Padmé bit her fingers as she was seated on the sofa, waiting for her guests to arrive. It was already half-past nine on her square clock and her friends hadn’t arrived yet. With the curfew in place, she presumed they were held back by the patrols.

According to Dooku, anyone who was out after half past seven would either be taken for questioning or executed on the spot. Just last week, a man was shot in the head for buying powdered milk for his baby daughter. In another case, a homeless person disappeared after they were found sleeping underneath the bridge.

It was necessary in order to maintain the peace on the planet, but Padmé felt it was unnecessary. Coruscant was doing fine when Palpatine was still alive. Sure, they were attacked by the Separatist before, but they rebuilt from the damage, except for the lower levels.

The people living in the lower levels were struggling to get fresh air, which contributed to the mortality rate and asthma rate among infants and children. Their waters were also laced with lead, and their houses weren’t built to sustain the damage they received from the upper-level, making them more vulnerable during the Battle of Coruscant.

Dooku had evacuated them out of the disaster area afterwards, but he never mentioned where they went, or what happened to them. Padmé assumed the worst, considering the Emperor is no stranger to cruelty and genocide. She could only hope the folks were surviving this new ordeal.

With a massive blackout, the candles were lit in every corner, including the dining table. Padmé could finally see the stars in the sky, but she felt trapped, like a bird in the cage. It’s only a matter of time before Agent Doherty stormed her apartment and arrested her on the spot for dissent against the government.

Before C-3P0 could check on her, she heard a knock on the door. I hope it’s them.

Padmé took a deep breath and answered the door, finding her longtime friend, Riyo Chuchi standing in front of her, along with Commander Fox, Commander Tori, and ARC Trooper Dipper.

“Hello, Padmé,” Riyo chirped, her arms widened. “It’s so nice to see you again.”

“Riyo, you actually came,” Padmé embraced. “I missed you so much.”

“I miss you too. I was so worried about you, especially since you’re stuck in this hellhole.”

“I know,” she held her hand. “I hope nothing bad happened to you all during this curfew.”

“No trouble at all, Senator,” Commander Fox assured. “We’ve received your message on base and we’re here to help you.”

“Commander Fox, it is an honour to see you again,” Threepio greeted him. “It’s weird not having you around.”

“It’s good to see you again, Goldie. Hope you’re holding up alright.”

“I’m fine, thanks you very much.”

“I’m glad to hear that, Commander,” Padmé shook his hand. “Also, you don’t have to be so formal with me. You can just call me Padmé instead.”

“Then it’s a pleasure to meet you, Padmé,” Tori spoke, smiling at the senator. “I’m Tori and this is my daughter, Frieda, and my best soldier, Dipper.”

Padmé let out a grin as she shook hands with the little girl. “Hello, Frieda. I love your dress. You look so pretty.”

“Thank you,” Frieda replied. “You are pretty too, like a princess.”

“You’re so cute. How old are you?”

“I’m five years old,” Frieda held up five fingers, making her ruffle her hair.

“She’s a clever child,” Padmé praised her, as she led them to the dining room, filled with platters of food on the tables, along with the candles in the middle.

The food she had prepared wasn’t war rations like the four of them were used to. Rather, there were platters of roasted potatoes, lamb shanks, buttered broccolis, and berry pavlova for dessert.

Tori’s eyes widened as her mouth watered at the sight of the luxurious meal. The last delicious thing she ever ate was mala chicken that Lira and Eva ordered from a restaurant downtown. Even then, she had never had this much food before.

“That’s a lot you cooked,” she commented, as she took a seat beside Dipper. “It’s scrumptious. I like it.”

“It’s not much,” shrugged Padmé, placing a baby chair next to Tori. “Besides, you came all the way to Coruscant, so I thought you needed some energy for tomorrow.”

“Thank you,” Dipper smiled at her. “That’s very thoughtful of you.”

“It’s the least I could do, Dipper. Say, I never met you before. Could you tell me a bit about yourself?”

Dipper scratched the back of his neck, looking up at the ceiling. “Well, I’m an ARC Trooper and I like to read books whenever I have time.”

“Really? What books do you read?”

“Oh, I always loved mystery and crime novels. Punishment and Crime is my absolute favourite.”

“I like that book too,” Padmé giggled. “It’s an absolute classic. By the way, I love your hair and your Big Dipper tattoo. I bet you were popular with the ladies.”

“Thank you, Padmé,” he accepted her compliment. “But I’m actually gay.”

“Oh, my apologies. I bet you were popular with the men out there.”

“Well, I wish.”

Fox chewed on his food as he listened to their conversations, reminding him when he was first assigned to Coruscant. But then he remembered why he was here. “As much as I don’t want to interrupt this lovely conversation, we need to discuss our mission.”

“Of course, Commander Fox,” Padmé cleared her throat, as she explained her plan to them. “I want you all to continue the investigation of Chancellor Palpatine’s murder. The Emperor announced to the Senate that he would be more transparent with the investigation, but whenever we demanded answers, he didn’t comment on that.”

“If he didn’t want to say anything, then he’s guilty,” said Riyo, slurping on her drink.

“Which is why I called you all here on Coruscant to help me investigate the Chancellor’s death. I learned from an ISB agent that the case files were kept in his penthouse.”

“Oh dear,” Fox expressed his disdain. “That sounds a lot like a trap.”

“I know, but the place is unguarded, with only sensors to keep away intruders.”

“That is suspicious,” Tori sided with Fox. “For all I know, the Imperials could wait for us when we get there, and that is the last thing we want.”

“I understand your doubts, and I’m aware how risky it is,” Padmé sighed. “But those files could help turn the tides of the war. If you want to defeat the Empire, then exposing the truth is the only way to win.”

Riyo stroked her chin, bobbing her head. “She has a point, Fox. If the entire galaxy learned who killed Palpatine, then we could get as much support as we need.”

Fox turned to Dipper, who was indulging in his dessert. “What about you, trooper? Do you think we should search for Palpatine’s murderer?”

The latter put down his fork as he pondered for a moment, before making up his mind. “We made it this far, so might as well help Padmé with the Chancellor’s death. Besides, I do like myself some mysteries in life.”

“Then I guess we’ve made our decision,” Padmé decided their fate.

“Alright then, we’ll help you with the mission,” Fox resigned to the final votes. “But as soon as we’re done, we’re getting you out of here. Understood?”

“Understood, Commander.”

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lena-in-a-red-dress · 5 years ago

Note

Hey :) Can I request a Lex vs Lena showdown with some drama and hurt/comfort? Also supercorp and if possible some big sister !Alex and Kelly thrown in the mix. Sorry if it's too vague!

Her plan never fully comes to fruition. It never does, Lena acknowledges. Not when her brother is involved. But with a gunshot wound in her side steadily oozing blood and her hand wrapped around a deadman’s switch, it looks like at least this will be the last of him.

The last of both of them.

“Don’t pretend you’re going to let go of that detonator,” Lex sneers from where he lays. He has his own pool of blood spreading around him, thanks to the fight that had ended with Lena’s rapier in his gut. “We both know you’re too weak.”

“Last time you doubted me, you ended up with a bullet in your chest.”

Her brother coughs wetly. “Proudest day of my life. My baby sister finally growing a spine.” When he laughs, bloody spittle spatters against the tile floor. “Shame it didn’t stick.”

Lena knows he means her resolve, but her brain jumps to his death. She’d killed and the bastard had somehow crawled his way back not only to life, but to the same pedestal he’d fallen from years before.

“This time, I’ll make sure it does.”

“And take yourself out with me? Kamikaze isn’t your style. Never was. Too much good left to do, right? Always.”

Lena shakes her head, and moans when it sets the world to spinning. She slumps against the wall behind her, exhausted. She’s done. She knows it. She can feel it in the warmth of her own blood coating her chilling skin, in the empty room around her.

She gazes at the detonator in her grip, and feels her fingers start to relax.

“Not this time.”

Dying without anyone to mourn had always been a possibility for her future. She just never imagined it would feel this lonely.

“Lena, stop!”

The sharp shout snaps her back into focus-- her grip reflexively firms on the detonator, ensuring her death would last just a little bit longer.

She looks up to find Alex Danvers sprinting towards her with James’ sister on her heels. Kelly. A sob claws its way up Lena’s throat. They aren’t the faces Lena wants to see, but the sight of them still spreads a bloom of warmth in her empty chest.

Alex slides to her knees in front of her, only stopping when Lena finally has the presence of mind to pull away.

“Don’t come any closer,” she rasps, lifting the detonator in warning. “Don’t try and stop this Alex.”

“What are you even doing?” Alex beseeches. “Why didn’t you wait?”

“Wait for what? For him to get away? Or for the goons to come for me too?”

A shadow of doubt flickers behind the agent’s eyes. “Face it, Alex. If I’m arrested, I’ll be the only Luthor who stays in prison. We both know it. This is the only way to stop him.”

Alex shakes her head. “No. No it isn’t. You’re not a murderer.”

Lex laughs, low at first, then tumbling into a gasping guffaw. Alex ignores him.

“Lena, listen to me.”

A warm hand touches her knee.

“I know things have been rough. I can only imagine what it must feel like, to have your entire world turned upside down again and again. First your brother, and then Kara, and now Lex again--”

“You too. You lied too.”

“I did. And I’m sorry for that.”

Lena isn’t expecting the admission or the apology. They sit, heavy and sour, waiting for a response that Lena can’t provide. Her thoughts feel slow, and she knows it won’t be long until she doesn’t have a choice. None of them would.

“Go,” she croaks. “Only Luthors need to die today.”

“Bullshit.” Alex’s pleading sharpens into anger. “That is such bullshit. This isn’t some grand attempt to rid the world of your poison, or curse, or whatever the hell you’re calling it! You’re giving up!”

Huffing a laugh, Lena nods weakly. “Late to the party as ever.”

“I will not let you--”

“What else is there?”

“Everything! Jesus, Lena!”

Everything.

The idea forms bittersweet in Lena’s mind. She used to have it all. Everything she ever thought she wanted. Now… now she has no friends, no company, and no reputation, good or bad. She’s just… a name. A shell. No one in this reality knows her. No one cares to.

Mind wandering, Lena calmly observes that her entire life ended the day she shot Lex. She lost Kara. She put Lex in a position to reset reality. This… this would just be a formality.

“You have L-Corp, Lena. With Lex gone you’ll have full control-- you can rebuild everything--!”

“Just to lose it all again? No, thank you.”

Doesn’t she realize how hard it was to rebuild L-Corp the first time? To claw every success from the jaws of defeat, only to be knocked down again on the next pass? While she had found enough happiness in it at the time, it had been a neverending struggle. The idea of accepting that struggle again when true peace was so close at hand… It fills every inch of her, and she knows the darkness at the edges of her vision will soon swallow her completely.

She’s ready.

But Alex isn’t done.

“I lost my father,” Alex confesses. The urgency of before is gone, and suddenly it feels as though they are the only two in the room. “More times than I can count. I’ve grieved my sister’s death. I looked down the barrel of reality unraveling itself, and I still can’t imagine how you must feel right now. But I know... I know how inviting it is to just… let go.”

Lena struggles to lift her head, until a callused hand cups her cheek and helps tip her chin up to regard Alex gazing steadily back at her. Unwavering.

“All I’m asking is for you to let us help you let go,” that kind face says, “and keep going.”

The words don’t process in a way that makes sense to Lena’s dimming mind. All she knows is that the agent settles on the ground like she’s in for the long haul, and Kelly hovers unwilling to leave Alex. They’ll both die with her.

However willing she is to die, Lena knows she can’t bring the both of them with her.

She summons the final dregs of her energy to nod. When fingers reach for the detonator, it’s not to take it from her, but to wrap securely around Lena’s failing grip. Though it’s just her hand, the touch feels like an embrace, and when Lena blinks fat tears squeeze from her eyes to splash on numbed cheeks.

Behind Alex, Lex cackles roughly, lifting a detonator of his own.

“Like I said. Weak.”

He presses the button.

“ALEX!”

Kelly darts forward, Guardian’s shield expanding on her arm. Alex hunches over Lena’s fist, squeezing with all her might. Lena’s last thought as her vision fills with Kelly shielding all three of them under a shimmering blue forcefield is that she really should upgrade James’ gear.

---

Lena wakes to nothingness.

Ow.

Oh. Maybe not quite.

She pries open her eyes and squints at the medbay around her, registering the glass panes separating them from the rest of the building and the sleeping figure slumped in a visitor’s chair at the side of her bed.

Kara.

“For fuck’s sake.”

Supergirl bolts awake, eyes blinking blearily before focusing on Lena. “Lena--”

“Don’t.”

There’s a surprising bite to her tone, contrary to scrape it takes to get her voice to leave her throat. It stops Kara in her tracks, and she sits back as though Lena had smacked her hands away from reaching.

Huh. Looks like she might have a superpower of her own.

Guilt trips.

Lillian would be thrilled.

“I’m just… too tired to do this again.”

Kara’s gaze falls briefly, before returning to Lena’s gaze. “Do what?”

“This. All of it. I don’t-- I don’t want it.”

Oh, sure. Now her voice decides to wimp out.

She switches tacks, reaching for the first thing that came to mind. “Alex?”

Kara nods. “She’s fine. So’s Kelly. They were both discharged days ago. You would be too, except for the bullet in your side.”

So the gunshot wound is what kept her here in Kara’s reach. Great. She’d have to thank Lex for…

Alarm twinges in Lena’s chest.

“And Lex?”

A pause precedes Kara’s response, and in that interminable moment Lena’s mind races towards the worst.

“Dead. As far as we can tell. His remains were identified through his dental records, and DNA is pending, but…”

“Death doesn’t seem to stick, does it?”

“Only for those who deserve it least.”

Lena can hear the weight of lives in Kara’s words: lives lost, lives she still answered for, lives she would never forgive herself for losing. She’s sure Alex is one of them. Maybe even Kelly. Lena’s not so sure she does, anymore.

“Lena?”

Turning her head, Lena meets Kara’s tear-filled gaze.

“Alex, um… she mentioned some of what you said, in the bunker, and-- I just…”

Lena rolls her eyes back towards the ceiling. “Don’t flatter yourself, Supergirl. It’s been a long time coming.”

Silence follows, long and deep. Lena can almost imagine she’s alone, and then-- “That’s not what I meant.”

Oh, god. The tears are audible in Kara’s voice, and a lump rises to Lena’s own throat unbidden.

“I only meant to say-- I’m sorry you had to struggle with that alone.”

Shit.

“And that I’m here, whenever you want to talk.”

Lena wants to huff in derision, or roll her eyes again, but she doesn’t trust herself not to break down into tears. She’s spent so long being so angry that she stopped feeling anything altogether. And now all she can feel is sad-- for herself, for being unable to reciprocate any of the emotion Kara is exuding with every syllable. The tears in her eyes are sympathetic reflex, nothing more, but there’s no way in hell she’s going to give Supergirl the satisfaction--

“I’m not going anywhere.”

All Lena can do is let her fingers curl around the palm that settles in hers.

For now, it’s enough.

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javierpenaspinkshirt · 5 years ago

Text

Other Lives

Chapter two: Stay Close

Mando x OC

Warnings: Vague mentions of assault. Gross handsy boy in a bar. Icky formatting.

Words: 3.2k.

Summary: Mando finally agrees to let Tee acompany him on a bounty hunt. Who knew he was the protective sort?

A/N: the second chapter of the Other Lives series (title based on this song). Thanks for reading (and thank you for 500 follows)🖤

Chapter one: Deal

Chapter two: Stay Close

It had been four weeks since Tee had agreed to join Mando on a trial basis. They had travelled countless miles together in that time, getting to know each other as crew mates. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, Tee really liked the Mandalorian. She found him alluring, she was curious. He talked about himself and seemed to really enjoy a conversation while he sat in the pilot’s chair. But he had not yet allowed her to join him on a hunt for a bounty. The few he’d had since they met he had done solo, insisting she wasn't ready yet and should stay on the ship.

‘So where are we going now?’ she questioned.

‘Tattooine, desert planet, used to have a pod racing circuit but I don’t think they do that anymore’ Mando sighed a little.

‘Desert you say? So my speciality?’ Tee’s eyes glinted and Mando spun round to look at her in the co-pilot’s chair.

‘Tee..’ his voice warned.

She grinned at him and rubbed her hands together. He lowered his helmet and laughed.

‘I know what you’re going to say, Tee but it’s not safe’.

‘Come on!’ She whined, letting the syllables drag ‘it’s a desert planet! I’m a desert dweller! This is my moment, Mando! Let me come with you! Who’s the bounty?’

He sighed and relented a little, she had noticed he wasn’t all that good at saying no to her when she mock begged.

He handed her the bounty puck and showed her how to activate it.

The image of a Twi’lek flashed up.

Mando knelt next to Tee’s chair and read the instruction to her, ‘he’s an ex associate of the leader of the old Hutt Clan, he’s been on the planet since the fall of the Empire but he owes a lot of money to someone powerful, probably a protection racket he hasn’t paid, he’s a spoiled rich kid but he’s burned his bridges and lost all his friends, so we have to go get him’.

Tee spun round so she was staring Mando right in the visor, eyes wide, ‘we?’

He nodded, ‘we, but if I think the situation is getting hostile or it gets out of hand I want you out of there faster than you’ve ever moved before’.

Instinctively Tee leaned down and wrapped her arms around Mando’s neck and embraced him, mumbling her thanks into his shoulder.

He groaned in surprise before eventually bringing his right arm up to pat her shoulder.

She let him go but kept a hand on the cool metal of his left pauldron, her smile the brightest he had seen yet.

‘Captain Mando, I will not let you down’ she mimicked a military salute then launched herself from the chair and down to the hull to change her clothes and get ready for her first bounty hunt.

Mando stayed where he was, squatted on his haunches next to the co-pilot’s chair. A little taken a back at first, it had taken him awhile to realise that Tee wasn’t being deliberately touchy-feely, she was just a tactile person. Part of it, she had explained, stemmed from coming from a ‘cuddly family’, he remembered the way she sighed wistfully as she said it. She was used to showing affection through touch, something very new to the heavily armoured Mandalorian.

But he’d gotten quite used to it. He wasn’t ready to reciprocate just yet, it was still too new to him. But thankfully she didn’t seem to take offence, in fact it made her all the more ‘touchy’ as their friendship grew. He enjoyed the way she’d lay a hand on his shoulder as she spoke to him while he was piloting and he liked that she would pulled him into a vice-like embrace when she was excited or happy.

They hadn’t known each other long enough to have seen each other truly sad or angry, but two weeks ago a bounty had caught Mando with a blade and he had dragged the man back to the ship bleeding through his under shirt. Tee had watched as Mando froze the quarry in Carbonite and slumped against the wall of the hull, clutching his side and hissing at the pain.

It had thankfully only been a superficial wound and a bacta patch had fixed it in mere hours, but the way Tee had clung to his arm for the rest of the evening had sparked something in him. She’d fallen asleep in the co-pilot’s chair that night, not wanting him to be in the cockpit alone in case he needed anything. She lasted as long as she could but eventually she slipped into sleep and he had spun his chair to gaze at her.

He’d studied her soft features. Her eyes were closed but he knew they were deep brown, dark and sparkling like the legendary lakes of Endor. They held secrets he would hope to one day know and they were near impossible to say no to. Her skin was tan, smooth from years spent fighting against coarse sand and deceptively soft for someone who spent half their life underground and the other half in scorching sun. Her lips were slightly parted as she slept, that made him smile. He’d never spent this much time with someone who wasn’t also in full armour, not since he swore the creed anyway.

She was an education for him and he was an eager pupil.

He pulled his mind back and rose up off his haunches. He could hear her in the hull, humming as she clattered around, probably hunting for her boots. He knew she’d be awhile so he took the opportunity to remove his helmet.

He set it down gently on the control console and rubbed his eyes. He ran a gloved hand through his hair and blinked as his sight adjusted to the artificial light of the cockpit. He used to be able to walk around armour-free while travelling but he couldn’t risk that now Tee was with him.

She knew about the creed, she’d asked almost immediately once they’d set off from Jakku. He’d been very happy to indulge and told her all about his religion. He was proud of who he was, proud of his people. The pair had connected over the loss of family at the hands of the Empire. They’d shared stories of tragedy and defeat, the battle of Jakku, the purge of Mandalore. They were kindred spirits in so many ways. It was nice to have someone who understood him.

And crucially, she respected the way. Though she was tactile, she had never once over stepped his boundaries. She had accepted that he would not remove his helmet in front of her and she had simply smiled and repeated his mantra back to him – ‘This Is The Way’.

He liked her a lot and he would be sad if she did decide to go back to Jakku, but the sound of her singing and chatting to herself about her impending mission from the hull allowed him to hope that she would choose to stay.

His helmet back on and Tee’s boots found, Tattooine was in sight.

‘Are you sure about this?’ This was the sixth time Mando had asked.

Tee rolled her eyes and smirked at him, ‘yes I’m sure, I got this’.

Mando didn’t turn to look at her, just nodded as he focused on flying. They had dropped out of hyper space and were now only moments away from landing.

They docked at Mos Espa’s ship port and stood shoulder to shoulder as the door to the hull slowly dropped open. Tee stifled a smile as she felt the heat from Tattooine’s twin suns on her face, she loved the warmth. She resisted the urge to grab Mando’s hand and squeeze it in excitement and opted to keep it professional.

She was ready to stroll off the ship confidently, head held high when she felt his hand on her lower back. She snapped her neck up at him. He didn’t look down at her, just kept his eyes focused ahead.

‘Stay close to me’.

She nodded and they descended the ramp together.

It was hot in Mos Espa. Gloriously so. The sun on her face and the feeling of anticipation surging around her body had Tee feeling invincible. She was almost skipping, gliding along, focused on the job whilst simultaneously completely out of body.

Mando knew how she was feeling. The Adrenalin of his first hunt had caused him to make several mistakes. Of course he’d still caught his quarry, but he’d also sustained multiple injuries and the new knowledge that cockiness can get you killed. He’d learned the hard way, but he wasn’t going to let Tee suffer the same fate.

As they rounded the corner of a dusty street he grabbed her arm and pushed her up against the wall. Her eyes shot up to meet the visor, desperately searching for any kind of eye contact.

She got none but he spoke in a low and hushed tone, ‘you need to stick close to me, I mean it, Tee, you cannot be out of my line of sight, promise me’.

She nodded, eyes still searching for his, the excitement in her face fading.

‘We don’t know what we’re walking in to, it could be hostile, I need you to be ready for that alright? If it kicks off you get behind me and you do not let go of me’ he emphasised every word and Tee did her best to nod along convincingly. Mando was pushed up against her holding her arms by her side, she felt both threatened and protected all at once.

He let her go and stepped back, ‘let’s go’.

He lead her further down the crowded street, following the beeping and rapid blip of the bounty fob towards the cantina at the end of road. There was music floating from the windows and a spark of excitement was reignited in Tee as she saw the band playing through the window.

Mando held the door open for her and ushered her in, putting his hand on her lower back again.

The cantina was an assault on the senses. The band were loud but the sound of chatter was louder. The smell of alcohol was strong and the lights were almost fluorescent, they made Tee’s eyes sting. Mando guided her with his arm towards a booth. He sat her down then positioned himself in the one next to her. They were sat back to back in separate booths so as to appears as if they weren’t together, and sat just behind a pillar that would obscure them from view from most of the cantina floor.

Mando scanned the room and caught site of the Twi’lek bounty.

‘That’s him’ Mando motioned with his helmet, ‘he shouldn’t be too hard to get a hold of’.

The Twi’lek was twirling around, clearly inebriated, clapping and singing along to the band, barely holding himself up.

Mando stood up, ‘I won’t be long’.

Tee nodded and watched from her booth as the bounty hunter stalked confidently towards his prey, cape swaying and the Amban rifle very clearly displayed over his shoulder. This shouldn’t take long.

But as Tee watched on in awe Mando suddenly froze. Feet away from the still spinning Twi’lek, Mando had stopped dead.

Tee craned her neck and stifled a gasp as she realised that the gang sat at the booth near the Twi’lek were not just onlookers, but his companions. All of them had drawn blasters and had them hidden under the table they were crowded around, all pointed at Mando.

He carefully raised one hand and spun round to slowly walk back to Tee. He sat back down behind Tee with a loud sigh.

‘Turns out he’s still got friends’.

Tee laughed quietly and reached round the seats to squeeze Mando’s arm, ‘let me see what I can do’.

She got up before Mando could protest and made her way back to the wobbling Twi’lek. She wasn’t exactly dressed for dancing but she would do her best.

She began to sway to the music of the band and closed her eyes as she raised her hands up above her head, drawing the attention of all the gang members round the table.

A Mandalorian was an obvious enemy, head to toe in armour and weaponry, he would stand out in most situations and most certainly in a small town cantina. But a girl, twirling and spinning as if she was on her fourth spotchka could not be a more familiar sight in a bar.

No blasters were drawn but Tee could feel their eyes on her as she shimmied her hips and danced closer to the still moving bounty.

She bumped into him gently and fluttered her eyelashes at him, ‘hey, would you like to dance with me?’

The Twi’lek looked her up and down and flashed her a lascivious grin, ‘very much’.

He held out his hand for her and Tee took it, wrapping herself in his arms and throwing her head back in over-exaggerated laughter.

Mando stared from the other side of the cantina. If his jaw could have swung open it would have. He gripped the table edge so tight he thought he might snap it. He wasn’t sure what he was more upset about, Tee being able to sashay straight up to his bounty, or the fact that said bounty had his hands all over her.

She was giggling and running her hands over the Twi’lek’s shoulders making eyes at him as they swayed their hips to the beat. Mando gritted his teeth, but he couldn’t explain why.

Suddenly he watched her take the Twi’lek’s hand and motion to the back door. The bounty flashed that grin again and gladly followed her, motioning to his crew to stay put, he wouldn’t be long.

Mando stood up abruptly and left through the front door, he needed to find a way behind the cantina and fast.

The Twi’lek pushed Tee up against the wall with his full body weight against her. He began placing sloppy kisses up and down her neck, she could smell the alcohol on him.

'Hey, hey, slow down a little maybe?' Her request was met with a grunt.

Her mind skipped back to just half an hour ago when Mando had been the one pressed up against her, making her promise him that she would stay with him. She hoped he wouldn’t be angry that she’d blatantly disobeyed him. She also wished a little that it was him pushed up against her again.

‘What do you want from me, pretty girl? You want me to blow your mind right here against this wall?’ The Twi’lek’s words were slightly slurred and if anything turned Tee right off, but she obliged and giggled sweetly, praying that Mando had seen her leave.

He began to run his hands up Tee’s legs and push at the waistband of her trousers, despite her quiet protests, when a solid grip on his shoulder made the bounty leap. A heavy, leather clad hand clamped around the bounty’s mouth to prevent him from screaming as Mando pulled him off Tee and cuffed the squirming boy’s hands behind him.

Mando spun him round so he was facing the visor, ‘touch her again and I’ll cut off both of your arms’ he growled.

The Twi’lek whimpered but his drunk brain prevented him from attempting to escape.

‘You okay?’ Mando looked over the snivelling bounty at Tee.

She nodded and readjusted her belt, ‘lets go’.

Mando threw the Twi’lek over his shoulder in one fluid motion and the three of them ducked around the street corners as quickly as they could. Who knew how long it would be before the bounty’s friends began to worry.

The quarry began to cry as they arrived back at the ship port. Mando tossed Tee a pouch of credits before activating the ramp to the Razor Crest from his vambrace, ‘go pay for the dock, then come straight back’.

Tee nodded again as she watched him carry the now loudly sobbing bounty up into the depths of the hull. She had watched Mando carbon freeze a bounty a few times and if she was totally honest, it made her feel deeply uncomfortable. The horrifying expressions of the bounties was enough to turn her stomach, but not knowing whether they would be dead or alive when they were unfrozen was too much for her. She was grateful to Mando for not making her watch.

She paid the dock supervisor and slowly made her way back to the Crest. She couldn’t hear any crashing or screaming from inside so it was probably safe to board.

She tentatively made her way into the hull, deliberately avoiding looking towards the carbonite racks at the back. There was an eerie silence hanging in the hull knowing the weeping Twi'lek was now just a frozen lump of carbonite.

Tee closed the hull ramp and climbed up to the cockpit. Mando spun round in the pilot’s chair as soon as he heard her footsteps. He leant forward, elbows resting on his knees as Tee slumped down in her chair with a sigh.

‘You were amazing, Tee, quick thinking and so smooth!’ He was quick to praise and actually sounded impressed.

Tee let out an exhausted smile, ‘any excuse to break out my moves’ she leant forward and leant on her knees, her face close to his.

‘Are you okay, though?' Mando reached his hand out and cupped her cheek, gently rubbing his thumb in circles over her soft skin.

She closed her eyes and nodded, enjoying that he had learned that she found touch comforting, ‘I’m fine, actually that was quite good fun… well, the bit where you came and caught him anyway’.

Mando laughed then fell silent, his eyes raking over her body from behind the visor, remembering the way the Twi’lek’s filthy little hands snaked over her hips and across her shoulders. He didn’t deserve to be so close to Tee.

He sighed, 'Tee don't ever feel like you need to do something like that again, okay? I will never ever ask you to put yourself in harms way for a job, don't just brush this off as "this is how it is"' he made the quotation marks in the air with his fingers and earned a giggle from Tee.

‘Are you sure you’re okay?’ Mando’s voice was soft and laced with concern.

Tee nodded, ‘I’m fine. It’s not the first time someone has gotten too handsy, you get used to it working in an all male environment’.

Mando’s heart lurched at the idea of his co-pilot having to deal with that kind of behaviour all the time, horrified at the idea of her small frame being pushed around and touched without her permission. In that moment he decided he would do anything to protect her from that.

'I'm serious, Tee, never put yourself in bad situations for me, ever' he brought his hand back to her face and tucked a wayward strand of her behind her ear then gently cupped her chin to force her to look directly at him.

'I promise' she murmured it softly but it sounded sincere, 'but I knew I was safe, I knew you'd come and get me'.

‘I’ll always come and get you' his sentiment was so genuine he almost caught himself unaware, but her grin put him at ease, he hadn’t over stepped.

Mando sat back in his chair and let out a sigh, 'So I guess you’ve proven your skills as my assistant then’.

‘Assistant?’ Tee snorted also leaning back in her chair, legs crossed and arms out on the arm rests, 'I saved your ass on this one! If anything you were my assistant’.

She earned a proper laugh from Mando who had no choice but to admit that he had underestimated this one. Sure he would have still got the guy, but it probably would've wound up in a fire fight that required several days recovery on his part.

‘Next time we go on a hunt, I’ll be sure to have your back’ she winked at him playfully.

‘Next time?’ Mando laughed, ‘so you’re not going back to Jakku then?’

Tee smirked, ‘no one goes to Jakku on purpose, Mando’.

Tag list: @opheliaelysia @keeper0fthestars

#the mandalorian #the mandalorian x oc #mando #mando x oc #din djarin #din djarin x oc #the mandalorian fanfic #the mandalorian fanfiction #din djarin fanfiction #mando fanfic #oc #pedro pascal #other lives

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geraldineswriting · 5 years ago

Text

Lost Love

word count= 6.9k

warnings= angst, language & fluff

It was strange, because you didn’t know that you were even in love with him until you couldn’t touch him anymore. When you weren’t allowed to call him and tell him about your day or drive over to his house in the middle of the night due to a lack of sleep. Once there were no more kisses on the forehead or lazy arms around the waist, it was when you realized that you were totally and completely in love with Shawn Mendes.

It was a short but passionate filled relationship that made you feel like you just had the wind knocked out of you once it was over. He was kind when he gave you tight hugs every time you watched a sad movie, and he was generous when he always made sure to bring you coffee in the mornings that he visited you. He made you feel beautiful when he gave you longing looks in kitchen lighting, and he made you feel whole by zipping up your jackets before you went out into cold weather together.

You both knew that when your relationship had begun it was not going to last forever even if you both wished that it had. It was a love set with a timer waiting to go off at any moment and once it had, you fell apart. He was a rockstar with a deep passion for living life to the fullest while you were a writer that liked your world quiet and small. He couldn't understand your outlook on serenity while you couldn’t grasp his ideas on being the rebel. Some might believe that this could cause you both to balance each other out while others would say this was a recipe for destruction.

So as you stood in line with your now ex-lover’s new album in your hands, you felt your heart shaking around in its cage. You felt like you just lost this imaginary battle with yourself once you gave the cashier your card. You stared down at his face that was on the front of the record, being upset over the fact that he looked more gorgeous than ever.

“Excuse me, M’am! Hello?” the cashier asked.

“Oh I’m sorry, thank you.” you whispered quietly as you took your credit card back along with the plastic bag holding Shawn’s music inside. Usually you would be embarrassed by your actions but you forgave yourself due to the intense circumstances.

Through everything that you now had to do without Shawn, driving was one of the hardest. Everytime you would turn on music, which was now significantly less, you expected to hear his voice singing along with the song. You didn’t know what to do with your extra hand now since you were so used to having it in his before. It especially made you twitch whenever you would look over to the passenger side and see no one there.

Once you turned the key into your door, you remembered how Shawn never gave you your spare key back. There was a glimpse of hope in your chest thinking that maybe he would run into your apartment one day and make some big romantic gesture to win you back. Then you realize it’s been five months since the break up and Shawn had bigger things to do than be heartbroken about a simple ex-girlfriend, or holding on to her old house key for that matter.

You set down your things at the table, quickly peeling off the plastic of his shiny new record. You had thought a lot about this record, whether or not you wanted to listen to it, or touch it or even see it at all. Though once you were sitting on your living room floor, crying your eyes out over the fact that you wished you never left, you knew that the last option to find closure was to listen to his music.

Finding your record player in your hallway closet was hard for you since it was amid every other thing you had stuffed away that reminded you of Shawn. There were shirts and candles and even pillows that had been hidden away into the confined walls, because you chose to believe that if it was out of sight, it was out of mind. You knew that you should probably have thrown everything away all those months ago but letting go of his things meant that you were letting go of him which hurt just a little too much. It was hard when you had almost nothing left inside your apartment but it was better than constantly thinking about Shawn every time you stepped into a room.

You plugged the record player into the wall gently sliding the large black disk out of its cover. You knew that you could’ve just listened to the album on your phone but Shawn would’ve been disappointed to know you were listening to music that way. He always said that it was better on a record player because it showed the true rawness of the music. You hesitated to start playing the record but once you did, you knew there was no going back.

Shawn always had intense anxiety which also brought along panic attacks. He was usually good at controlling his anxious antics around you but he wasn’t so good at calming down once those antics got out of control. He always spoke about how he wished that he could spread awareness about his anxiety through a song one day, so with “In My Blood” he finally did.

It was four in the morning when you woke up to hearing the soft keys of the piano being played. Shawn told you he was going to come to bed within the hour but apparently he decided against it. You quickly walked out of his bedroom where you had fallen asleep, wearing only his t-shirt. Once you had reached his music room, you saw him sitting there with nothing but boxers on, playing the piano quietly but harshly. He was always gentle with his instruments, so it surprised you to see him playing with such persistence.

“Shawn,” you quietly whispered, walking over to rest your head on top of his. “Love, you should come to bed, it’s late.”

You kissed his temple while gently wrapping your arms around his neck. You expected an array of different responses to your request but none of them included him breaking down in tears. His head was looking down against the floor, his body shaking as a sob left his mouth. You were quick to jump around and sit in his lap, holding his head in your palms.

“It’s going to be okay. Shh, it’s all going to be alright Shawn.”

You didn’t know what was happening, only hoping that you could stop his tears with your reassuring words. He slowly wrapped his arms around your body, adjusting his face to lean into your neck.

“What if I’m not good enough? I keep trying to write a song but everything comes out as a mess.” His grip around you tightened as he spoke the heartbreaking words.

You kissed his bare shoulder, rubbing his back with one hand while the other was locked in his hair. You thought he was insane for thinking such a thing, since you knew that you could listen to his singing for the rest of your existence being fully content.

“I think that’s a part of the process sadly, but even then it’s all rewarding. You are going to end up with a beautiful song Shawn, I know it. You just have to keep doing your best, which you always do.” He gently pulled you back from his embrace, giving you a soft kiss on the corner of your mouth. “Let’s go to bed, you need some sleep.”

Before Shawn, you dated men who completely shattered your confidence in not only yourself but mankind. You were terrified to start a new relationship with someone but when you met Shawn, he was hard to resist. He was beautiful and kind, just as much as he was thoughtful and funny. Hanging out with him day after day eventually led to stolen kisses which led to a night where you broke the promise you had made yourself. He wrote “Fallin’ All In You” just about that occurrence.

Waking up on Shawn’s chest, wearing nothing but the blanket that covers you both was startling to say the least. You could feel his arms around your naked torso, and the bright sunshine warming your face through the windows. You felt this strange mix of comfort and relaxation while also feeling like sirens were going off inside your heart. You promised yourself you wouldn’t fall for him, let alone sleep with him. There was now a decision to be made about whether you would accept your defeat and bask in his love or leave before he woke up and pretend like nothing had ever happened.

God seemed to make the decision for you as Shawn pulled you closer to his chest, pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead.

“Goodmorning, sweetheart.” he whispered into your hair that you could only imagine was everywhere.

The urge to leave was starting to dissipate as the need to stay started to blossom. You could get used to forehead kisses and morning embraces.

“Wanna help me make us breakfast?” you spoke into his chest, hearing the rumble of laughter come from his chest, assuming he was nodding eagerly.

Yeah, you could definitely get used to this.

Once your relationship ended, you kept in contact with a few mutual friends between you and Shawn. You didn’t want to go out and see people because if you saw people then you would be reminded of him, someway, somehow. About a month after the night that ended it all, you finally met with one of these mutual friends for lunch, deciding it was time to try and finally socialize. That’s when you first heard about “Where Were You In The Morning”.

You felt so insecure walking into the outdoor mall all by yourself, feeling so hideous and uncomfortable. It had been a full month since the last time you put yourself into the public. Living off of postmates was a lot easier than expected, especially with you already working at home. You saw so many happy children and couples surrounding you, causing tears to build up in your eyes before you blinked them away. You saw your friend sitting at a table in the outdoor seating of your new favorite restaurant. You could no longer go to your old favorite because it was Shawn’s as well.

She gave you a tight hug when you sat down next to her. It felt good to be hugged with so much care and love, not having the chance to experience that since a month ago.

“So how are you? You look great (y/n).” She spoke with such a brightness in her voice, realizing that she truly did care about your well being.

“I’m not great. I miss him so much Myla.”

Tears slipped down your face, while you desperately tried to wipe them away.

“I know. Maybe I shouldn’t be telling you this but he’s actually writing a song about you right now.”

You didn’t know if you should have been surprised or not. It didn’t sound like Myla was, but maybe that’s just because she wasn’t trying to make you feel any worse.

“What’s it about?”

“He doesn’t know what he wants to call it yet, but it’s about how when he wakes up in the morning and you're not there.” She whispered the ending, afraid of your response.

There was only one response echoing off the walls in your mind in that moment.

“I really love him, so much.”

“Nervous” was about everything you and Shawn were when you first met. There was a small get together happening at a local cafe for Easter Sunday, where friends were invited to hang out and have a peaceful brunch. You were mostly excited because you knew Shawn would be there, even though you both were never officially introduced. You had been asking about him, and it seems that he had been asking about you too.

You felt rain dripping down almost every crevice of your body once you were finally seated in your chair at the long and decorated table. You were grateful to find that no one had showed up yet, so you had some time to dry off. That time was cut short when you looked up to find Shawn Mendes walking through the front door. You were envious of the umbrella he held in his hand, allowing him to look as gorgeous as ever. He smiled once his eyes met yours, making you suddenly feel really lucky to be in the same room as him.

He came over and sat in the chair next to you wearing his regular black jeans and loose white floral t-shirt. You wished you didn’t look so awful, especially since you liked how you looked before the rain and clouds.

“Hey, I don’t think we’ve officially met. I’m Shawn.” His voice was soft and delicate.

“I’m (y/n) and it’s nice to finally meet you. I would shake your hand but I’m kind of a mess.” You tried pulling your wet curls behind your ears to make yourself more presentable.

“But a beautiful one.”

And for the first time in a long time, you believed it.

You hated yelling but you hated it a lot more when Shawn was doing it. It had only been two months since you first started officially dating, but six months since you first met. It was late when he got home that night but nonetheless you were still upset. He missed your date, without even a text to let you know. “Like To Be You (feat. Julia Michaels)” reminded you of the many differences between you and Shawn, and how those differences affected your relationship.

“Why are you three hours late, Shawn?” you whispered when he walked through the door. “You missed our date.”

When he closed the door and turned back towards you, he felt awful. He thought you looked beautiful even with the tears streaming down your cheeks and the messy knots in your hair.

“I’m so sorry, (y/n). I’ll go change right now and we can go.” Shawn turned quickly to the bedroom door, being stopped by (y/n)’s words.

“Do you even know what time it is?” you stood up taking off your shoes and coat, putting your purse on the coffee table.

“Uh, no I haven’t really looked.” he felt his throat closing up with guilt and his hands shaking with worry.

“It's eleven o’clock Shawn. Let me guess, you were at the bar for the last few hours totally forgetting about our plans? Not realizing that maybe having a few drinks with the guys could be skipped just for one fucking night to be with me?” you spoke in an oddly calm voice, that caused goosebumps to rise on his skin.

“What the fuck are you talking about? (Y/n), For the past two weeks, I haven’t spent time with anyone besides you! Look, I’m sorry about our date and all but you being upset with me for hanging out with my friends is bullshit.” His tongue was sharp and his tone was harsh as his guilt washed away with irritation.

“I’m just saying that this is at the very beginning of our relationship and if you can’t stay committed to your word then what am I doing here? By the way, I’m allowed to be angry with you for hanging out with your friends when it interferes with plans that you made with me.”

You could see the burning in his eyes and the words that were being held in his throat. You knew that look, and it meant he was going to yell which was your least favorite thing for him to do. Shawn was always such a soft soul but when it came to arguments his words became careless.

“What are you doing here? If you have to be asking yourself what you're doing in a relationship then maybe you shouldn’t be there at all. We are obviously very different people who can’t seem to agree on much, but I thought we could at least agree on why we’re here.” He basically screamed at you from across the room while his face turned red with hate.

He was right, why were you here?

Traveling was your most favorite thing to do, especially when it was to a place you had never been before. Shawn had told you earlier in the month that he had to go to Europe for a week-long event, so you decided that would be the perfect time to go to Japan. Midway through the bliss filled week, Shawn called to tell you he missed you dearly and that he was on his way to your hotel. Shawn wrote “Lost In Japan” just about that one day.

You tried to find your phone somewhere in the mess of your suitcase as you heard the ringing. You were worried that it might have been Shawn and you were about to miss his call. You picked it up to see his icon picture pop up along with the green button you pressed. Your face turned into a huge smile while pressing the phone against your ear.

“Hi love! I’ve missed your voice.” You giggled happily into the device basically jumping around the hotel room once you heard his laugh.

“Well, I’m going to be at your hotel door in about an hour so you shouldn’t be missing me too much longer.”

You immediately started to clean around the hotel room making sure everything was back into its place. You already felt slightly insecure by Shawn’s wealth, so having him stay with you in not only a small but also dirty room was far from appealing.

“Really? I can’t wait! I’m in room 324 just so you know.”

“Okay sounds great. Love you and I’ll see you soon.” he chuckled, having an edge to his voice.

Shawn had been saying I love you for the past week and you haven’t said it back yet. You not only weren’t sure if you loved him but you were also terrified of fully committing to him. By saying the three worded phrase that meant you were finally being vulnerable with him. Never in the past had that worked out so who said it was going to now?

“Uh, yeah! Bye.” You quickly hung up throwing your phone on your now nicely made bed. You knew you were breaking his heart, but you couldn’t allow him to break yours.

Shawn wrote “Particular Taste” about the six months of totally being obsessed with you, trying to track down your every move. You may have never planned on dating Shawn but man, did you love the chase. You were great at teasing him, and running away at just the right times to have him crumpling down to his knees for your mercy. He was crazy about you and you both knew it.

It was almost three in the morning when you were at Shawn’s listening to the quiet noises of the radio, while Shawn’s head was in your lap. He loved the feeling of your fingers in his hair, continuously twirling the thick curls. You were surprised to hear the tiny little snores that escaped his mouth while he wrapped his arms around your waist, secretly loving how his hands went under your shirt.

You had been doing a good job at not getting too close to Shawn, but you were also scared that you were totally leading him on. His heart was delicate and open while yours was cold with a thick brick wall surrounding it. For some reason though, looking down at him in your lap with rosy cheeks and pink lips, you felt your cold heart melt.

His eyes blinked open, immediately staring up at you with a small smile gracing his face.

“Hi there,” you joked. “I think it’s time you get some actual sleep.”

“What are you talking about? Your lap is perfectly suitable for my sleepy antics.” he snuggled his nose into your stomach, only holding onto you tighter.

In the middle of the meaningless banter, you heard the radio starting to play your favorite Kanye West song. You jumped up without a thought, dancing around the room without a care in the world. You didn’t like dancing but you loved this song, having your eyes closed swinging your arms around in happiness. That’s what it was, you realized. You were finally content and happy in that small moment.

You opened your eyes to see Shawn leaning his head against the arm of the couch, staring at your movements. You saw that he actually looked pretty happy as well. You stopped dancing, your body stilling as you stared right back into his eyes. You knew the butterflies in your stomach were real, as were the beats in your chest.

“God, you’re perfect.” he told you.

When the news broke to your family that Shawn and you were over, they were heartbroken to say the least. They loved him, no, they worshiped him, especially your little sister who was only nine years old. Your Mom constantly asked if you had found someone new and your Dad endlessly pestered you about losing the one good guy in your life. You felt lost and broken, only wanting this nightmare to be over. The song “Because I Had You” showed that Shawn was going through a similar time in his life.

The suitcase by your side, messy hair and careless outfit should’ve shown that your life was a mess if the tears already didn’t. It seemed like all you did recently was cry about everything. You opened the door to your old home, the one where you grew up and became the person you were today. You saw your Mom and Dad sitting on the couch, relaxing together and watching the television.

Their stare averted to you, having sad smiles on their face seeing the state that you were in. You shared their smile while you walked up the stairs towards your bedroom that you now had to share with your little sister. Your parents had turned your old bedroom into a home office once you moved out for college, which at the time you thought would be a good thing until now.

No, now you had to face your little sister and tell her that you and Shawn were over. That she was never going to make cupcakes with him, or have him teach her the guitar again. She told you time after time, not to let him go. You really wish you had listened.

You pushed the door open seeing her cute self, sitting on her bed painting her nails. You tried to remember how adorable and happy she looked relaxing there, knowing that in five minutes tops her emotions would be the opposite.

“Hi Samantha! I missed you.” you jogged across the room, giving her a tighter hug than usual.

“(y/n), can I call Shawn? I really need to ask him about a song I’m trying to learn on the guitar.” she naively begged you, reaching for the phone in your hand.

“I’m sorry Sam but you can’t right now. I actually need to talk to you.”

What were you going to say? How could you break the news without shattering her world into a million pieces.

“Oh okay, what about?” she looked back down to her toenails, finishing up the second coat.

“I, uh, well, me and Shawn are no longer together. We broke up about a month and a half ago. I’m really sorry, I kn-”

“I can’t believe you! He was it for you, (y/n). He was the one and you ruined it because you’re just scared of commitment.” Her eyes were wide and wet, showing her emotions were wild.

“I know I ruined it Sam. There are plenty of things that I wish I could change but it’s over and done now. I’m so sorry but there’s nothing I can do.” You waited for some type of response but there were now only blank stares and a quiet silence.

“I’m just going to go warm up some food from downstairs, okay? When I come back maybe we can talk more about it, yeah?”

Sam nodded her head in response, now knowing that you just lost the one love that was something real to you.

When you and Shawn first kissed it was a moment that you hoped to never forget. It was just before you had first got together, while he was playing a song on the guitar for you. It was an old song from one of his past albums, when you had the pleasure of having a front row seat to a private Shawn Mendes concert. You had never heard him play live and it was a long time coming. “Why” reminded you of that day, the day that caused months of love and inevitable heartbreak.

You had never played the guitar before but you could only imagine Shawn was the best at it. His calloused fingers showed hard work and dedication while his voice showed beauty and talent. When you walked into his apartment and heard his guitar playing from his patio, you were excited to finally hear his music from him. You opened the glass door, closing it behind you as you sat down next to him. He turned his face towards you, just then realizing how close he was.

You looked out to his beautiful view of the city, feeling that crisp evening air brushing against your face. Goosebumps grazed your shoulders and legs, Shawn quickly taking notice of your shivering. He placed a nearby blanket over you, softly rubbing your arms trying to warm you up quicker.

“Can you play me something? I’ve never heard you sing in person.” you told him, wrapping the blanket around you tighter.

“I would love to, which song?”

“Any song.”

He softly started to pick the strings of the instrument, while you recognized your favorite song of his. “Three Empty Words” held a strong meaning in your heart, because of how every past relationship of yours ended in meaningless I love you's.

As the song continued, the more your chest tightened with want and need. You wanted to kiss Shawn so badly, even if it was the worst decision you could make. You needed to feel him or touch him in some way that would actually satisfy your desire.

Once he finished the song and put the guitar down, you grabbed his face in your hands pulling his lips to yours. His hands eagerly wrapped around your waist, pulling you into his lap. You never had tasted lips like his before. You never had been touched like this before. Hell, you’ve never felt like this before.

His tongue pressed against your closed lips, begging for entrance. You welcomed him in, pushing your hands up into his wild, untamed curls. It could’ve been the coldness dancing in the air or the bright Moon gleaming in the sky, but you swore you would have kissed him forever if God let you.

May 22, 2017 was a heartbreaking day for everyone, including you and Shawn. “Youth (feat. Khalid)” reminded you of the bombs and screams that went off on the television that evening. You were in shock seeing the people fleeing from the concert as the worst day of their lives was marked.

Shattered glass surrounded your feet, quiet pants of surprise whispered into the air and desperate wishes of hope was all you now knew. You were standing in the doorway of the living room, bringing Shawn his nicely requested water when you heard the television.

You had met Ariana once at a small party of Shawn’s but never did you expect her life to take such a drastic turn. Then again, these things can never be expected or planned for, but only wished to never be experienced.

Shawn jumped up after he heard the glass shatter, quickly walking to the kitchen to wipe up the mess before you hurt yourself. Somewhere in you, there was a sliver of hope in your chest that you would cut your foot open on the glass, since nothing could be compared to the pain each victim was feeling. You felt like every single thing you had ever cried over was ridiculous, because you should have been instead grateful that it at least wasn’t a terrorist attack.

Shawn bent down in front of you wiping away each chip of glass, trying to focus on the mess instead of the television. He wanted to scream and shout and even kill whoever was behind the awful occurrence. He wanted to hate the world.

“I hate whoever did that. I wish they were dead.” Shawn whispered at your feet, with a face of steel.

“Don’t let this turn you into a hateful person, love. You’re better than that.” You pressed your hands into his shoulders beneath you, hoping to release the building tension in his body.

“I wish I wasn’t.”

“Queen” was about a bright morning breakfast get together that was supposed to be fun and light but turned sad and upsetting. You were really excited to get out of the house and wear your new white dress, but it wouldn’t really matter anymore what you were wearing once you saw Shawn enter the room. You weren’t proud of how you acted that morning and obviously Shawn wasn’t either.

“Oh hi (y/n), you showed up! We didn’t think you could make it.” Your few friends said as you sat down, joining them at the table.

“I decided it would be good for me to get out of the house. So is everyone here?” your question caused some people to have a look of surprise and some to be in a state of anguish.

You didn’t understand what was so worrying to them all about your presence, well, not until you looked to the front door. There he was in all his glory, wearing your favorite black jeans but a shirt that you did not recognize. Your heart clenched to realize that you no longer knew what every shirt of his looked like, or shoe or accessory. His curls were longer than you remembered, and you noticed how his facial hair was actually visible for once.

You needed to leave because within ten seconds you knew there would be tears and with no rebound rate.

“I’m so sorry but I have to go. I-I’m so sorry.” you softly murmured, jumping off your chair, haphazardly throwing your purse over your shoulder.

The first tear fell when you started your way to the door. Quick footsteps seemed to be working, right until his hand wrapped around your forearm. Nope, this can’t happen. You refused to cry in public let alone in front of him. Even with these thoughts swimming in your mind, you decided to stupidly just stand there in front of him.

The second tear fell when you looked up into his eyes. Your chin was wobbling and your eyes were rapidly blinking.

“Hi.” he whispered to you with a soft tone but a straight face.

“Please let go. I can’t do this.” you begged him, basically ripping your arm out of his grip, stumbling out of the front door with not even so much as a goodbye.

Every other tear you had, fell once you reached your car, loud sobs leaving your mouth. You missed him so bad.

You and Shawn didn’t seem like you were meant for each other during the end. There were one too many fights, one too many lonely nights, but only one heartbreaking moment where you both knew this wasn’t going to work out. You may have each ignored that one significant moment but it happened and it infinitely rang in your head. “Perfectly Wrong” was that moment.

You were sitting on the couch and Shawn was sitting on his bed. Both of you were in separate rooms on opposite sides of the house but it still didn’t seem far enough. You wanted to hate him, loathe him, but you couldn’t. You knew that and he knew that. These fights weren’t new so neither were these feelings.

This was getting close to the end, not because you didn’t want to do it anymore but because there weren’t any glasses left in the cabinet to throw. There weren’t any shirts in the closet to rip or any more hearts to break. The only thing left to do was sleep.

You stood up and walked to the bedroom, opening up the door and shuffling to your side of the bed. The blanket may have been warm and welcoming but nothing compared to the urge you had to drop into Shawn’s chest and sleep. He looked over to you and nodded slightly. You slid over and laid your head on his chest soon welcoming the sobs from your throat.

“I’m so sorry.” You cried to him, as he kissed your forehead repeatedly.

“I’m sorry too. You know I love you right?”

“Yeah.”

Love was a difficult subject for you both, since he told you he loved you everyday and you have yet to say it once. You lied there in his arms, holding him like he was going to disappear any second. You then realized in that moment, he was going to leave and so were you. Maybe not tonight or tomorrow but soon. This relationship was burning down rapidly, so quick that you were worried you wouldn’t even get to say goodbye.

In the beginning of your burning romance with Shawn, you were having a hard time committing to him. No, not in the way of finding someone else, but in the way of accepting your feelings for the man. When he asked you out on a first date, you were nervous. To be honest, you were surprised there even was a first date, since it seemed like you were both official after the shared one night stand. He wasn’t completely confident that you felt the same way he did, and that’s how “Mutual” was born.

Come on (y/n), just open the door and walk in. It was your mantra at that moment, because on the other side of the restaurant door, Shawn was sitting at a table somewhere waiting for you. The idea of seeing Shawn was exhilarating, but the idea of fully putting yourself out there was nerve wracking.

You finally opened the thick brown door, immediately seeing him at a small table with a bouquet of white tulips, which were your favorites. He stood up when he saw you, giving you a small hug and a peck on the cheek.

He looked handsome in, of course his black jeans, and a white button down shirt. His hair was just the right amount of floppy and curly to look perfect. His eyes seemed brighter than usual, which brought a smile to your lips.

“You look beautiful.” Shawn told you, pulling out your chair for you.

“Thank you, you do too.”

He kind of just stared at you for a moment, getting lost in your beauty. He swore you were prettier than anyone he’s ever seen.

“Did you order already? The menu looks delicious.” you asked, while looking down at the list of options.

“No, I wanted to wait for you. Didn’t want to seem rude.” he stared down at the menu as well, trying to comprehend what any of the words were telling him.

“Well let's order then.”

Once the waitress took your orders, also taking your menus, you had nothing left to stare at but him. You were shitting your pants for lack of a better word. Your knees were bouncing up and down, and your nails were tapping the table quite loudly.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m nervous too.” He took your hand in his. “We’ve been best friends for six months, I think we can handle a first date.”

“Yeah, I’m just scared that I’ll lose you if we don’t work out.” You bluntly stated, not really worrying anymore about hiding your thoughts.

“Losing you’s not an option for me, so I don’t think you need to worry about that.” He was confident in his words at that moment. His eyes shone brighter than the sun, while his gaze was loving and pure. You really hoped he was right.

You felt like you just woke up from a long bittersweet dream, once the last song started. You listened to the words intently, trying to find the memory in the lyrics. None came to mind though, because it wasn’t a memory he was relaying but instead a message to you.

“Maybe I had too many drinks

But that's just what I needed

I hope that you don't think that what I'm saying. sounds conceited

When I look across the room, and you're staring right back at me

Like somebody told a joke and we're the only ones laughin'”

You grabbed your keys, sprinting out the door, not even locking it on your way out. You needed to be somewhere right now that wasn’t your home but someone else's. You were sure you were going nuts, totally and completely crazy but it was a lot better than being sad. For the first time in five months, you felt like things could be okay. That there was a chance at happiness.

“Don't know why I tried

'Cause ain't nobody like you

Familiar disappointment every single time I do

Every single night my arms are not around you

My mind's still wrapped around you”

You slammed your car door shut, running quickly up the walkway to his apartment. You could feel the blood pumping in your heart and the nerves dancing around your stomach. You were ready, finally ready to admit your love for him. You felt so ridiculous for every argument, every absent “I love you”, and every day without him in your bed.

“Baby, tell me when you're ready

I'm waitin'

Baby, any time you're ready

I'm waitin'”

Now you stood in front of his door that you haven’t seen in five months. You realize that it was a different color, and the old lettering was now replaced with shiny, new ones. You knocked a few times, backing up, not wanting to make him feel uncomfortable. What if he didn’t love you, what if every song was about someone else, what if you were wrong.

“Even ten years from now

If you haven't found somebody

I promise, I'll be around

Tell me when you're ready

I'm waitin'”

Shawn opened the door, surprised to see you before him. He saw the tears in your eyes, and the hair falling in front of your face. He noticed your dirty sweatpants, and huge sweatshirt. He wished that you were wearing his sweatshirt.

You felt your heart leap when he opened the door. He was wearing an old black t-shirt, with big stained basketball shorts. You wanted to hug him and kiss him, but you couldn’t. That wasn’t your job anymore.

“What if my dad is right

When he says that you're the one

No, I can't even argue

I won't even fight him on it

Call you when it's late

And I know that you're in bed

'Cause I'm three hours back

Seems like you're always six ahead”

There were lots of things you wanted to say to him.

“I love you and I never thought I would have the chance to tell you that but tonight I bought your album and I played it on the record player just like you taught me and I cried a lot. All these memories flashed in my head and I missed you and I thought your songs were perfect so I came here to tell you I love you.” You rambled, knowing that almost nothing you said made sense. “I know I’m not making sense but I want you. I’m ready for you and this relationship and if you don’t feel the same way then I’ll go home. I’ll try to get over it and I’ll try to finally throw away your things and maybe go out on a date even if I don’t like them. At this point though I don’t think any of that‘s going to work anymore.”

He was crying at your words since this was all he ever wanted to hear from you.

“And if I have to, I'll wait forever

Say the word and I'll change my plans

Yeah, you know that we fit together

I know your heart like the back of my hand”

“Can we just start over, and do everything the opposite of last time?” he asked you, trying to wipe off tears.

“Yes, please.”

You put your hand out for his to shake, as he put his in yours.

“I’m (y/n). ”

“I’m Shawn, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Even ten years from now

If you haven't found somebody

I promise, I'll be around

Tell me when you're ready

I'm waitin', I'm waitin'”

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witchcraft-in-wonderland · 5 years ago

Text

Cori's Tale (Pt.2)

-------------------------

We sat there for a few minutes, I exchanged stories with Patton about the surface world. His expression of sadness and anger at the notion of the other children sending us down the mountain as sacrifices was one I wouldn't soon forget. I learned a lot about him, to, he had a cat allergy, he took care of six children before I got here. That last line stopped me in my tracks.

"What. . . Happened to the other kids?" I asked, Patton's face seemed to fall.

"They. . . Left. . . That's all you need to know for now, dont dwell on it ok kiddo?" Patton rested a hand on my shoulder for a few seconds before getting up.

"I think we should head off now, yeah?" He said, holding a hand out. I merely nodded and accepted it. I walked with Patton into a narrow hallway. On one end was a sign, on the other a lever and pressure plates. Patton stepped a pattern on them, his hooves clicking against the stone, before flipping the lever. A door opened and he walked through it. I chose to read the sign before following.

"Only the fearless may enter here, brave ones, foolish ones, both walk not the middle road," I read aloud before crossing. The words bounced in my head for a bit, fading to the background as my attention turned back to Patton.

"This next puzzle you can do on your own, I've labelled all the levers for you," he said, I watched him cross a few bridges to the end of the room, the second doorway was blocked off by a set of spikes on the floor.

I walked over to the first lever, light blue words were scrawled on the walls next to it, telling me this was the right one. This repeated with about two more levers before I heard a clicking sound and noticed the spikes behind Patton retreating into the ground.

"This next puzzle is dangerous, take my hand," Patton said, holding it out. I took it, not paying attention to much until I realized what we were walking on. Rows, and rows, of sharp, silver, spikes. The spikes seemed to retreat under Patton's hooves, I found this matter interesting.

"Now, as you go through the ruins, you may encounter monsters, and they may try to attack you, I want you to know you should just talk to them and I will come to resolve the conflict," Patton smiled and gestured to a dummy at the center of the room. I walked up to it and noticed the heart that had been established as my SOUL appear in front of me again. I saw something behind the eyes of the dummy, something I couldnt quite place.

"Hi, I'm Cori, she/her and they/them pronouns, what's your name?" I said, not really expecting the dummy to respond. The mysterious aspect of its eyes seemed to evaporate, my SOUL retreated back into my chest, I looked to Patton for guidance, but he merely smiled and clapped in approval.

"Now, follow me kiddo," he said, walking to another room. We'd nearly gotten there when a small frog-like creature appeared in front of me. A barrage of flies aimed straight for my SOUL, I narrowly managed to avoid them by spinning out of the way.

My mind seemed insolent on two options, threaten, or compliment. I was never very accomplished at threats, so instead I decided to compliment the symbol scrawled on its chest. The frog began to blush, it was seconds away from preparing its next attack when Patton stepped out onto the scene. With a glare that could freeze even the toughest child in their tracks, he shooed away the frog creature.

"You did wonderful kiddo," he said, smiling as he lead me to a much longer corridor.

"This test is going to be very difficult, I am going to leave you alone, and you're going to have to walk to the end of the hall, do you think you can do it?" He said. I nodded, I'd been on my own plenty of times before this.

I watched him disappear down the hall and began walking myself, I'd almost reached the door when I felt a hand on my shoulder once again.

"Its alright kiddo, I didnt really leave, but this was a very important test of your independence, I need to make sure you can be alone, I have to handle something," he said. He dropped what looked like one of the old phones the guardians back at the community talked about used to have.

"I will call you periodically to make sure you're alright," Patton walked away from me and I stood there.

He did, in fact, call several times before his phone was stolen by a dog. After about twelve calls I decided it might be best to venture out on my own, after all, I already knew how to talk to and spare the monsters. I packed my art supplies and sketchbook back into my bag and set off.

The ruins were relatively calm, with only the occasional froggit or molsmal to interrupt my walking, though my complimenting and flirtation skills were advanced enough that I could pass them easily. The first real problem presented itself in the form of a ghost, laying on the floor and sulking. It was a sort of faded purple color, and it seemed to be pretending to sleep.

I elected to nudge it slightly with my foot, resulting in a retaliation from the ghost.

"Oh. . . Oh no. . . They noticed. . ." Lavender, as the words appearing above the ghost called it, seemed rather upset.

"I'm sorry- I just needed to get past, I've got somewhere to be," I said.

Tears rained down from the ghosts face, I held my hands up to block them, but they seemed to float back upwards, changing shape the closer they got to my outstretched palms.

"I really didnt mean to frighten you, you seem rather nice," the ghost seemed surprised by this statement.

"I want to show you something," she said. I merely nodded and watched as she cried, her tears floating up and beginning to form what looked like a flower-crown on her head.

"Woah- I wish I could do that," the ghost retreated out of battle.

"I met someone today. . . And they were actually really nice. . . Wow," the ghost disappeared without another word, needless to say it was a uh- different experience, but I didnt mind it. I kept walking on, solving puzzles as I passed them, fighting all manner of strange monsters. I left some money in a web of spiders, each seemed to be wearing their own small hoodie, I decided to write a note complimenting them on it, hoping they would find it sweet. I put the donut they gave me in a ziploc bag of other food items I'd collected, hoping that would keep it from messing up my backpack.

I finally managed to reach what looked like a small house, out of which Patton walked, phone in hand before he noticed me.

"Oh my goodness gracious how long was I gone! Come here kiddo- I'll heal you," he said, trapping me in one of the biggest bear hugs I'd ever experienced. I felt a calm wash over me. Patton let go and guided me into the house.

"The pie isnt cool just yet, but I'll let you know when it is, feel free to explore," said Patton. I, however, had had enough of exploring that day, and decided that I would rather draw at the table.

I began to get tired later in the day, and elected to go to bed. I woke up later in the night with the smell of pie filling my nostrils. I merely set it in another ziploc in my bag before going back to bed.

I wasnt sure how long I was in the ruins before I began to feel homesick, but soon enough I'd plucked up the courage to ask Patton about leaving.

"Stay here kiddo, I need to handle something," I watched as Patton disappeared around the corner before following him. We walked all the way down the stairs before he stopped at an archway, turning to me.

"This is the exit to the ruins. . . I am going to destroy it. . ." He said.

"I have seen five children pass through these doors, and never return, one who didnt even make it through the ruins themselves, I cannot let it happen again," I was frozen, processing the words to slowly to interrupt.

"If you cross, they, Logan, will kill you," Patton said, something about the way he said Logan's name resonated with me. He sounded distraught, as though he were talking about someone personal to him.

"But you cant keep me here forever, it's not right," I said. This seemed to breach the silence.

"You are right. . . You would just be unhappy here. . . Very well. . . Prove yourself to me, and I will let you go," this time, two hearts appeared. My own ever-changing one, and an upside-down white one on Patton's side.

I barely had time to comment before facing a barrage of fire and flames. I narrowly managed to dodge it, holding my hands out as a barrier.

I wanted to talk to him, but I couldnt seem to find the right words.

The fire kept coming, I held my hands out, envisioning it in my head as changing shapes, which it soon obeyed. I watched as the fire molded itself to the images in my head. Soon enough the spitting image of Patton was in front of me, made of fire, before it split off into separate whispers of smoke. I could see the surprised expression on Patton's face as he watched.

Soon enough his attacks became less calculated, almost as if he was actively avoiding hitting me.

Finally it was over, Patton sighed, defeated.

"I am so sorry kiddo. . . You're right. . . You would just be unhappy, my expectations, my loneliness, my fear, I will put them all aside, for you," he said. He opened his arms for a hug, which I embraced in full. As he let go I could see the tears making their way down his face. I watched him leave, turning his head slightly and giving me a small nod.

Then it was just me and the door. As I walked through, I was met with a long corridor. At the end if it, a familiar orange face.

"Well done! You spared the life if one innocent person!" Said the tree.

"What do you want with me." I growled under my breath.

"I am the prince of this worlds future, but do not worry, my plan isnt regicide, this is so much more interesting,"

I stomped my foot into the ground "What. Do you want. From me." I repeated.

"You interest me, human, sparing even those who would kill you without hesitation, but what will you do if you meet a relentless killer? Will you kill out of frustration? Or will you continue to die, because you would rather rely on magic than murder," the tree seemed to disappear abruptly, leaving me alone with the words echoing in my head.

I continued down the path, and was met with an overwhelming sense of cold at the end.

----------------------------------------------

Tag list:

@nerosdayinhell

@that-artsy-gay

@official-lucifers-child

@spooky-scary-virgil

@misunderstoodshadowling

@youtuberswithalex

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angel-tries-to-write · 5 years ago

Text

Mother’s Love

Fandom: Assassin’s Creed Rating: Mature Pairing: Jacob Frye x fem!reader Word count: 1864 Genre: angst, hurt/comfort

You’re Jacob’s wife, you both trained Jack and you both feel guilty and responsible for what he became. You have to deal with him and the trauma he caused you.

You didn’t know how much time had passed since your kidnapping, but you were almost convinced that the cold basement of Lambeth Asylum was going to be your grave. That you’d never see Jacob and your children again. That Jack would kill you to punish his former mentor. You were sure of it when the Ripper entered the cell he kept you locked in. You slowly stood up on shaking legs. If you were going to die, you wanted to die with dignity.

“Jack” you called softly, watching the man come closer. “You don’t have to do this.”

“Shut up!” he yelled at you, still getting closer.

“Would you really do that? Would you kill someone who treated you like a son? Who you treated like a mother?” his order scared you, but you kept talking. You came up with a plan, risky and crazy one, but you didn’t have much choice. You just needed to distract him.

“My mother is dead and it’s Jacob’s fault! And you never cared about me. You’ve seen only your perfect babies and their perfect daddy” he growled, his words soaking with venom.

“It’s not true, you know it. I was busy, I admit, but it didn’t mean I cared about you less” you tried to keep your voice steady and calm, but in fact you were frightened. Every moment could be your last, every moment he might lose his patience.

“Stop lying!”

“I’m not lying. I love you Jack. I always have and I always will” you said with your last strike of courage.

“No! You’re just trying to trick me!” he protested, shaking his head. Apparently that was kind of distracting him.

“I’m not, Jack, I’m not and you know it. You were to us like a son. To me, you still are. I don’t intend to hurt you, Jack. I love you, despite all these terrible things you’ve done” you felt tears forming in the corners of your eyes. It was killing you to not be able to go and save Jacob. It was a torture to see what Jack had become. You didn’t want to even think of what you had to do, but you had to keep calm and carry on.

“Spare me your lies. You can not love a monster” he barked and you gasped. Was it really what he was thinking? Oh, Jack, you poor little boy. You knew you had to do what you planned, but his statement made it even harder than it already had been.

“Yes I can. That’s what mothers do” you stated firmly. “You are not a monster to me, Jack. And you will never be. I might not have given birth to you, but it doesn’t matter to me” you reached out and quickly took the mask off, exposing his face, twisted in a horrifying grimace. But you showed no fear. You looked deeply into his eyes. The eyes of a madman. You caressed his cheek. “I love you, son” you whispered, pulling him in a tight hug before he could react. “I love you and I forgive you” still hugging him, you gently took a knife he had hidden in his belt. A trick you had taught him a long time ago, when you wanted to protect him. Who could know it would become his end. You sobbed uncontrollably as you thrusted the blade into Jack’s neck.

“You…” he choke, pushing you away. He gasped for air, pressing his hand to the wound.

“I’m sorry, Jack” you watched him through the tears. “I’m so sorry I had to it. But you needed to be stopped. You hurt too many people. You hurt my husband and intended to hurt my other children. I couldn’t let you go free” you observed his body hit the floor in the last moments of his life. You kneeled by his side and caressed his cheek again. You let him see how much pain he caused, you didn’t hide your tears. “I wish I could have done something earlier. To show you how much I’ve always loved you. To prove you Jacob never betrayed you but you betrayed him. To save you.”

“You couldn’t save me” he whispered.

“I wish I could” you said, choking on your tears. Jack’s body got still and inert as the last breath left his chest. “Rest in peace, my child” you leaned down and kissed his forehead, your tears dripped on his face. The terror had ended, you and your family were safe, but your heart was broken. You wished Jack could had understood what did you feel. Or that you could had protected him when he was a little child, that you could had prevent his imprisonment in the Asylum. Maybe that would had saved all those lives Jack had taken.

“Mrs. Frye?” you heard Frederick Abberline calling for you. All you could do was to grab Jack’s mask and pull it quickly on his face. You didn’t want anyone else to see it.

“I’m fine” you said when the door opened. The policeman examined you carefully with his look before he turned around.

“She’s here, Miss Frye!” Abberline exclaimed. Was Evie with him?

“(Y/n)!” that answered your unspoken question, Evie appeared at the door. “Jack…” she noticed the motionless body next to you.

“I tried, Evie. I tried to stop him” you said quietly, feeling new tears on your cheeks.

“I know, I know. But right now we have to make sure no one will find out he was an Assassin. To protect the Brotherhood” she approached you and helped you get up. “Come, Jacob is waiting. He needs you now.”

You nodded, sending one last glance to Jack’s body and let Evie get you out. She led you to another cell where you saw a weak form of your beloved man.

“Jacob!” you rushed to him, impatient to have him in your arms. He looked terrible, defeated and broken, but alive. You kissed him hard to make him sure you were real. “I’m here, baby. It’s over.”

“Miss Frye, mrs. Frye, we should get going” spoke Abberline and you knew he was right. You shouldn’t stay there any longer. “I’ll make sure the secret is safe.”

“Thank you, Inspector” you said.

After a painfully long travel to home, Evie helped you to take care of Jacob and then yourself, before you could finally go to sleep in your own bed in your husband’s arms and spend there a couple of days. Both of you haven’t spoken much, your bodies were healing fast, but your minds were broken forever. Nightmares, panic attacks, even hallucinations made you two decide to not bring kids home for a while. Both of you needed time and you didn’t want your children to experience this. PTSD hit you hard, you had to deal with it first.

One night you woke up calmly, not panting and frightened like you used to. Jacob was still asleep, so you quietly got out of the bed and stepped to the window to look through it. Your naked body shivered in the chilly air of the night. You two decided to sleep naked when you realized how helpful was skin-to-skin contact, how comforting it was and how much it calmed you. That pure intimacy was the best reminder you were safe in your own bedroom, by the love of your life’s side. That you survived. Unlike those who didn’t.

You froze, feeling an arm snaking around your waist and a scruffy chin being rest on your shoulder. The feeling of bare skin prevented you from going into full panic mode or even screaming. You relaxed quickly, realizing it was Jacob seeking for physical contact. He needed this, it was his way to deal with the demons haunting him.

“It’s okay, Frye, there’s nothing to be afraid of” you whispered, calming yourself.

“We’ve been married for years and you still call me by my last name?” he complained.

“I was talking to myself” you explained, caressing his hands. Jacob kissed your shoulder and you felt him smile. A moment of comfortable silence fell between the two of you.

“You think we should talk about it?” the man asked quietly.

“We can try, but I don’t think it would help” you answered skeptically. “Besides, what can we say that would make us feel better? We both feel guilty for teaching Jack everything he knew, for not seeing who he was becoming, for not helping him when there wasn’t too late. We are responsible for all of this” you whispered, leaning against your husband’s chest. “He did terrible things, but I still can’t hate him for it” you whispered, barely even noticing you started to cry.

“You loved him. And so did I. And if only we loved him less, we could have stopped him sooner. I would have stopped him. But I didn’t want to hurt him, you know? I let him win, I let him hurt me, because I couldn’t accept what I had to do until it was too late. I hesitated. You did not. You’re far better than me” Jacob kissed the top of your head. You could hear his voice crack. He buried his face in your hair.

“We both hesitated and we have paid for it” you turned around to face him. “The whole London has paid a high price for our mistakes. The best we can do now is to make sure it will never happen again” you cupped your husband’s cheek, wiping tears off it.

“We will, baby” Jacob kissed your palm and leaned in to capture your lips. “I’m so glad I have you. As much as I hate to see you suffer, I feel better knowing you can understand me and I’m not alone in this mess. All the time Jack kept me captive, I had been thinking about you and our children. I would have ended up insane if I hadn’t.”

“And I had thought about you when I killed Jack. I forgave him everything but one thing: hurting you and trying to hurt our children” you confessed, wiping your own tears.

Jacob looked at you, kissed you hard, then pressed you tightly to his chest. You buried your face in his warm skin, wetting it with your tears and feeling his falling onto your shoulder. You spent a few minutes crying together in a tight embrace. You were broken and defeated, but you survived. Your relationship strengthened even more, you didn’t hide any of your feelings, there was no barrier between you.

After a while you headed back to bed. Jack’s terror did a lot of damage and your wounds were healing slowly, but every moment without the thoughts of the trauma you had, was a big success. One day you would stop having nightmares, flashbacks and panic attacks. One day you would be able to look at Jacob’s missing eye without feeling guilty and thinking about Jack. One day. For now you knew you were going through hell and even though it hurt, it also made you stronger than ever. Because you were together and madly in love. And love conquers all.

#assassin's creed #jacob frye x reader #jacob frye #my fic

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kittyotakunoir666 · 5 years ago

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Felinette Month Day 7: Couple’s First

This might follow up with my New School, New Friends story but it’s not set in stone but the first scene is from when they meet.

D1 D2 D3 D4 D5 D6 D7 D8 D9 D10 D11 D12 D13 D14 D15 D16 D17 D18 D19 D20 D21 D22 D23 D24 D25 D26 D27 D28 D29 D30

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First Meeting

Marinette had just transferred into her new school after being bullied out of her last one. She had gotten to school early to get her schedule and now she was waiting for her new class representative. She decided to look over her schedule.

After looking over the schedule, Marinette looks up from her paper and notices a blonde boy making his way to where she and the front office lady are waiting. By the looks of it, the class representatives wear a different uniform than the other students. He had on a white-collar shirt, a black blazer with red buttons over it, red and black plaid pants, black shoes, a black and green watch, and was carrying a black satchel.

“Good morning Mlle Bauer” The boy greeted the front desk lady

“Good morning to you too Felix” Mlle Bauer greeted the boy known as Felix, “We have a new student starting today and I know you would normally only handle the business side of being a representative but Rosemarie had an appointment today she couldn’t miss”

“It’s alright Mlle Bauer, I knew about Rosemarie’s appointment,” Felix assured Mlle Bauer, “Now where is the new student?”

“Right here” Marinette giggled. She knew she was small, her mother is still half a head taller than her.

Felix’s eyes widen as he looks at her because he is one foot taller than her. “My deepest apologies I hadn’t seen you standing there”

“It’s alright, it happens all the time” Marinette reassured him, “I am 4 '11'’”

“I see well I apologize again Mlle?” Felix Inquired

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng” Marinette greeted the boy and extending her hand

“Felix Culpa” Felix introduced himself taking Marinettes hand and giving her a firm shake

First Confession

Felix and Marinette were hanging out at Marinette’s place after school. Felix had stayed for dinner at the recommendation of Sabine, he set a reminder on his phone about this day to tell his mother later about the invitation from Sabine. After dinner, Marinette and Felix moved to the living room while Sabine and Tom went to their room. They had just finished playing Ultimate Mecha Strike III. Felix lost immensely.

“How?, Marinette, How?” Felix exclaimed, “You had less than half your life”

“I’m Marinette” Was all Marinette said

“I’m starting to get that” Felix said with a smile

“Wanna watch some movies?” Marinette asked as she grabbed the remote in case he said yes

“Sure,” Felix agreed, “What movie do you wanna watch?”

“Let’s watch ‘To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before’, It’s such a good romance movie” Marinette suggested, “Or do you have a movie in mind?”

“No, I’m okay with watching that movie,” Felix assured her.

So they began to watch the movie and since it was already late Marinette began to doze off. So when Marinette finally fell asleep, her head fell onto Felix’s shoulder which surprised him. He then saw that she had fallen asleep so he moved her gently onto his lap. He stared at her sleeping face, forgetting the movie completely and carefully put his hand on her cheek.

“You came into my life without even knowing how much you would change it, you took your time in getting to know me for me and accepted me and my walls, you accepted my friends, you didn’t judge me for all my faults, you helped me with my anxiety, you are are the most caring person I got to know and before I knew it,” Felix whispered, “I had fallen in love with you”

First Date

Marinette was nervous, no, she was beyond nervous. She was feeling very anxious and excitable. The reason being was that she was finally going on a date with Felix. So she called the girl squad over; Ruby, Terra, Allegra, Rosemarie, Jake, and Nyx. They were helping her get ready for the date and helping how she was going to do her hair. Marinette was trying freaking out and was changing in and out of a lot of outfits behind the room divider freaking out, Ruby was on Marinette’s bed laying on her stomach, Terra and Allegra were on each other on Marinette’s lounge, Rosemarie and Jake were sitting on the floor, Nyx was in the computer chair. They were watched as Marinette was freaking out on what to wear when Ruby decided to interrupt her rant.

“Do you know where he’ll be taking you?” Ruby asked Marinette

Marinette stopped and looked at her then looked at the others before responding, “All he said was to dress formally but not too formal.”

“Let us raid your clothes to combine a perfect outfit,” commanded Rosemarie

Marinette sighed in defeat and nodded her head. Jake and Terra looked through her shirts, skirts, and dresses, they found an empire red dress. Rosemarie was looking through the jackets and coats she found a black short long sleeve dress jacket. Allegra was looking through bracelets and earrings and found a gorgeous black bracelet that went wonderfully with the simple black dangle earrings she also found. Ruby was looking at the shoes and trying to find ones that would look great with the empire dress along with looking for the perfect bag and she found red 3-inch heels and a red and black wallet purse. Nyx was in charge of Marinette's hair, nails, and makeup so she got to work on Marinette's nails so they had time to dry so she painted those a red shade, gave her a natural look with slightly dark lipstick and had put half her hair up with a hairpin and curled her hair.

They had just finished when Marinette's mom called to them that Felix was there. So the group headed down first and gathered next to Marinette's mom. Then Marinette came down looking more gorgeous than normal leaving Felix breathless.

“For the first time, I understand the difference between pretty and beautiful,” Felix said

This made Marinette blush and the group squeal. Sabine then took some photos and sent the couple on their way. Felix opened her side of the limo and then went to his side and they were on their way. They arrived at the restaurant and to them, it felt natural. There were no first date jitters, no nervousness that was there before, and no awkwardness.

After dinner, they had walked around Paris and ended up underneath the Eiffel Tower. Where they danced, laughed, and had their moments. They were having the time of their life and they didn’t want it to end.

First Fight

Felix was running. He had just seen Marinette being held by Adrien in what seemed like an intimate hug and he didn’t know what to think. Marinette had let go of Adrien and was just about to say goodbye when she saw Felix in the corner of her eye. Both their eyes widened and Felix began to take a few steps back before running away with Marinette calling his name and running after him leaving Adrien just standing there.

“Felix, Slow down” Marinette yelled to him.

Felix ignored her and kept running until they ended up under the Eiffel Tower and Marinette tackled him. She then used her strength to hold him there so they could both catch their breaths. The streets were almost empty with it being 8 pm.

“Marinette let me go,” Felix commanded, “How are you holding me in place?”

“Shut up and listen,” Marinette demanded, “Whatever you think you saw was not the thing you saw”

“Really because what I saw was you and Adrien in an intimate embrace,” Felix accused her, “What do you still have feelings for him?”

“Felix I told you it wasn’t like that,” Marinette told him

“What was it Marinette because I don’t know what to think anymore,” Felix asked

“What you saw was me rejecting him,” Marinette answered

“Really because it didn’t look like it to me,” Felix scoffed

“Well that’s exactly what it was and if you can’t accept that then call me when you calmed down and actually thought about how I’m with you because I want to be with you,” Marinette hissed at him finally releasing him and getting up.

Marinette walked away to go home leaving Felix on the ground with his thoughts.

First Kiss

Felix and Marinette were on another date just walking through Paris while there was a light drizzle of rain so they weren’t really getting wet. Marinette was wearing a pink v-neck strap top, white dotted skinny jeans, a red wine cardigan, white heeled shoes, a pink hobo bag, disc earrings, and a disc necklace (this). Felix was wearing a white button-down dress shirt, essential chino pants, Justin sunglasses, rugged handcrafted lace-up boots, and a black wool overcoat (this). They were walking, holding hands, and talking.

“It’s such a wonderful day for a walk,” Marinette commented as the began to arrive at the Eiffel Tower. There was a street band playing some music.

“It is,” Felix agreed, “remember how on our first date we danced under here”

The street band began to play ‘Perfect’ by Ed Sheeran and Felix took Marinette’s hand they began to dance to the music. The few people who were there stopped and began to watch with a few taking out their phones and recording them. As the song finished and as did their dance they finished it with a kiss. They pulled away when they heard the claps of their audience and both blushed as they bowed.

First ‘I Love You’s”

Marinette and Felix were just hanging out and having a picnic at the park near Marinette’s home. They were both doing their own thing when Felix stopped reading his book and just stared at Marinette. Marinette was designing and was so focused on what she was doing she didn’t notice Felix staring. Meanwhile, Felix was enjoying the view of Marinette in her element. He adored her and would do anything for her.

So before he knew it he spoke saying, “I love you”

This made Marinette snap out of her focused faze and stare at him. Felix meanwhile was freaking out because he just said ‘I Love You’. They stared at each other for a moment with both having wide eyes but Marinette was also gaping.

Marinette then launched herself at Felix and gave him a kiss before whispering into his ear, “I love you too”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

D1 D2 D3 D4 D5 D6 D7 D8 D9 D10 D11 D12 D13 D14 D15 D16 D17 D18 D19 D20 D21 D22 D23 D24 D25 D26 D27 D28 D29 D30

#felinette #felinette month #felinette month day 7 #Couple's First #marinette dupain cheng #felix culpa #a bit of Adrien

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msjr0119 · 5 years ago

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What took you so long?

Part 1- Things go bump in the night

This was originally a one shot- I have no idea what I’m doing with it. But I’m going to give it a shot. 😊

Liam had been assassinated, Drake had left Cordonia before this. He had heard from Savannah about his friend- he felt guilty not returning. Someone had blackmailed him to not return, with only his sister knowing the truth. Leo had taken over the throne in place of his brother due to there being no heir....

*CHARACTERS BELONG TO PIXELBERRY*

{Drake x Riley}

Tags: @annekebbphotography @burnsoslow @drakesensworld @ladyangel70 @butindeed @bbrandy2002 @bascmve01 @kingliam2019 @captain-kingliamsqueen @drakewalker04 @pedudley @duchessemersynwalker @insideamirage @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld @kozabaji @texaskitten30 @ibldw-main @kimmiedoo5 @nikkis1983 @dangerouseggseagleartisan @gnatbrain @walker7519 @lodberg @cmestrella @hopefulmoonobject @addictedtodrakefanfic @angi15h @liamxs-world @rafasgirl23415

******

“What took you so long to return Walker?”

Riley stared at him adoringly, she had waited years for him return- almost giving up hope. She thought maybe it would be awkward him returning due to Liam’s tragic demise. Believing that he had opened Liam’s letter prior to his return, she felt like she had lost him as a friend, with the lack of communication.

What if Drake never returns?

What if anything else bad happens?

What if Anton was caught earlier?

What if Liam hadn’t have passed away?

What if Drake had returned sooner?

What if Savannah and Bertrand didn’t get married- would he have returned?

Most of these ‘what’s if’s’ had remained in her mind all these years. The last two thoughts added to the continuous list- and were now running through her mind ever since she laid her eyes on him earlier that day. Now he was here, back in Cordonia she didn’t know what to expect. She had kissed him publicly in front of the whole court, making the wedding reception turn silent. Did she regret it? No. Liam gave them his blessing in the letters he had left for them both. Everyone in Cordonia knew of the context in the handwritten letters. For Riley’s sake, everyone had wished that Drake had the guts to come back earlier.

“I- I don’t know. I’m sorry. I wish I could have supported you and Liam Jr. I didn’t know what to do?”

Riley caressed his cheeks as his emotions got the best of him. Wiping his tears away, she gazed at him with sorrow in her eyes. She intertwined her fingers with his and led him onto the balcony.

There was a cool breeze outside, making Riley’s hair sweep across her face. Drake removed the stray hair that was covering her sparkling baby blues, placing it gently behind her ears.

“So, I bet you never believed that Leo would take over the throne?” Riley said, not really knowing how to break the awkwardness.

Drake nodded, blankly staring onto the palaces grounds- not responding.

“He’s doing an alright job I suppose. He’s already teaching Liam Jr all the prince protocols.”

“Heh. That’ll be because he can’t wait to give the throne up to his nephew. To be honest, I never thought I’d see the day that Leo would be sitting on a throne.”

“I don’t think anyone did.” She laughed quietly, he was known as the playboy prince, not the King type. But Leo was doing a grand job considering the circumstances.

“How are you doing anyway? Savannah told me that Li passed a few days before your wedding. I’m so sorry.”

“Drake, it’s fine. I’m fine. I’m not going to lie, at first I was broken. I was pregnant. We rushed the wedding preparations before any press could tell I was expecting... it was hard... but I got through it with the support from everyone. If ... if I wasn’t pregnant, I’d have left Cordonia.”

Drake noticed Riley look down towards the floor, if he had known she was left pregnant and alone he would have dragged her out Of Cordonia until the royal guards had caught Anton. He would have done anything to protect her. Wishing he had his father’s guts to protect the people close to him. He was a coward, but he did what he thought was best to protect his sister and nephew.

“Ri, I’m so sorry. But you’ve done an amazing job with Liam. If he’s anything like you and his uncle Leo, he’s going to be trouble. If he’s like Li, he’s going to be a heartbreaker. Liam would be so proud of the both of you.” Drake knew just from witnessing a few moments between Riley and Liam Jr that she was an amazing loving Mom. This child would definitely be Mommy’s boy.

“And you too.” Drake looked at her puzzled. Why would Liam be proud of the man who abandoned everyone. The man who couldn’t help his friends when they needed him the most. The constant guilt, kept stabbing him in the heart. No matter how many times people said ‘it’s fine’ he still felt these emotions.

“What do you mean?”

“Because you’ve come back. I have a feeling what Anton did to you. Savannah didn’t elaborate. But I’m so happy that you’re back. I’ve missed you, Marshmallow.”

“I’ve missed you too, Brooks.”

Drake pulled her into his warm embrace. She could hear his rapid heartbeat increasing every second that went by. Providing him with a soft smile as she gazed at him, he cupped her cheek- caressing it.

“I’ve never stopped loving you Ri, I’m going to support you both, protect you both. I’m going to make amends. I’m going to fulfil Liam’s last wish.”

“I never really stopped loving you either. I love you, Walker. I suppose we should go back in. Sav and Bertrand are probably wondering where we are.”

Drake placed his arm, on Riley’s lower back guiding her back in. He gave her a peck on the cheek before they separated to mingle with the other wedding guests.

******

Drake noticed Leo and Maxwell talking in the corner of the room, he decided to join them- grabbing a whiskey on route.

“Ah Drake, we’ve just been talking about you.” Leo said with the biggest smirk on his face.

“Your majesty. Nothing bad I hope?” I know that look Leo- you’re up to mischief.

“Of course not Drake. But you and blossom were on the balcony a longggg time.” Maxwell winked at his friend. Maxwell had been Riley’s rock these last couple of years. He slept next to her in the same bed constantly comforting her with nightmares that she had from that fatal night. Every so often she would mention Drake in her sleep. Max loved Riley, she was like his sister, but with the lack of sleep he had- he could have potentially killed himself. Now Drake was back- he was eager to pass the baton onto him.

“We were getting a bit of closure, Max.”

“Is that what they call it, Sir Walker?” Yes fuck you, your majesty and fuck your assumptions.

“Yes, your Majesty. What else would it be?”

Leo’s eyebrows raised up, scowling towards Drake. Why did he hide his feelings like he always does. Maxwell believed he was piggy in the middle, and dread to think how this conversation was about to elaborate. Would it turn into a heated argument or just sexual innuendos?

“Oh I don’t know Drake. She kissed you. Then you both disappear onto the balcony. Where are you sleeping tonight by the way?” Leo said mischievously. He really hoped his two friends would fulfil his brothers last wishes, however they were both stubborn.

“Leo. Please. We talked that was it. And I’ll be going back to the cabin. Why?” Drake knew Leo enjoyed being a wind up merchant, but he was now feeling defeated and getting frustrated.

“With Riley?”

“No, not with Riley.”

“Why not?”

“Leo! What is with the 100questions?” Drake snapped back at the King. If he wasn’t king he would have walked away from this pointless conversation.

“Come on Drake. We all know you love her still. She admitted she loved you and Liam. And Liam accepted that. He wanted you to both be together. So why are you pushing it aside? He passed away three years ago- she’s been waiting for you to return.”

“I’ve just got back? I’m not rushing anything. I do still love her. And she loves me- I don’t know why but she does.” Drake didn’t understand why Riley would return his love- he always believed she was well out of league.

“Why are you afraid of claiming her as your own then? We all expected you to return home and for you both pick off from where you left it.”

Drake looked towards Riley, she was smiling with the women. He loved her smile- it lit up the room, sparkling along with the chandeliers. Leo tapped Drake on the shoulder- you have all of our blessings, he whispered. Drake gulped the whiskey in one go.

******

Riley headed towards a drunk Savannah. Of course she was going to let her down, it was her wedding day. It was her special day. Hana softly smiled at Riley as she approached.

“It’s so good to have my brother back, don’t you agree Ri?” Savannah said to the ladies, smirking towards Riley- hoping to get some gossip.

“Of course, Sav.” Riley’s heart fluttered every time a word linked to Drake was mentioned.

“Is that all you can say?” The drunk bride snapped at Riley. Riley had to bite her lip- if it wasn’t her wedding day, Riley would have had stern words with the younger Walker.

“What do you expect her to say Savannah?” Hana interrupted, usually this shy lady didn’t like confrontation, but she realised how drunk Savannah was. Anything said could be misinterpreted by a drunk mind.

“I don’t know, Lady Hana? But with that public kiss I’d have thought there would have been something else. Do you still love him?”

“Of course I do. I never stopped loving him.”

“So I assume you’ll be going back to the cabin tonight with him?”

“No. You assume wrong.” Riley was now getting frustrated with Savannah interfering. If anything was going to elaborate with their relationship it would be between the two of them- no one else.

“Riley why are you so stubborn? You can move on from Liam. It has been three years now. It’s what he wanted. My brother made you happy at some point, so why not go.” Savannah stood in front of Riley glaring at her, folding her arms. Riley stood scowling at her. The two women were now having a staring contest- a stand off. At times she often wondered what Bertrand saw in the woman. She is completely different to Drake- at times Riley disliked her. Riley wanted to change the subject to avoid anymore friction.

“I’m not being stubborn Savannah! He’s only just returned. I’m not rushing things. Where’s Olivia by the way?”

“It’s not rushing Ri. Just follow your heart. She said she couldn’t make it- there was an issue at Lythikos, she sent her apologies.”

Riley just nodded politely. She hadn’t spoken to Olivia properly in months. Missing her friend she believed she was in the wrong for not making much of effort either.

*****

It was early hours in the morning when the wedding had officially ended. Drake offered to walk Riley back to her room- being the gentleman that he was under that rough interior. Opening the door slowly, she offered for him to join her for a night cap. Bastien was due to pick him up soon to drive him to the cabin- he promised Riley to have only one then he would leave. He couldn’t resist her pet lip and those sparkly pleading eyes. Steadily he met them and shook his head in defeat. They sat on the balcony, the fresh cold air hit their lungs immediately. The stars were sparkling above them, Riley kept gazing up as if she was needing Liam’s approval. She often wondered if he was happy up there- she would always love him. Drake shuffled his chair closely to Riley, putting an arm around her- he had an inkling as to why she kept gazing up to the sky. He knew that Liam was her true love, and that Liam Jr was Liam’s child. But if he could give them that slight bit of happiness in their lives he was obliged to do it.

“I better get going. Thank you for the night cap.” He said sadly as he stood up from his chair.

“You could have stayed in the palace you know.”

“It would feel more like home being at the cabin. I’ll see you tomorrow, Brooks.”

Lowering himself down, he kissed Riley on the cheek making her blush. Before he could react, she pulled him back down eagerly placing her cherry bud lips onto his. Drake pulled her up off her chair and held her close, the kiss deepening.

“Stay with me?” She asked him.

“It’s too soon, Ri.” Biting his lip, his heart felt shattered. He wanted her. He had always wanted her. But respected her too much.

“I know, I felt the same at first. But Savannah kept mentioning that I should go with you tonight.”

“Really? Leo did the same with me?”

Both now understanding that people were attempting to give them a bit of alone time together.

“Ri, I’d love to sweep you off your feet and take you to my cabin. But...”

“But...? I want to feel safe. I only really ever trusted you and felt safe with you. Take me with you? Or you stay here?”

“If I take you....I’ll sleep on the sofa. Okay?”

“Okay. I’ll just quickly pack some things.”

As Riley was about to enter her room, they both heard something outside. Sounding like someone was in the Maze? Briefly scrutinising the dark grounds, Riley thought her imagination was playing tricks on her. Shrugging her shoulder, she packed an overnight bag, and text Leo to explain where she would be. Uncertainties were lurking around the edge of her subconscious, her heart began to pound. Scared that there was someone indeed outside spying on everyone. Was it someone linked to Anton? Someone they didn’t know about? Riley asked Drake to do a detour via Ramsford to pick Liam Jr up after voicing her concerns. Drake agreed, and text Leo warning him.

*****

“Are you wanting to blow our cover?” The woman whispered in a frustrated tone of voice.

“No! It was an accident!”

Walking through a maze in the dark proved difficult with no lighting surrounding it. They might as well have been blindfolded. It was a miracle that they didn’t break a leg tripping over the tree stump standing dormant in the middle of the path.

“I told you she’d jump straight back into Walker’s arms. What are you going to do?”

#theroyalromance #choices trr #riley brooks #drakewalker #maxwell beaumont #leo rhys #hanalee #olivia nevrakis #drake x riley #drake x mc

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savage-rhi · 5 years ago

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Hi ♥️ can you write a Higgs x Reader oneshots, where he wakes up and finds the reader next to him. He didn't see them for a while and they didn't want to wake him up. Thank you 💕

Some cute shit coming right the fuck up for you hon :D!

Higgs jolted awake, not from a nightmare this time around but due to a throbbing headache behind his eyes. Groaning, he rubbed at his temple, head rolling into the pillow he was laying on. Making a face, Higgs shut his eyes trying to force his body to go back to sleep. He was having difficulty.

Having DOOMs was one thing, but coming down from the withdrawals of being a level 7 back down to a 2 was comparable to trying to quit smoking cold turkey and feeling the brain go beserk trying to substitute the stimulation. Higgs hated feeling this weak, this vulnerable. It had been a long while since his connection with Amelie had been severed, but the scars were still there. He lived with them every day.

Before Higgs could contemplate his poor life choices, he caught something from the corner of his eye. He turned his head, seeing that someone else had been accompanying him during his slumber. At first, he tensed up, moving away until the sleep from his eyes began to fade further. There was a gentleness in his eyes as he came upon the realization it was Y/N. They had their back turned to him, messing around with their cuff link and he couldn’t resist temptation. His arms slowly snaked around Y/N’s waist, pulling them close to his chest as he sighed softly.

“How long have you been here?” He asked curiously as Y/N attempted to turn their head and look at him, only seeing his disheveled hair and feeling the warmth of his breath against their skin.

“A while. You looked peaceful, I didn’t want to wake you.” Y/N said as they turned in Higgs’s embrace, pulling away so they could look at him. It had been a long time since either of the two had seen one another. Y/N needed to stare at him. They missed Higgs’s blue eyes and how much depth they had; years of experience and sorrows crammed into one single entity.

“How’re your withdrawals?” Y/N asked as Higgs quirked his lips into a tired smile. He was still very much groggy despite being fully awake now and elated to see Y/N again.

“Not as bad as they have been. I couldn’t get out of bed the other day because of the pain. Your help would have been great.” Higgs murmured causing Y/N to scrunch their brows in defeat. They sighed, giving a small shake with their head as Higgs continued.

“I didn’t think you were coming back.” He said as Y/N reached a hand up and caressed some of the strands of Higgs’s hair from out of his face. He closed his eyes, leaning into their touch.

“I couldn’t leave one of my best clients in the dark.” Y/N said with a laugh as Higgs chuckled.

“Remind me again why I decided to hire a cuddle therapist especially when you didn’t bring me a gift?” Higgs asked aloud as he turned, flipping onto his back as he exhaled and swallowed. He could feel Y/N’s warm body move closer to his, fingertips caressing the scruff on his face before moving down his shoulder.

“Because I am the gift.” Y/N said amusingly, staring at him. “And because your touch starvation is through the roof.”

“Point made.” Higgs said.

“That’s not the only reason why I came back.” Y/N said, shifting Higgs’s mind to one of curiosity as he turned his head and looked at them. He was searching Y/N’s eyes now, wanting to know the secret behind their words.

“You know you’re not just a client right?” Y/N started as Higgs gave a little shrug, barely noticeable as he kept his gaze locked on them.

“I’d like to think at this point we are friends. We’ve been through a lot together dealing with your trauma. Yeah, you were a dick last time but I missed the banters. I missed how you got me to think. I missed you.” Y/N explained as Higgs could feel his heart somewhat swell at the words. He tried not to act on his emotions then, knowing there was a strict form of professionalism he had to carry out with Y/N in order to keep their arrangement in check. However, after having Y/N with him for several months, easing his touch starvation and actually listening and talking to him like a person, Higgs had caught the bug. His feelings for Y/N has grown into something that made him want to push the boundary a bit beyond friendship.

“I don’t want to lose your company, but I think I need to step up.” Higgs said, his tone sounding a bit firm as Y/N adjusted in the bed. There was evident concern in their features as they waited for Higgs to speak, allowing him to have the floor with the conversation.

“I care about you an awful lot, honey. You’re the one thing I look forward to a few times a month. I don’t think I could have gotten through most of this shit without you, and that’s saying somethin’. I get it you probably hear this crap from other clients that are just as fucked up as I am, but–” He paused, feeling himself get cold feet but Higgs forced himself to look at Y/N; to really look at Y/N as he swallowed hard and breathed slowly through his nose.

“I think I’m fallin’ for you.” Damn it he wish it weren’t that cheesy, but Higgs couldn’t think of any other words that came close to how he felt towards Y/N. To say they were taken aback was an understatement, however, unlike what Higgs feared the most, Y/N sat there searching his eyes like earlier on. There was an acceptance he wasn’t used to seeing and that made his pulse speed up as anxiety pooled in his stomach despite being confident enough to confess.

“Higgs–”

“I understand,” Higgs interrupted, already assuming the worst. “If we can’t continue this further, I get it. I needed to get it off my chest though. After the spat we had last time, it put things into perspective.”

“Higgs, I was gonna say that the feelings are mutual. I said friends earlier because–I didn’t think you shared the same feelings.” Y/N admitted, their cheeks blushing some as Higgs was shocked.

“Really?” He asked as Y/N nodded, giving a sincere smile as their gaze traveled from his eyes and to his lips.

“That’s part of why I came back. I quit my job. After what happened and these last few months, I started catching feelings. It was the responsible thing to do in this situation.”

“But you liked your job, right?” Higgs asked, now worried about Y/N as they shrugged, seemingly indifferent.

“It was just a job. I can always get another one.”

Higgs nodded, murmuring a soft ‘oh’ as he leaned up from the bed. He winced a little as Y/N’s hand massaged near the crook of his neck where the withdrawals normally made him feel tense. He quietly uttered a thank you, closing his eyes and getting lost in Y/N’s touch; the touch that had grown on him over time and that he welcomed warmly.

“Does this mean you want to stay with me?” Higgs asked after a moment, opening his eyes to look at Y/N again.

“If you’ll have me.” Y/N said and Higgs’s couldn’t stop himself from smiling. He pulled Y/N to him as his mouth gently claimed theirs. It didn’t take too long for their movements to become heated. The tension from months on end finally doubling over into the kiss as they traded touch for touch. For the first time in his life, Higgs didn’t feel scared to have and to hold another human being.

**A link to my ko-fi account. If you enjoy my content and want to support me getting my monthly medication for fibromyalgia and arthritis, I would be eternally grateful. It is NOT a requirement however! All my work is free to read!**

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sebbybooks · 6 years ago

Text

Somewhere in Paradise (PT2)

Sebastian Stan x Fanfiction ~18+

Tagged for updates✈️

@asguardiansoftheavengers @mightiestheroes @ladifreakingda

Agh! Ok so I know I said this would only be a total of two parts, but I seemed to have gotten carried away and made it entirely too long. With that being said I decided to extend it and added one more part that I plan to post after this one. Which would then wrap the story up! I hope you gorgeous human beings enjoy this next part🐥💓

“Shit! Crap. Shit! Crap.”

I desperately hoped that I was simply blinded by my frustrations and that I was overlooking where I placed it. I frantically searched around the bar counter and the ground for my blue leather bound journal. I repeatedly asked the bartender could he keep checking to see if it had fallen over. After the fifth plea he eventually eyed me cautiously and went about his job like I no longer existed. To him I was just a crazed American that had a little too much to drink. I did not take my defeat gracefully.

I took my wedges off and stood in my chair to get a birds eye view of the parameter. I needed to see if someone had the gall to take it right in front of me. My search came up empty handed and I quickly stepped down once I realized how silly my actions must have looked. The bartender stared back at me with wide eyes and his temper held at bay. I collected my clutch and shoes in my hand before sending him an apologetic wave. One that he did not accept before pointing for me to leave. He didn’t have to tell me twice I was already humiliated enough for just one night to handle.

The rage that I felt only festered as I headed back to my hotel room. My ass was freezing in my thin wrap skirt that wouldn’t stop blowing up in the wind. I was tired, barefoot in Capri , and hungry for the food that I was promised. Truthfully enough I wasn’t surprised. Pissed off? Maybe, but surprised I was not! This is exactly what I get for thinking with my hormones and not my head.

It was such a euphoric feeling knowing I was just a few paces away from my room. I wanted to take a much needed shower, then sleep like the dead. I urgently needed to temporarily shut of my mind, because despite what just occurred I couldn’t stop thinking about the way Sebastian kissed me. An I foolishly let that gorgeous Disney loving asshole do it. I thought for sure by now the walk from Alessio’s would have erased the fantom feeling of Sebastian’s lips searing against mine. The taste of his mouth still lingered on my tongue. I clearly had a lot to drink because I badly wanted the remnants of him to stay.

The floor to my room had an unlit balcony. The only light that illuminated through the shadows was coming from across the way from buildings that sat on the serrated boulders that wrapped around the island. I reached into my clutch to feel around for my hotel key. I nearly had a heart attack when I walked up to my door.

“Sebastian?” My voice came out shrill as I was startled by his presence.

He was sitting with his back pressed against the door to my room. Sebastian rested his elbows on his knees and his hands were digging in his hair. He slowly tilted his head up to see me. The features on his face were hard to make out in the dark. As childish as it may have seemed I didn’t want to be the first one who spoke. I’m also pretty sure I unintentionally started to pout like one. The corners of Sebastian’s mouth began to quirk until he realized what he was doing. Pressing his lips together in a thin line he started to stand.

“Natalie.” Sebastian began to say, but I quickly cut him off.

“Do you have my journal?” I blurted out. I waited for him to tell me he took him. Hell, I hoped it was him that took it. I didn’t like the idea that it was in someone else’s hands but mine. The thought of someone reading my private thoughts this very second turned my stomach. Sebastian’s face scrunched up in confusion as I started to hear the word no.

“Well that’s that I guess.” I say encouragingly so he could get the memo to leave.I forced a smile that made my cheeks sore.

“Jesus. Natalie I feel like shit for leaving you there alone.” As he should feel, my inner thoughts chimed in. “I am a complete idiot that owes you an apology and a good explanation.” He kept his hands shoved deep in his pockets and his eyebrows were scrunched together in apprehension.

My mind was still swimming from those limoncello shots I’d consumed. Alongside that bombshell Sebastian left in my lap right after he selfishly kissed me like there was no tomorrow. “You don’t owe me anything.” Is all I have the courage to say. My voice doesn’t even sound like my own in my ears. It sounded tunneled and I could barely keep a straight face any longer.

Sebastian looked back at me astounded. He probably half expected me to scream till my lungs burned or yell at him for letting me on this entire time. I figured what was the point in doing all of the above. I sucked in a deep breath and stumbled forward. Before I fell face first into the door Sebastian swooped in to catch me in his arms.

Balancing me back on both of my feet he kept both of his arms secured around me. I thought they had finally dissipated for the night, but a shameless giggle escaped my lips yet again. My face was inches way from his neck. “You smell amazing ....like a candle.”

What the actual hell Natalie? I started to scream internally. See, this is exactly why I don’t drink. I can’t control the randomness that comes out of mouth. Even though what I said was very true. He smelled pretty damn good.

“Let’s get you inside.” I could tell he was holding back his own laughter. I inserted my room key and fumbled to get the door open. Sebastian guided me inside and at the threshold I quickly shut the door behind me. Leaving him standing shocked on the outside.

ONE YEAR LATER

I made sure before I left to securely tuck my white oriental lily in my hair behind my ear. After all this time I wanted Sebastian to see that I kept it and that I never once forgot. It was also a nice touch that complimented my solid red dress with a squared neckline that kept a modest amount of cleavage on display. Though it seems I’ll never learn when it comes to my choice in footwear. I could feel the cracked and pebbled pavement through my white fabric loafers with every step I took.

I needed to find something to do on the island to keep my mind busy and to pass the time. To which it went by painfully slow. I nearly lost count by how many times I checked the clock on my wristwatch,it was almost time. I finally found a quaint little eatery that served all types of gelato. The nostalgia consumed me as the almond butter and honey gelato melted onto my tastebuds. I couldn’t conceal the bashful grin that snuck onto my face. As the memories played back in my head.

He called my name several times more than likely waking up half of the guest on this floor. “Go to bed Sebastian!” I tried to keep a serious face even though I knew he couldn’t see it to which made me giggle even harder.

“Open the door Natalie I need to talk to you.” His fist pounded on the door.

“Why so you can further humiliate me and use me as a distraction from your own problems?” My voice rang cold and it even stung a little coming out of my own mouth. I threw my purse and shoes onto the floor. For a second I thought he had left. I heard a huge thud hit the door and I could only imagine that it was him resting his head on my door.

“I am so sorry.” I could hear the honesty in his words. But still they meant nothing to me. I sat on the edge of the bed staring back at the other end of the door. “It took everything in me to make that flight.” Sebastian’s voice went hoarse. “For weeks I was in nothing but pain then suddenly it was like my entire body grew accustomed to the feeling. That morning it felt like I was walking around with weights on.”

I thought about moving away from the door and ignoring him completely. Like magnetism, my entire body was facing where the door was. I couldn’t turn around even if I wanted to.

“When I heard that it was announced as delayed. I took it as my sign that getting on without her was a fucking bad idea. I convinced myself it wouldn’t even be the same if she wasn’t with me. Fuck! Natalie I was so relieved to not be going anymore.”Liquid heat pooled through me as I heard his voice break. I scooted off the edge of the bed to sit on the floor in front of it without taking my eyes off the wooden door that separated us.

“I started to leave and that’s when I saw you sitting in a lounge chair deep in thought huddled over your notebook.” I bit down on the inside of my cheek and I lowered myself in my own embrace. Bracing for what Sebastian was going to say next. “You didn’t notice me but I stood there and watched you for a while. I couldn’t believe you were actually sitting there. I had only seen your picture in the backs of the books Bianca was always reading.” He swallowed, Sebastian struggled to say her name like he didn’t deserve to possess it.

“I knew who you were Natalie. You were one her favorite authors and I knew it was her final way of getting to me.” His deep voiced managed to weave its way through my chest.

I struggled to stand on my feet, still feeling slightly uncoordinated. I made me way over to the door unsure of what I was planning to do next. I opened my mouth wanting to say something to Sebastian. Without thinking I guided my hand to twist the door open.

He was just as surprised as I was that I even opened it. Sebastian rubbed his hand over his jaw, his fingers digging into his perfectly shaven face. My room was pitch black and I dropped my hand from the door as I turned away from it. A few moments later I heard it close and for a split second I was actually more afraid that he left. Pathetic I know.

I turned around just to be sure and once I stopped seeing three figures of him I finally found my words. “You didn’t have to explain anything Sebastian.” I said carefully.

He let out a dry laugh. The muscle in his jaw flexed actively. “No Natalie I did.” We stood awkwardly in the middle of my room. Neither one of us moved an inch. I wetted my dry lips with my tongue . My entire mouth felt dry.

“Be right back I’m going to get a glass of water.” I moved one step forward but I ended up falling back on my butt onto the bed.

“Why don’t I get it for you?” He asked cautiously. I nodded slowly my head filling heavy. I moved further up the bed until I reached the headboard. I threw nearly half the pillows off the bed and kicked my legs under the blanket. Sebastian emerged from the bathroom holding a glass of water in his hands. He bent down to hand it to me and I took it.

“Can I ask you something?” I brought the glass to my mouth and drank nearly all of it.

Sebastian cleared his throat. “Anything.”

I moved my feet in attempt for him to sit at the foot of the bed. He caught ahold to my gesture and eased himself down to sit.

“Did you only want me to keep you company here because. . . .I reminded you of Bianca?” My words came out slow and I searched his eyes for the hard truth that was sure to come.

“At first I did.” I was caught off guard by how fast he answered. My heart just about sank into the pit of my stomach. I’m use to writing about heartbreak. Being on the receiving end stung like a bitch. I looked away from him and stared out my window, directly looking back at the moon. I didn’t want to watch him when he left. I was taken aback when he started to say more.

“When I saw how different you were from her I couldn’t look away Natalie. You were this crazy beautiful woman that breathed air back into me. And that was simply just from talking to you. It felt wrong at first like I was betraying her somehow, but I couldn’t help but feel selfish too.” Sebastian edged closer looking back at me with brooding eyes that made my breathing hitch into my lungs.

“What if I told I didn’t want to see you again after today?” I whispered to him.

He eyed me for a moment before leaning forward. As if he didn’t want me to miss a single word he was about to say. “Then I will just have to drive myself mad wondering about you.”

I mashed my lips together, inhaling sharply. I’m not gonna lie his words felt good to hear. Who knew also a person’s voice could sound so sexy? I wondered if anyone ever told him that. I could never say it out loud, because it was on the list of words that made me cringe. For a split second I hoped like hell I was saying all of this in my head. I’d soon realized I was having a full on conversation in my head when I noticed Sebastian look at me like it was for the last time. His face changed from pensive to neutral. I wanted things to go back to what I considered normal between the two of us. So I said the only thing I knew that would make him smile.

“We’re all mad here.” I said, groggily.

“I’m sorry you’re going to have to repeat yourself. I don’t think I heard you.” Sebastian shook his head in amusement or satisfaction that I was turning into a geek like him.

I playfully rolled my eyes as my eyelids grew heavier until I couldn’t fight my sleep any longer. I swear before I closed my eyes it looked like he was going to bend down to kiss me on the forehead , but he swiftly decided against it. I felt his weight lift off the mattress followed by a click on my door. Sebastian was gone.

I surprisingly liked waking up to the warm sunlight basking on my face right as I opened my eyes. While I loved seeing the illusion of the sun balancing itself on top of the ocean. I needed to close my curtains, because just as expected my head throbbed viscously. When I turned around to walk back to my bed I noticed a note sitting on top of my nightstand with a bouquet of white oriental lilies near a travel size pack of Tylenol.

Without hesitation I reached for the Tylenol and took both tablets with the rest of the lukewarm water from a few hours ago. I was too impatient to try and find my glasses so that I could read the handwritten note Sebastian left. Squinting my eyes to try to get them to focus it read:

Natalie,

I thought I’d let you know that I ran off with your room key. Don’t worry I plan on returning it to you. I just needed an excuse to see you again just in case you realized I wasn’t worth seeing after last night. To be honest I hope that’s not what you’re thinking. Wipe that horrified look off your face that I’m growing to like so much. Relax, I’m still not planning on stalking you. Even though this looks slightly incriminating. I just wanted to give you my sincerest apologies again. If it at alp felt like I was only using you as a distraction I hope you believe me when I say you weren’t. I was drowning in my sorrows long before I met you and you were just the emergency lifejacket that I didn’t know I needed. To put it simple. Before this gets way too deep this early in the morning and you wake up while I write this I would really like it if you’d join me for breakfast. I’ll be on the balcony in the east wing on the fifth floor. By the way you smile in your sleep if you didn’t already know that. -Sebastian

I stared at the paper for what felt like a century. I wondered how long ago was it even written and even more importantly why was I still standing there? I folded the note neatly before setting it back down on the table next to the beautiful arrangement that smelled heavenly. I didn’t have anything to put them in and I wasn’t quite sure if I already missed breakfast.

I quickly hopped in the shower, shaved, and got dress. I threw on a pair of denim shorts, stripe black and white T-shirt , and my black Birkenstocks. I needed to conceal the bags under my eyes and the most makeup I planned on wearing this morning was my trusty cherry chapstick. I threw out nearly all of the contents in my duffel bag looking for a pair of sunglasses. I shuddered at the mess I made, but I was in a rush.

The stairway to the fifth floor was short. I just had to walk down an endless hallway. Breathing in I could smell the sea breeze as if it were right beside me. The view in Capri was something I could never get use to. When I finally reached the end of the balcony I didn’t think it would be possible to behold something even better.

“Hey.” Sebastian’s smile reached his eyes. His blue eyes lit up once he saw me.

“Hi.” I couldn’t keep my eyes trained on just one thing. The view behind him was absolutely breathtaking. The skyline blended into the bluest water I’d ever seen. Sebastian had a lavish breakfast set up in a secluded seating area with white canopy drapes wrapped around the tall wooden post. It was the perfect hideaway spot, even though the space could approximately fit twenty people. I took a seat across from Sebastian and plopped down on a tall cushion that was comfier than it looked. “I really hope that’s orange juice and not a mimosa.” I said pulling my glasses off my face and into my hair.

All across the table was an assortment of brightly colored sliced fruit. Apples, kiwi, cantaloupe, oranges, pineapples, and grapes were actually colored coordinated on a gigantic white tray. Short cylinder glasses with yogurt had crushed granola on top with blueberries and strawberries blended in them. Which was placed right alongside freshly buttered plain and almond croissants. It didn’t even end there. Tiny fruit tarts, bagels, chocolate chip muffins, banana nut muffins and stacked golden brown waffles were strategically placed with several long strips of bacon. The only thing that was missing was coffee. Wait. Wait! I spoke too soon!

“I didn’t know what you like so I ordered everything.” He nervously looked down at the mouthwatering feast before us. I tried to let that be the only thing I drooled over. Something was different about him.

“You cut your hair!” I exclaimed, when the realization finally struck me. I cursed myself for my awkwardness and inability to keep my thoughts locked away in my head. Sebastian tilted his head to the side coyly.

“I did.” He answered, his eyes scanning over me slowly. It made me wish I’d put a littler more effort into my outfit. The comment he made last night still played on loop in my ears. I instinctively shook my head as I reached for a muffin.

“It’s that bad huh?” He asked over the brim of his mug.

“No no I like it.” I admitted, keeping my true opinion to myself. As much as I liked it long, shorter hair suited him best. I forced myself to look away from him. I wasn’t going to fall victim to his soulful stare any longer. This would be so much better if he were ugly. I took a huge bite into the banana nut muffin. I couldn’t tell if I was simply starving or it was the best damn muffin I’d ever eaten. One bite led to another and another till I was practically devouring it. I couldn’t control the sounds of satisfaction that came with every bite.

“Do I need to give you a moment or are you through making love to that muffin?” I just about face planted into the table. His laughter filled the air and I wanted to evaporate. I mentally prepared how fast I could pack my suitcase and change hotels. It’s a relatively big island what were the odds I’d run into again. Right?

“You’re doing that thing where you’re overthinking again.” His lips cracked a grin.

I leaned back a little just enough so that I wouldn’t fall and I could see his face. My heart was constantly getting workouts in his presence. His light green buttoned down shirt was barely buttoned. What was with this guy and not keeping his shirts closed? Not that I was complaining. In the daylight I saw the symbol around his long silver chain clearly. What I previously had thought was some odd charm turned out to be an anchor. I wondered if it meant anything to Sebastian or better yet if Bianca gave it to him.

“What are you thinking about?” Sebastian asked cutting through my daze.

“Why did you want to kiss me last night?” I don’t even know why asked him that. It was like the question had been sitting on my tongue since the moment his lips left left mine.

Sebastian’s shoulders visibly tensed from the memory of all that happened yesterday. I should be more upset about my missing journal, but I’m more fixated on what’s going on inside his head. “I don’t know.” He answered, then laughed dryly. “Actually I do.” He added. Sebastian’s eyes met mine for the longest time.

“Why?” I repeated again, but my voice came out in a raspy whisper.

“Because Natalie it was killing me not to. I was angry at myself for even thinking it was a possibility. I thought if I kissed you once I would get it out of my system, but it seemed to have had the reverse effect on me. An I know that’s not fair to you or Bianca.” His breathing stalled.

I wanted to tell him that the kiss between us was no big deal and that it didn’t have to mean anything. I would gladly like to put it behind us and let it go. Though I’m sure he’d make a Queen Elsa joke about it and use his humor as a crutch. I could tell the hurt that he felt was beyond my comprehension. Sebastian was still holding onto the loss of his girlfriend and it wasn’t my place to pry for answers. Heaven knows I haven’t known him long enough to even ask how she died. One thing I did know was that a line would have to be drawn between us. But if I told him that when he kissed me I didn’t feel electricity from head to toe, I’d be a complete liar.

“Forgive me?” He conjoined both of his hands together to make a fist and rested his chin on top of them. Sebastian’s face held an emotional expression as he tried to study my face for my answer.

I tossed a slice of cantaloupe in my mouth pretending to mull over his question. Of course I forgave him. I just didn’t want to look like I was easy. Well I sort of already gave that impression when I played tonsil hockey with him. “I accept your apology.” I said as I reached for another slice.

I glanced up in his direction and already saw a his lips turn upwards. I had to immediately put a pin in my thoughts when I started to fantasize about what it would feel like to have his lips all over my body. “On one condition!” I said a little too loudly.

“What’s the condition?” He asked.

“We need ground rules.” I stated confidently.

“Ground rules?” He repeated slowly.

“It’s just one.”

“Ok what is it?” Sebastian pressed two fingers against his pursed lips and he moved closer as if he would miss it.

“If we are going to have a real friendship for the duration of this trip. You can not kiss me again.” I said truthfully...I think.

“So I can’t look at you like a banana nut muffin?”

I nearly choked on the fruit I was eating. His lips twitched like he wanted to smile on behalf of my embarrassment once again.

“Nope.” I say breathlessly, not even bothering to have a comeback with a witty remark.

“Alright...friend.” Sebastian extended his hand out for me to shake and for a second I thought he was joking. His arm was still in midair and I reached forward to place my hand in his. He laughed when I started to shake his hand in agreement. I’m pretty sure this was all humorous to him and he didn’t quite believe me.

ONE YEAR LATER

One of my favorite stories ever written is by Oscar Wilde. There was one quote in particular from The Picture of Dorian that floated in and out of my head all while being back in Capri. It didn’t quite feel like the first time being back here. Last time it was new and I admit I liked not knowing what tomorrow was going to bring. Sebastian had awakened something inside of me in those short weeks of knowing him. All the while simultaneously leaving a hole that deep down I knew could never be filled.

I pulled my camera from around my shoulder and adjusted the lens until I knew that the exquisite scenery would be in focus. I regretted not getting the shot last time. Seeing it again for the second time I knew it wouldn’t be the same. It was better. I placed the cap back onto the lens and delicately placed it back into my bag carefully tucking it between miscellaneous items and my nearly filled up journal that I cannot be without. I sat back on the bench and stared out at the sunset, wondering anxiously if he was going to come. “Some things are more precious because they don’t last long.”

Halfway into my second week in Capri every morning felt like I had just arrived. I had convinced myself that there was no possible way I could ever get use to this. With Sebastian’s help there wasn’t a place here that didn’t go unseen by me. The pass few days with Sebastian strangely enough were pleasant. There wasn’t a single mention of Bianca and I don’t know why but I almost wanted him to bring her up. In more ways than one I kept comparing myself to her and I knew absolutely nothing about her. What makes it even more twisted was that I wanted to.

I wished I had my journal with me so that I could write down the beauty before me but I couldn’t. As lame as it sounds I had always had this urge to write every little thought that wiggled its way into my head. I suppose that’s why I wanted to be a writer in the first place. You could literally paint a picture by using words alone.

“You’re going to miss the surprise if you don’t hurry up.” Sebastian’s voiced sounded muffled coming from my room. I stood in the bathroom in front of the mirror trying to zip up the back of my dress. It was an infuriating feeling not having longer arms!

“When do I get to know this surprise and does it involve a body bag?” I called back out.

“That reminds me how tall are you again?”

I stepped out of the bathroom sticking my head out eyeing him with a somewhat menacing glare that fell flat. Sebastian grinned almost too pleased with himself.

“The whole point of a surprise is to you know . . .be surprised.” He said sarcastically, before I moved back into the bathroom. I’m not going to lie I was tiny bit excited. Okay, okay! I pretty fucking excited. I had no clue where Sebastian was taking me. He had entered my room with the room key he has yet to return to me. Walking in literally as the sun began to rise. No seriously I timed it.

“I’m almost done getting ready!” I yelled, nearly almost out of breath. I kept failing miserably trying to get the zipper to go up. I really liked what I had on and I’d knew he’d complain if I changed my outfit again. The door for the bathroom pushed open and Sebastian leaned his body in the doorframe eyeing me in the mirror.

“A little privacy!” I said, trying to push the door on him.

“My eyes are up here.” He waved his finger at eye level.

I couldn’t fight my smile. “Since you’re in here mind lending a helping hand?” Sebastian quirked his eyebrow in confusion. I lifted my hair and turned around my back facing him. A few long seconds went by before I heard him say anything.

“Oh yeah sure.” His voice wavered as he moved closer to stand behind me. He brought his hands to my bare back and I could feel the backs of his knuckles rub against my skin. I reacted to his touch like his hands were made of ice. My feet involuntarily stumbled forward.

“Everything good?”

“Just peachy.” I lied. I heard as the zipper moved up my dress at a terribly slow speed. For about a millisecond I wondered what it would feel like if the actions were in reverse. I closed my eyes silently wishing for the intensifying ache to go far far away. One innocent touch from Sebastian triggered this primal hunger that grew with need by the second. I drew in a deep breath wondering how much more of that damn zipper could possibly exist. Until I realized his hands were no longer on me.

He was still standing behind me. I turned around to face Sebastian who had a dark a feral glint in his eyes. “We should get going.” He says, as he nearly dashed out of the bathroom.I should really be ashamed of my developing weakness for that man.

When I walked into my room he was no where to be found. I opened the door half expecting him to long gone. Something bad obviously just shifted between us. “It took you long enough. Let’s get to the surprise!” I say animatedly, trying to make a joke. I had hoped he’d catch on to my forced enthusiasm.

Sebastian only offered a tight lipped smile. “Yeah.” His tone was flat, and he turned on his heals of his shoes to walk off leaving me absolutely clueless. What the hell just happened?

I followed in behind Sebastian like a lost puppy which was very annoying to say the least. He didn’t speak the entire way and he walked insanely fast like I would be able to easily keep up with him. I was out of breath by the time he finally was decent enough to talk to me. “We are here.” He called out over his shoulder. I was bent over with my hands resting on my knees panting. “I’m going to go get everything set up with Ian.”

I didn’t bother to look up I was too enraged with a newfound hatred and did he know everyone here on a first name basis? When my breathing settled I finally stood up only to lose it again. In the distance one look and I knew where I was. I’d seen that underwater cave in countless photos before.

I don’t know how long I had been staring down at what was known as the Blue Grotto, but Sebastian returned with a lankier man who was much taller than him.“You must beNatalie. I’m Ian you and I’ll be your boat guide for the private tour today.”

“Captain Ian here will be guiding us into the cave then we will do the rest solo.” Sebastian looked between Ian and I.

“I told you not to call me that.” Ian playful slapped the back of his hand against his shoulder jokingly. If I wasn’t spiraling down a cluster fuck of confused emotions for Sebastian. I might have actually seen how cute Ian was. I wondered if behind that blinding pearly white smile and beautiful tan skin was a dead girlfriend he pinned after?

Harsh Natalie.

The boat was insanely small. I nearly lost all sense of balance when I stepped inside last. Sebastian outstretched his hand for me to take it but I ignored the gesture. It rocked steadily back and forth while Ian pulled us through from another boat. We were coming upon the entrance to the cave.

“You’re going to have to crouch down really low so that you can fit inside!” He called ahead of us.

I sucked in a nervous breath as I bent down as far as humanly possible in the boat forcing my eyes shut. After about a minute in a half I peeked over my shoulder to see that Sebastian began to sit upright.

“Wow.” I said out loud.

Looking around the cave it was the most serene thing I’d ever witnessed. The water was an opulent turquoise blue with a sparkling reflection of sunlight coming through the small opening. I looked around me and I noticed that no one else was in sight.

“So this is how it ends.” I half turned around to sit and face Sebastian.

“It wasn’t easy but for the next hour we have the place to ourselves.” He beamed.

My ankles were still sore from wearing my wedges and my legs were bent in an uncomfortable seating position. Slowly none of that started to matter. This place was absolutely majestic it felt like any moment a mythical creature would come popping out.

As Sebastian rowed the boat we sat in a comfortable silence for a while. He had gone from his joking and talkative self to this stoic enigma of a man.

After a while I couldn’t resist the urge to talk. “Did you and Bianca like it here.” I cringed as the question rolls of off my tongue. I don’t bother looking behind me when I’m greeted with silence.

“No.” He finally says. Carefully not to rock the boat I turn my head to look back at him. He searched my eyes for a long tense moment, looking at me like I was either the most confusing or annoying thing in existence. “She had a fear of tight spaces. So the thought of even coming here never once crossed my mine until now.”

My eyes darted away from him. “Sorry I don’t mean to be intrusive. You’re like this puzzle I can’t seem to figure out. I have all the pieces I just don’t seem to know where to start.”

“If I am so puzzling then what does that make you Natalie Foster?”

“A confused mess.” I sighed, staring down at the water. Sebastian placed the paddle down beside us and leaned closer to me.

“What’s making you so confused?” His grin faltered and the look on his face was replaced with compassion. I stayed quiet, not trusting the thoughts that loomed in my head. How was I going to explain to Sebastian something that I didn’t even understand myself? Those blue eyes burned straight through me with an fierceness I couldn’t wrap my head around.

“You run from hot to cold and I can’t keep up and I’m doing the same thing.” I whispered.

Sebastian slowly shook his head. “I know.” He breathed unevenly. I couldn’t deny what was happening and I almost laughed at how impossibly fast it was going. I was living in the world of my own making. I made up stories like this one, not live them.

I felt Sebastian’s hand grab hold of my face and turn it to his. He was leaning in closer to me causing me to lose all pretense. “The timing here surely is fucked up.”

I couldn’t agree more. Without thinking he gently stroked his fingers over my lips. Sebastian studied every small detail in my face. His eyes examined the curve of my face, stopping at my eyes, before lowering his lingering gaze to my lips. Out of nowhere to completely ruin the moment I felt something brush against my leg in a feather light sensation causing me to jump frantically. An if that wasn’t the cherry on top my rapid movements caused the boat to tip over, pushing us in. Resurfacing to the top I wiped wet strands of hair away from my eyes I sucked in a gasp of air. Fuck if that water wasn’t freezing!

“Natalie!” Sebastian swam closer to me in a frenzy. “What happened? Are you okay?” Droplets of water fell from his beautifully tortured face.

“I thought a bug was on me.” I couldn’t conceal my embarrassment as I bobbed up and down in the water.

“A bug?” He repeated, clearly mocking my stupidity. Sebastian wrapped his hand around my back effortlessly pulling me closer to him. My pulse quickened when he rested his forehead against mine. His breath was warm against my mouth and smelled of mint. I wondered if that was what he would taste like this time. The last time we kissed it was restrained. We were both equally holding back.

I gripped his biceps nearly digging my nails in them. “Is it okay if I break our rule?” I gasped.

His lips brushed again mine before answering me. He didn’t hesitate or slowly contemplate his actions. Sebastian groaned against my mouth, as they parted opened in anticipation of what was to come. He pulled into me, holding my head to gain all sense for control. It was as if we were desperately clinging to one another, it was a kiss so carnal I was convinced we’d eventually implode. Sebastian’s hand traveled down my waist in search for my legs. He pulled them up higher to wrap around him.

I couldn’t control my toppling emotions that darted from frustration, desire, and the chaos I was definitely tangling myself in. I was unable to decipher which one I was feeling, because every fiber of my being responded to him. The motion of the water caused my body to sink even closer to Sebastian. I rolled my hips against him as he griped my legs even tighter. His lips were wet from the water and slightly cold, but the warm caress of his tongue against mine sent my body into overdrive. Kissing Sebastian was highly addictive. I could only imagine what it would be like if we didn’t have to stop.

As if just by thinking it I somehow jinxed it. Appearing out of nowhere I hear Ian clear his throat. “You guy’s hour is nearly up and it’s going to get busy in here soon. An by that I am not referring to the two of you.” He stated.

For a split second I had almost forgotten that he was inside with us. We had broke apart and I was too afraid to know what Sebastian was thinking. I was more so afraid that he’d regret it. I dropped my legs from him as we both tried to desperately catch our breath I was slightly surprised that he didn’t let me go. I was even more surprised when he leaned to give me a chaste kiss on the mouth.

My dress clung to every particle on my body. Sebastian and I caught a few stares as we walked back to our hotel. It was a sunny and hot day out and we looked like we were somewhere with constant rain. “Where are you going?” Sebastian asked, as he halfway stepped off the elevator.

My teeth chattered together when I talked. “To my room.”

“What for?” He genuinely looked oblivious to my need for heading up to my hotel room.

“I have to get out of my dress. It’s becoming heavier.” I laughed.

“I have clothes you can change into in my room.” He shrugged it off absentmindedly. Sebastian’s smile made me smile, but I quickly shook my head.

“Well I also wanted to go get gelato.” I admittedly sheepishly.

“And what would stop you?”He asked as he pulled me to his side.

Sebastian’s room looked almost identical to mine but slightly bigger. His bed that was perfectly made unlike mine wasn’t facing out the window. He had his clothes pulled out of his suitcase and they were neatly hung on hangers in the closet. His shoes were strategically placed out in front it.

“ I thought I was a neat freak.” I poked fun. I was about to sit on his bed but I quickly stood up not wanting to get it wet.

Sebastian walked back over to me with clothes in hand aiming his cool gaze at me. “Mind if I take a quick shower?”

“By all means.” I saluted lamely. He gripped the bottom of his soaked shirt within a nanosecond he pulled it off his head. His back muscles flexed and contorted. I faked a cough and tried to ignore the fact that he was changing right in front of me. I wasn’t sure if he was doing it on purpose or he was a carefree spirit. But when he tugged his jeans and boxers off in one swift motion as he walked into his bathroom. I just about lost it at the sight of his nakedness. I was convinced his ass was sculpted from stone.

I needed a shower just as badly but I had to find some restraint within the depths of myself to keep it together. I searched around the room for a spare blanket or a towel. I could barely see and I almost tripped over Sebastian’s bag that sat in the middle of the floor. I bent down to pick it up to put it somewhere else when my journal came toppling out.

{Part 1 out of 3}

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emotionsofthesoul · 6 years ago

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Chapter 20 _ Perdón

When Juliana opened the door she could not believe who it was. Her mother was standing right outside her door. Juliana didn’t know how to react, whether to let her in or close the door.

“What are you doing here?” Juliana said after staring at her mother for what felt like hours.

“Your dad told me you moved here and that he was coming to dinner with you.” Lupe said avoiding eye contact.

Juliana began to get angry at her mother. “Okay yes dad is coming to dinner with me and my girlfriend, the woman that I love, but what are YOU doing here? I thought I was your greatest shame and you wanted nothing to do with me if I was with Valentina. So why are you here?”

“Puedo pasar?” Lupe asked hopeful.

“No. What do you want?” Juliana said standing out of her apartment closing the door behind her and crossing her arms against her chest.

Lupe’s hopeful face fell. “July don’t be like this, I just want to talk. I’m not here to fight.”

Juliana simply raised her eyebrow encouraging her mother to continue.

“I would really like to talk inside with you.” Lupe said.

Juliana stood her ground against her mother. “I don’t want you in my apartment, it’s the place I plan to share with Valentina and I don’t want your homophobic energy around it. I love you mom but I’m in love with Valentina and you’re not going to change how I feel about her.”

Lupe let out a sigh in defeat at Juliana’s defensiveness. “That’s why I’m here, Juliana. I’m not here to try and talk you out of it. I know this is not a phase, I get it. You love her and I can’t get in the way of that. I want you happy, you’re my baby and I just want to protect you. I thought that by keeping you away from her I was doing the right thing but that just backfired completely. I’m here to say I’m sorry. I’m not ashamed of you and I’m actually really proud of you. Your father has kept me up to speed on your life since you left and how well it’s going and I’m really happy. I know we always fought about school but I’m glad you’re going after your dreams. Thank you for giving me 18 years, I’ll step away if you need me to but know that I love you and I always will. You know where to find me baby. Take care please. Te amo, y perdón por todo lo que te dije aquel dia.”

Juliana didn’t know what to say and Lupe took her silence as her answer. Her mother began to turn around and walk away with her posture showing her defeat. When Juliana finally realized what was happening she stretched her arm out to grab her mother’s hand pulling her towards her into a hug.

Lupe was taken aback by her daughter’s hug but embraced her tightly regardless. Juliana began to cry against her mother’s shoulder. “Gracias mami.”

“Te amo, corazón. Predóname.” Lupe said as she let tears fall from her eyes as well and she kissed the top of Juliana’s head.

After a few minutes they separated from their embrace and Juliana looked up at her mother’s eyes. “Would you like to stay for dinner?”

A huge smile invaded Lupe’s face as she said, “I would love that. Thank you.”

Juliana was about to open the door when she noticed Valentina standing awkwardly with her hands full just looking at the two of them with a smile on her face.

“Baby, Val. You should have said something, here let me help you with that!” Juliana said smiling at Valentina.

“I didn’t want to interrupt. Everything okay?” Valentina said as Juliana took some of the bags from Valentina and leaned in to give her a peck on the lips.

“Right in front of your mom’s salad, really?” Valentina said laughing and getting red.

Juliana let out a chuckle and linked her arm with Valentina’s while shaking her head and walking towards her mother. “She’s staying for dinner. I’ll tell you about it later though. I love you.”

“I love you too Juls.” Valentina said as they approached her girlfriend’s mother.

Juliana and Valentina stood together in front of Lupe. Valentina extended her hand for Lupe to take and said, “Hola señora Valdes, how are you?”

“Bien, Valentina, what about you?” Lupe responded while accepting the handshake.

There was an awkward pause and Juliana decided to cut in. “Well let’s go inside, yeah?” She said as she opened the door and led the way, dragging Valentina in with her as her mother followed.

“It’s looking good Juls. How are you this fast it’s looking great and you’ve only had around 3 hours to set up!” Val said as she set the bags of groceries on the counter. She stopped by the store on her way to Juliana’s new apartment to get the girl some food for the refrigerator and the pantry.

Juliana smiled as she took out the 3 boxes of Oreos Valentina brought to the apartment knowing they were Juliana’s favorite. It was definitely the little things that made her heart happy.

Lupe sat at the table while she observed the interaction between her daughter and Valentina. She saw how easily they got along and how gentile they were with each other.

As the hour went by they got more comfortable between the three of them and got into easy conversation. By the time Juliana’s father arrived he was surprised to find his wife there but glad to see that there was no hostility.

“Mija, I’m glad you and mother are speaking again.” Chino told Juliana as they shared a hug.

“Me too, dad.” Juliana said.

They enjoyed a lovely dinner as a family. Juliana & Valentina updated her mother on the news that she was accepted into the fashion school and that she was managing Renata’s new shop. By the end of the night they were all laughing and telling jokes. Lupe sat back as she observed how happy her daughter truly was.

When Chino & Lupe decided to call it a night they helped clean up the table and eventually said goodbye to the girls.

“I’m glad you and your mom are back on speaking terms baby.” Valentina said as she wrapped her arms around Juliana and placed her chin on her shoulder as Juliana closed the door after her parents departure.

Juliana turned around in Valentina’s arms and wrapped her arms around Valentina’s neck.

“Me too, baby. I missed her.” Juliana said as she leaned her forehead against Valentina’s.

Valentina closed her eyes taking in Juliana’s scent. She loved her perfume and since the night of the gallery show she felt even closer to her.

“Thank you for sticking by me, I don’t know where I would’ve been without you.” Juliana said leaning against Valentina’s chest.

Valentina wrapped her arms tighter around Juliana and kissed her head.

“I love you.” Valentina whispered against Juliana’s head as she held her.

“& I love you, Valentina Carvajal.” Juliana said as he leaned her head up to capture Valentina’s lips in her own.

The girls finished cleaning up and turned the lights off before heading back to the loft. Juliana was still staying with Valentina while her furniture arrived. Most importantly her bed because sleeping on the floor was not an option Valentina would allow.

#juliantina #juliana valdes #valentina carvajal #Forever #forever ch20 #juliantinafics

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lin-karu · 6 years ago

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Grief

{All Might x Reader}

//This oneshot takes place after the death of Nana Shimura. You and Toshinori are two U.A. students but you can’t help but worry about your best friend as he hasn’t been showing up to classes. Especially since he just lost his mentor.

//Art not mine :)

You slam open the door of classroom 1-A. Your eyes scan over all of the students in the classroom. All of them were staring at you in bewilderment but you didn’t care about what they thought. Your eyes landed on the empty desk next to yours. Your eyes narrowed ‘Damn it, Toshi...’ you thought. Your heart sank to your stomach, it was the fifth day that he’s missed school.

You already knew what was wrong with him, it was the loss of his master. You had met her several times and she was always so kind to everyone. Toshinori was very fond of her, stuck to her side like a loyal puppy, it was adorable. You were snapped out of your thoughts by the sound of your homeroom teacher. “(L/n)!” Your head shot up. “Please take your seat” your teacher motioned to your seat, third row, far right. You shook your head taking a few steps back. “I’m sorry! But I can’t! I have to do something” you shout over your shoulder as you turn back down to the hallway.

You began to run, shoes hitting the linoleum floors with a loud rhythm. You ran down the stairs the voice of your friends and teacher fading away the further you went. You were worried about Toshinori, you were his best friend and you knew everything about him, and you knew he definitely wasn’t acting like himself. You got out of the doors of U.A. and grabbed your bike that was parked to the side of the entrance. Then you were off to go and help Toshi, knowing that he needed it.

The wind blew past you, your hair flowing back behind you. You cycled to your neighborhood, luckily you and Toshinori met as kids. You guys grew up together and you guys lived fairly close to each other. You huffed to catch your breath and your legs burned from the speed at which you raced down the streets of Japan. You went past your own house and kept going, there was no point in taking a break now. Eventually you made it to a small rather plain looking home, a nice and cozy atmosphere surrounding it.

Jumping off your bike you soon realized that wasn’t a great idea as your legs felt like jello. You pushed yourself up and forward, ignoring the weird feeling of your legs. You got up to the door and pounded on it “Toshi! Open up!” You yell loud enough for him to hear. You waited around for a few minutes and scoff ‘I’m missing class for this...’ You thought. You walked around the side of the house and looked up at what you knew to be Toshinoris bedroom window. Picking up a small pebble you threw it at his window a small clink could be heard as it bounced off the glass.

Shuffling could be heard from inside as Toshinori poked his head through the curtains. His eyes looked down and then widened ‘(Y-Y/n!)’ you saw him mouth though you couldn’t hear his voice from there. You smiled and waved at the boy and watched him disappear from the window. Walking back around the house you got back to the door at the exact moment that he opened it. Without a second thought you walk forward through the door and hug the slightly taller boy. Toshinori let out a small noise of surprise, “What are you doing here?, You should be at school” he said and you scowl. The boy immediately shut his mouth as you shoved a finger into his chest.

“I should be the one saying that to you!, you haven’t been to school in the past week!” You said angrily. “I was worried about you, you seriously are asking me why I’m here?” You say eyes looking over the house. It was dark, the light turned off, the only source of light being the small amount of light shining through the window’s blinds. Your eyes softened, the place was a mess, stuff lazily toss where they don’t belong. A pile of ramen noodle cups laid empty on the counter. You pick up one of them, “Is this all that you’ve been eating?” You ask looking over your shoulder. He had a guilty look on his face, like a puppy that just got scolded.

You frown “Toshi...” you say placing the cup down. You begin to see his shoulders shake and his chest heave. His head was hung and his hair was covering his face. You reach up arms around his neck and hands placed on the back of his head. You pull him downwards into your embrace, his arms wrapping around you tightly. Clinging onto you as if you were the last thing in the world. “I’m so sorr-” you stop him, “Hush, It’s okay, Don’t be sorry because it’s not your fault.” You say rubbing the back of his head and other hand dropping to rub his back.

He let out a small sob, hands gripping onto your school uniform. “I-It hurts, it hurts so much” he said in his broken voice. You felt tears welling up in your own eyes. His face buried itself into your neck letting out more cries. You placed your head on top of his “I know, just let it out” you said soothingly. Here you stood holding the broken remnants of your best friend. You both stood there for what seemed like forever, his sobs and cries slowly becoming small whimpers. You pulled away and looked at his tear stained face.

You wiped away his tears from his red, puffy eyes. His blue eyes looked dull, no longer the lively bright blue they once were. “You’ll be alright, I promise, we’ll pull through this” You smiled. “Now, would Nana want you to wear such a sad smile?” You ask and your hands go up to his cheeks. You pulled the corners of his lips into a smile, something you always saw Nana do to Toshinori. Despite the tears in your eyes you smiled, you wanted to be strong for him. He needed someone, and you decided that you’d be that person. “Smile for her Toshinori, Don’t let her work be in vain!” You say to him and he nods.

You let go of him and walk over to the windows opening them up to let the light in. “Alright! First things first, we need to do something about this mess” you say gesturing to the wide open room. Toshinori stared at you with a bit of admiration, thankfulness and also a bit of confusion. “(Y/n)!, it’s fine you don’t have to do this!” He said but you smirk and put your hand up. “I’m not hearing it today! You’ve been so gloomy lately Toshi, and I’m gonna put a stop to it, even if I have to fight you” you grin and wink at him before turning around to begin cleaning up.

ヾ(๑╹◡╹)ﾉ"い ~Several Hours Later~ ヾ(๑╹◡╹)ﾉ"い

You fall back into the couch cushions beside Toshinori with an exhausted sigh. “Finally done!” You groan leaning You head back with a content smile. You and Toshinori were able to make the whole place completely spotless after a lot of hard work. Toshi looked over at you studying your features a small smile on his lips. You were always going over the top for people, being kind and generous, sticking your own neck out of the line for others. A small chuckle left his lips which caused you to open one eye and glare over at him. “What’re you laughing at moron?” You asked quirking an eyebrow up at him. Your attempt to insult him only made him laugh even more. “It’s nothing, you really haven’t changed have you?, You’re still the same as when we were kids” he said turning to look towards the ceiling. His arms folded behind his head as he mindlessly thought.

You smiled shaking your head “Of course I haven’t changed, neither have you, You’re still that weird little kid I met all those years ago” You said to him. “But, I like that about you, we were both weird in someway, I guess that’s just what makes us click” you say your heart skipping a beat in your chest. “Remember when you beat up that kid for bullying me?” Toshinori asked with a smirk. You nodded and laughed “I remember it just like yesterday!, the little brat got what he deserved, of course I got grounded afterwards and was forced to apologize” You trailing off with a slight grumble.

// So precious! Our quirkless little bean!

The reminiscing and laugher soon ended at the sound of a stomach growl. You definitely knew it wasn’t you and your gaze looked over and noticed a slightly embarrassed Toshinori. You stood, “Come on, I’ll fix us some food!” You say grabbing his hand. He blushed “N-No! It’s alright, I think I still have more Ramen left and-” You flicked his nose. “I’m cooking, you can either eat what I cook, or starve” you say “No more Ramen, you need an actual meal!” You hiss at him. He sweatdropped and let out a defeated sigh, ‘But this is my house...’ He thought, but he knew better than to go poke a sleeping bear and soon dropped the subject.

You began to grab vegetables and set them aside. You put the rice on to steam and then turned towards the stove. At the stove you prepared the pan and the meat turning the burner on a low setting so the meat could simmer. You glance over at Toshinori who stood there in shock. “Toshi, I would suggest closing your mouth, you might catch a fly” you joked and he blushed.

“I just didn’t expect you to start cooking a full meal like this! I don’t know anyone our age who knows how to cook like this, that’s all” he said rubbing the back of his neck. You smile as you chopped the vegetables up “My mom taught me when I was younger, she said that I was to make sure that I could take care of myself when I was older” you say putting the chopped vegetables in a bowl and placing it to the side. You grabbed two bowls and set them out one for you and one for Toshi. You went to cook the meat the rest of the way along with the chopped vegetables. Once you we’re done and the steamed rice had finished you prepared the plates.

“Here, Toshi” you say holding a bowl out for him “ I hope you like it!” You say and he gladly accepts it. The both of you sat at the table together and began eating the meal. “So, I guess I really need to thank you for everything you’ve done” he said to you. You looked up from your bowl “It’s no problem Toshi, You needed it!” Looking back down at your bowl. “You know you can talk to me about anything right Toshi?” You ask and he nods. A small frown made its way back to his face “(Y/n), Once we graduate, I’m going to be leaving Japan for a while” he says and your eyes widen.

“What? Why?” You ask and he bites his bottom lip. “The villain that killed Nana is still out there, That monster...” Toshinori growled “He saw me there on that day, and he’ll most likely target me next” he said to you. You saw a fire in his eyes, “I’m going across seas, to America in order to train for when I return, where I’ll have to face him” he said to you. You didn’t want him to go, but you didn’t want him to die either. Years in another country, your heart hurt at these words and you didn’t know why. “I understand...” you say looking down at your lap.

Toshinori watched you and he leaned across the table and lifted your chin up. Your faces were close, so close that you could feel the heat radiating off of him. He gave you a small smile “I love you, (Y/n)” he said leaning his forehead against you. “This day has made it even more evident for me, and I wish I had known sooner” he said and you blushed. Leaning your head upwards you pressed your lips against his, hand reaching up to caress his cheek. “I love you too Toshi” you say with a grin.

The next words that left Toshinoris lips made your heart flutter.

“Come with me to America, (Y/n)”

// Ahhh, sorry for the crappy oneshot! I hope you enjoyed it at least!

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